Heads or Tails
by Just 2 Dream of You
Summary: So like, I'm a normal girl and I'M TRAPPED IN THE YYH UNIVERSE! Wait, this is different from all those trapped in YYH stories. Why? Because I'm actually trapped in the YYH universe INSIDE my favorite anime character. Interested yet? I know you are. Hiei/OC...sort of...
1. Liek, the beginning

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH (no duh or I wouldn't be doing this sh-t)

**This story contains strong language, mild violence,** **adult situations and sexual themes.**

* * *

Vhee: Hey guys! Remember me?!

-crickets chirping-

Hiei: I doubt it.

Vhee: Remember Q&A With Hiei?

-crickets still chirping-

Vhee: -taps glass- Hello?

Hiei: It's dead.

Vhee: The fandom?

Hiei: Yeah. Which means I'm free from all this idiocy.

Vhee: Not so fast there. I'm sure there's at least two or three still left who love YYH! In fact I know at least three people who will review this -wink-

Hiei: I'll kill them.

Vhee: Ugh. It's been five years but I am back and ready to finally post the Hiei/Vhee story! Due to the owner of FanWorks threatening to delete the ENTIRE site I realized that Q&AWH would be lost forever. I intend to have pieces of that thrown at the bottom with the A/N's because if people are gonna report Author's Notes then we are gonna have a big problem cuz everyone does it. I'LL be reporting some others stories too if that is the case. I'll be choosing my favorite questions and answers but just a little each chap. Like these...

**Q&AWH Chap 4:**

From: **Shezka Foxe **

"Does your speed limit you to only short bursts (or distances) at a time? And if so, what speed do you reach? (Talking about MPH)"

Hiei: No it does not. I can go for hours if I have to. What speed? Do I look like I have a speedometer on my chest? How am I supposed to answer that?

From: **Kuri-nee-chan**

"Do you think you stand a chance in Yusuke's upcoming tournament?( even though you probably won't win but will end up in the semi-finals and come to a very close chance, for the sake of the main character winning and becoming ruler of the Makai..sort of) Oh yeah, how would you feel if someone other than you killed the blue haired ferry onna? (yes because we all KNOW you would SO be rejoicing at that moment XP)"

Hiei: Yes I am very mature. I would do better than you, who would die instantly in the first match. Oh, I would cry huge buckets of tears while laying on her grave asking the gods why not me instead.

From: **lilarenapa**

"Do you feel that less and less people are becoming afraid of you?"

Hiei: -glares at Vhee- Yes, unfortunately. But I don't care. If you mess with me you will soon be afraid.

You'll cling to your yaoi pictures and beg for your life as I chase you through your house, hunting you in the darkness. Your last breath will be a shrill scream as I tear through your midsection releasing your organs, letting them fall to your feet. Blood filling your mouth, you will choke and gag as your eyes and throat burn with fire. Then you really will burn as I unleash the flames of Hell on you, disintegrating your flesh slowly. Fear me now?

Vhee: Prolly not.

"What are your favorite trees to sleep in?"

Hiei: The ones outside.

"Do you ever think about a family?"

Hiei: It controls my entire being.

Vhee: -laughing- I forgot how funny you were.

Hiei: _Were?_

Vhee: Uh huh. Anyway, don't wanna waste too much time! The excerpts from Q&AWH will be at the bottom from now on. Enjoy the story!

Hiei: As I set you ablaze with a fireba-

Vhee: No one cares!

Hiei: -sigh-

* * *

Heads or Tails

Chapter 1: Liek, the beginning

X -x-x-x-x- X

This is the part I hate the most. The beginning. The introduction. The place where everyone decides in just a few lines if they like the story hey, where are you going?! I haven't started yet! GEEZ, GIVE A GIRL A FEW!

I mean, my God, how rude! Already heading for the back button and you have no idea what I'm gonna say next!

I BANGED YO MAMA LAST NIGHT! **HOW'S THAT?!**

Yeah. Shows you.

Anyway...(cheerful smile) my story is the weirdest story you will ever read. EVER. And this isn't a story either, this is a documentary of what really happened to me. I'm serious. This really happened. I was really transported to the world of Yu Yu Hakusho.

GET AWAY FROM THAT BACK BUTTON! WTF MAN!

(Siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh) This is not like all those other "normal girl gets taken to YYH" fics either. Why? Because I was really _trapped_ in YYH. Trapped _inside_ one of...

I'm getting ahead of myself.

Let's start with me, duh. I'm a girl, duh. Aaaand...I have red hair and green eyes.

Wow. That was lame. This is another thing I hate; describing what someone looks like. You get people like that or people that spend three pages talking about their OC. Is there a happy medium? I guess not.

I have no idea how to describe myself. I have red hair that would be orange if not for me dying it blood red. My eyes are GREEN. Like emerald green. Not teal green, not hazel. GREEN.

I'm kinda on the pudgy side. (whine) And no I'm not self deprecating myself like some writers do with their OCs so you think they're so butt ass ugly no one would ever hook up with them and then five chaps later she's making out with the hottest guy. No. Just a simple fact. I'm pudgy. Never been thin. Never will be.

But my boobs are HUGE.

Sorry, but they are. DDs, man. Hell yeah.

I'm like five feet tall, which does not help the pudge factor, but it helps dudes wanting to protect me. Like, "awww she's so small and chibi-ish...with big tits."

My face is like a doll. Like a toy doll. Small button nose, big eyes and round chubby face.

And that's all I can tell ya really unless you want graphic details and that would be a different fic, man.

Anyway. My personal shiz. I'm a lowly pathetic orphan and no one loves me!

Haha, nah. My family is just...about themselves. They have their own thing and I have mine. Not that they're bad people, or screwed me over, they just...are. The only one I am remotely close to would be my cousin Bree, but we don't talk much either.

I'm not some sad sappy person. I have a life. An apartment, a job, a car. Normal stuff. I'm the ripe ol' age of twenty one and do not currently have a boyfriend, but who needs 'em anyway! Yeah, amirite?!

I'm so lonely...(sniff)

Ahem. I was on my way to work one day. Simply minding my own business driving down the road when I hit a stoplight.

Okay, I know what you're thinking. "More detail than that please?" but who seriously wants to read my whole life story from the moment I started storing memory to me brushing my teeth that morning? Hmm? Anyone? I didn't think so.

So. Street. Driving. Yes.

I turned on the radio and was blasted by some lame ass shit so I turned on my CD player, yeah CD what of it, and crooned to some Evanescence.

I am not emo so STFU.

I'm singing and driving and totally not paying attention when the door opens. I'm a complete loser bag and forgot to lock my doors! Oh, yay! It's rape and murder time!

He grabs me and throws me to the back seat with little effort and climbs into the driver seat, slamming the gas and sailing through the intersection. I'm wailing for mercy as we travel like sixty miles an hour.

This was not happening. It simply was not. You hear about stuff like this and you never think it'll happen to you. My whole life flashes before my eyes. My family, my school, my television programs.

Apparently, my life is really boring.

"I can't believe this!" he shouts, hitting the wheel as he continues to drive at Mach five. "I came all this way to escape Koenma and his freaks only to be chased by worthless humans!"

Okay...um...WHAT.

I know that name. I know that name all too well. Ko-en-ma. Leader of the Spirit World. Mostly stays in toddler form but sometimes changes to a "cool teenager" when he wants to be cool. He likes his binky. He's very cowardly. He always yells at George. He eats a lot. He cries a lot.

He's a fictional character in a f-cking anime series!

I must be going insane. It's the shock. Yes, that's it. The shock. But that _name_ keeps repeating in my head and it won't stop.

_It couldn't be..._

I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED BY AN ANIME FREAK WHO WENT CRAZY AT A CONVENTION OR SOMETHING!

Not that there's anything wrong with being an anime freak. I myself am one. It's my dirty little secret so to speak. I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I don't smoke or have casual sex or watch little animals get tortured.

I just like to cosplay as Éclair from Kiddy Grade and stalk the FUNimation voice actors. Is that so wrong?

And now I am face to face with someone else who has lost all contact with reality.

But I...can't shake what he said...I shudder and then I notice the guy has YELLOW eyes and he's staring at me through the rear view mirror. "Ko...Koenma...?"

He _growls_ at me. "Shut up or I will rip out your throat!"

And then I started sobbing.

There were cops behind us, blaring sirens, (oh so loud, ow my ears) chasing us. I cried and tried to wave at them, hoping they would save me. He crashes into a fence and begins driving through people's yards, skids out to another street and revs the engine further, all the while I'm screaming and about to piss myself.

He finally stops and grabs me from behind, yanking me out of the car, my body slamming on the pavement. "I have no choice! What is your name?!" I choked on my tears and gunk running down my face. "Tell me your name or I'll gut you!"

He holds out a knife and brings it to my stomach. I gasp and wail. "Vi...Vi...OH, GOD!"

"Viogod?! Your name is Viogod?!"

You ever have something really bad and serious happen to you and right in the middle something funny happens and you wanna laugh? Yeah.

The cops round the corner. "Dammit! You worthless slime!" And he goes to toss me. Before he does, I grab at him. Something clatters out of his jacket and hits the ground. I literally go flying and roll on the concrete, the wind knocked out of me.

I had no idea pain like this could exist.

My head. My chest. My legs. My whole damn body, weak and pathetic. I finally breathe again and watch as he holds out his hands and...

My ears go numb. The sound deafened them.

What the sound was I have no idea. Like a blast, only louder. And the flash of light blinded me.

I was now blind and deaf (shit's gettin' serious now, huh?).

When I came to again, I saw several officers on the ground, red stains under them. The guy was motionless on the ground too, but his stains were blue. I gasped and gathered all the strength I could and crawled over to my car. There were two items under it and I reached for them.

One was like a small candle, maybe an inch wide and six inches tall. It was blue with brown markings, a single red button in the middle. The other was like a tiny compact mirror, again blue with brown markings and a red button in the middle.

The way that one looked reminded me of Spirit World again. I couldn't believe I was thinking of Yu Yu Hakusho, but I couldn't help it, especially after what the guy said. He said _Koenma_.

My body was in all sorts of shock right now and all I could do was drift and hold these two things in my hands.

My thoughts rolled to the anime itself. My favorite episodes and moments. What it looked like. Yusuke's city. Genkai's temple. Everything...

And then...finally...my favorite character.

I am...a Hiei fangirl.

Hold your shocked gasps 'til later please.

I pictured him. I would stare at him for hours memorizing how he was drawn so I knew him the best. My mind seemed to speak on its own. _Hiei..._

As I heard more sirens, I tried to get up, still all these things running through my head, but I couldn't and I fell; my right hand slamming on the mirror and the left falling under my body and being crushed by my massive chest (always with the damn boobs!).

Two different beeps sounded and I gasped as a white light surrounded me. My last thoughts being my favorite anime and my favorite anti-hero in it...

* * *

I woke before I opened my eyes. I could tell I was laying in grass. It was soft and I could smell the scent, which seemed very strong. Almost too strong, like it had been freshly cut though I knew that wasn't the case because it was long, tickling my face.

I opened my eyes and what greeted me was red. I blinked a few times, clearing the fog and looked at black clouds floating through a red sky. Where did I know this from?

Lightning crashed, thunder rumbled far away.

_I know this..._

I sat up.

The field I was in was...for lack of a better word; drawn. The details were as drawn as anything on paper. Sure, it was three dimensional, you could tell that but...it was...DRAWN OKAY? FREAKING DRAWN LIKE ON PAPER! I can't describe it better than that. Ugh.

I reached out to touch it and immediately pulled my hand back.

My hand...was a dude's.

Not only that, it was covered in white bandages which I also knew all too well.

I opened my mouth and the noise that came out of me was as undignified as could be.

I coughed a few times and tried to speak. "What...oh, God..."

My voice...(sigh) was not my voice. My voice was f-cking Chuck Huber's.

Of course right now with the squeaking and shuddering it sounded a bit like Garlic Jr., but it was definitely him. I'd know it ANYWHERE.

"No..." It was _his voice_ and I swallowed, feeling the thick saliva run down my throat. That felt as real as anything else did. I could also feel the wind and smell it, and was beginning to notice it was God AWFUL. What the hell was that?! _I don't wanna know..._

I blinked, trying to do that trick where I force myself to wake up. Didn't work. I pinched my leg, which was like pinching a freaking ROCK and when I finally felt the pain, that didn't work. I grabbed a piece of grass and stuck it in my mouth, tasting it was real, regardless of its visual appearance.

I sniffled back some congestion and looked around, more thunder rumbles echoing in the distance. The ground was slightly wet and I could feel it seep into my pants.

I also then noticed I wasn't wearing a shirt.

And I was a very well toned male.

I groaned, the all too familiar voice making me queasy as I looked around to see anything at all. I was alone in a field of grass. There were woods in the distance, but I felt like if I went in there I would fo' sho' die horribly.

I caught sight of a tiny pool of water maybe six feet from me and crawled over to it. When I reached the water and regarded my reflection I'm sure everyone in a fifty mile radius heard my oh, so manly Garlic scream.

Slightly crooked oval shaped eyes, pointed brows, onyx hair covering a white cloth on the forehead and sticking up to a flamed point, a white starburst in the middle. And crimson pupils looking back at me.

I touched my - his? - cheek. It felt like real skin, soft...so soft...and warm...The eyes looking back at me widened in surprise. It felt as real as my face did this morning when I washed it, though I beheld a drawing in the pool of water.

I panted and fell back on my butt studying my hands again. They were calloused and rough, the nails long and sharp. That was something the anime never showed...

And reality came crashing down on me.

The shock would not let me think what I knew I should be thinking but now I had no choice but to think it.

"Ohh...God..."

Somehow...I was transported into the world of Yu Yu Hakusho.

And I was inside Hiei's body.

...

...

...

...

"WHAT THE FLAMING PISS COVERED FUCK?!"

~To Be Continued

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**J2DOY A/N: Just so ya know, this OC ain't me. She is very close to me in how I would react, but her life is not like mine at all. Nothing about her is like me. Except the huge boobs. Those are totally mine :)**

Vhee: So...you're not me anymore?

**J2DOY: No. I don't really use the alias of Vhee on the internets anymore. Ya'll can call me Dream or J2DOY.**

Vhee: Uh, I like Dream. -smiles-

Hiei: I hate you both.

**Dream: We love you too, hot stuff.**

Hiei: I can't believe you're telling this story...

Vhee: But it's so awesome and explains how I got you to answer all those questions...

Hiei: You blackmailed me by threatening to tell it! Which doesn't matter now because she's telling it anyway!

**Dream: Am I confusing anyone yet? Hehehe...**

Vhee: Please review!

Hiei: I will destroy you all.


	2. OMG OMG OMG

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or anything else remotely cool

* * *

Vhee: Hey, we're back! Look, reviews! You guys are the best! -huggles all y'all-

Hiei: Why did you people comment on this crap? That just means there will be more.

Vhee: Exactly!

Hiei: I feel the need to feast on a soul.

**Dream: You can't do that and we all know it. I am the expert that knows all yo' shit. Now stop talking and look pretty.**

Vhee: O.O

Hiei: ...You're lucky you both have big ti-

-the rest of this scene was deleted due to graphic and disturbing content-

* * *

Heads or Tails

Chapter 2: OMG OMG OMG

X -x-x-x-x- X

"OMIGOD, OMIGOD, OMIGOD...!" is what I basically did for twenty minutes straight, pacing in the field I was in.

I tried everything. I tried jumping up and down, squeezing my eyes shut, screaming at the top of my lungs. Nothing. Zilch. Nada. I wasn't waking up from this. As odd as it was to be in a freaking cartoon, this freaking cartoon appeared to be REAL.

How _drawings could be real_ was beyond be, but real they were. As if that wasn't bad enough, these weren't just any drawings; they were anime. My favorite anime of all time. And I was trapped in my favorite anime character of all time.

I was trapped inside Hiei.

I had no time to actually fangirl about this because I was having a nervous breakdown. Any other fangirls thinking this might be a fun experience, imagine yourself stuck in a sweaty guy who smells like he hasn't showered in WEEKS. I have no idea what Hiei does in his free time but apparently it isn't personal hygiene.

Seriously, all those fics about him smelling good have it WRONG and that's saying a lot coming from me because I would easily kick the shit out of an old lady for insulting Hiei.

I don't know how to describe it. Go roll in dirt and trash for a few days while sweating continuously and then bathe in blood. You might come close.

WHAT THE F-CK WAS HE DOING OUT HERE?!

_God help us all._

I sighed and began just walking. There was no way I was gonna use what I knew was on my/his forehead so I just hoped I wouldn't get eaten out here. After all, I had no idea what time frame I was in. A lot of fics have the girls show up _during_ the show. Very rarely was it after. Although, I couldn't base my experience on other works posted but it was literally all I had to go on.

But I could use my knowledge of everything Yu Yu.

First, I was in Demon World. Second, I/he had bandages on my/his right arm meaning the dragon was in play. That means after the DT and at least after Sensui.

I just hoped it was after 3 Kings cuz that arc SUCKED.

Seriously, Yusuke goes from killing a mad doctor at the tournament who just hurt humans for fun to not caring that some dude was EATING them?

Kurama is_ afraid _of some old blind dude and then goes totally depressing and emo?

Hiei goes totally emo as well and even suicidal, which he showed NO signs of EVER and falls for the first chick to strip naked in front of him?!

IT WAS LIKE A HORRIBLE OOC FANFIC!

**WUT. DA. FUQ.**

Anyway, 3 Kings bashing aside, I did hope I was after the end of the series or something close to it.

I kept walking, hoping and praying to anything listening that someone trustworthy to Hiei would find him - er, me.

Soon I came to a clearing and saw a pair sparring on a hill. I didn't recognize them obviously, but maybe they would me.

Or maybe they would rearrange my shit and leave me for dead.

Before I could reach them I heard a voice calling his name. "Master Hiei! Master Hiei!"

I turned and saw that nose guy...with the big nose for a face... Honestly he's only in one shot in the whole series and yet everyone remembers him. Probably because of the commentary on the original release DVD.

Anyway, he ran up to me and panted a few times. "I am so glad I found you!" his extremely congested voice cheered. "Lord Mukuro is looking for you."

And then my stomach churned with fire.

_Mukuro, huh? __Bitch._

Okay, no, I don't wanna bash. I guess she's okay...for a man stealing ho.

I MEAN yeah, she's strong and had a bad past and yeah it was real sad and, oh who am I kidding, I hate the bitch.

Don't care if you like her, I don't. I'd like her better if she seduced like...Yomi or something. But that didn't happen so...yeah. Moving on...(We all know she was just a throw away character, right?)

Random asshole: That's because Yoshihiro Togashi wanted Hiei and _Kurama _to be -

Vhee: _**SHUT UP!**_ -pushes down a TNT plunger and nukes him-

AHEM. "Master Hiei?" Oh, that's right. Someone's talking to me. Oh crap, someone's talking to me!

"Huh?" Wow, that was the most in character response I ever could've made. Great job there. No really.

"I said Lord Mukuro is looking for you."

Oh, how badly I just wanted to say, "I don't give a shit! Tell her to kiss my ass!" but I shouldn't really... (How many of you would dare me to say that?) Instead I decided to stammer like an idiot. "Oh, uh...oh-kay..." And I looked around. Now the two other dudes came up behind me and were _staring at me._

This is ridiculous. I am practically a Hiei expert. I should know how to keep him IC. So, I wiped the dirt off my arms and spoke, channeling my inner fire demon. "Does she really expect me to go to her? She can come to me. Or not come at all, see if I care." And I walked off feeling the coolest I have ever felt in my entire DAMN STUPID LIFE.

OMG, OMG, THAT WAS AMAZING! No wonder Hiei acts like a dick all the time! I just totally left them there with their mouths hanging open and _walked away. _This shit is awesome! HO MY GAWD!

"Uhm, Master Hiei? You might wanna watch -"

But too late. Just then the moving fortress came out of the trees and barreled down the path I was walking.

And I had no freaking idea how to make Hiei run.

"SHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTT!" And I ran the fastest I could just barely making it out of the way.

And then I collapsed in the grass.

The fortress stopped and the three guys came over to me. "Maybe he tired himself training?" Snout asked the air.

Ah, so that's what Hiei was doing. Training. What the hell else.

"I wonder what she'll think of this..." the lizard/pig commented.

Time to pull Cool!Hiei outta my ass again. "Tell her of this and I'll see to it personally that you breathe through your eyeballs for the rest of your life." Not quite sure if he would say anything like that, but it seemed to work. They all looked at me as I sat up and wiped the grass stains off my pants. "I am tired from training. Help me inside." They exchanged glances. "Now or I neuter all of you while you sleep."

That seemed to do the trick and they helped me climb on board the massive beetle thing.

_Seriously ewewewew grossgrossgrossgross a giant bug WTF ewwewewewewewew._

And inside it was even worse.

Now I knew why Hiei didn't care about smelling good; the stench of this place drowned it out!

And there was like body parts and shit on the walls!

_DEAR SWEET GOD!_

I'm looking around at the Rocky Horror Hall of Fame, as Justin Cook called it, and the giant mouth is dripping saliva on the floor. What the anime apparently didn't show was the beating wall of hearts that were also dripping except with BLOOD. (And we all remember that demons don't have hearts, right? Yeah...) "Lovely décor..." I mumbled and kept walking.

And then I noticed I was all alone in the hallway.

They left me there, the bastards.

I'm just there spinning around like an idiot cuz all the doors look the same. "Oh, God please help me..." I whined pathetically and just then more people came walking. Was that...Kirin? I think that's his name, and yes, I am only not sure because let me reiterate; 3 KINGS SUCKED.

He is dressed just like I remembered him, full armor with mask and is talking to some hairy guy that looks like bigfoot wearing a leotard. Do these people know nothing of looking decent?

He casts a downward glance at me and keeps going, no hint of respect at all in his gaze. "Hmm..." I outwardly muse. "That's interesting..." I decided to keep walking forward and maybe I would just KNOW the room that was his. That was smart thinking!

_Oh, wise spiritual feels, guide me to his room!_

And I stopped at a door. I felt a slight tingle and opened it seeing a bed and not much else. I had no idea how to switch on a light and all that was lit in there was a single sconce burning a single flame.

In the center of the room was a round table and my eyes focused on the item sitting on it.

A katana.

A very specific katana.

Okay, I have to keep myself from running like an idiot over to it and giggling uncontrollably - oh, too late; I already did.

The hilt was the exact same as the anime, down to the last detail and I picked it up, noting how it was heavy but not like I thought it would be.

The girlish glee that sprung in me as I unsheathed _his sword_ was almost too much to take. Gone was the hell I had been placed in and all that was left was the act of beholding the perfect blade.

It shone in the dimness of the room, clear and bright like a diamond reflecting the tiniest light in a cave.

I began to laugh hysterically and bounce on the heels of my feet over and over like a ferret on coffee.

Then I felt something behind me and turned to see I hadn't shut the door and there was some guy just staring at me with his mouth hanging open.

I blinked.

"What the hell are you lookin' at?!" And I slammed the door in his face.

I went to explore the rest of the room, seeing a small closet or armoir. I opened it and gaped at all the black cloaks hanging in there. At least ten, all the same. "What is this, The Jetsons?" I shut the doors and went slinking over to the bed.

It looked okay, nothing fancy. It was a round bed and had just one sheet covering it. The thought of what materials demons used in their world crossed my mind and anything I thought of was fugly as hell.

I looked around and Hiei had no pillows. "Ugh. Really?" I hated that. I sleep with TWO pillows let alone one and this idiot had none. _Great just great._ _He probably sleeps outside more anyway..._

I sat on the bed and fell backwards, looking at the ceiling.

This wasn't a dream. I was awake.

I had no idea how I got here.

I had no idea how to get back.

If I was in Hiei's body, where was mine?

Where was _Hiei?_

Was he still in here with me?

Or...God, what if he switched with me?

Too many questions and now my head hurt. I was exhausted despite having got some sort of sleep being knocked unconscious. Perhaps Hiei's body hadn't slept lately and that's why my eyes were becoming so heavy...

Yeah...tomorrow I would figure everything out and finally paint that bedroom...and then ask the mailman for the leftover ice cream...and you know that dogs only bite twice...nice abs for a short guy...trash dumpsters...orange lights...

...

...

...

* * *

I felt a pain.

A certain kind of pain that everyone knows. You try to ignore it but it just nags and _nags_ at you until you fully wake up. So I did and then realized I wasn't in my comfy bed, but in Hiei's bed and also his body.

And I had a full bladder.

I sat up and winced at the pressure.

_So..._

I was stuck in a dude and I needed to pee. That would be hard enough but this dude was _Hiei_. Freaking Hiei. I needed to pee and that meant removal of clothing. I needed to pee and all I had was Hiei's equipment to do it with.

Removal of clothing. Equipment.

Okay, seriously what the f-ck did I ever do to deserve this?! WHAT?! TELL ME!

A young girl knocks on a door and is greeted by an older girl with red hair and green eyes. "Hello, I'm selling chocolate chip cookies to help my baby brother with his medical expenses. Wanna buy some?"

The redhead blinks. "Oh...uh...nah...I don't think so. I need to lay off the sugar."

The little girl looks down sad. "Oh, but my brother needs an operation. Couldn't you just buy them and donate them? You don't have to eat them."

The redhead nonchalantly flips her hair. "I don't really have that kind of money. I'm saving up for the latest iPhone. Sorry, kid."

Slam door in face.

Okay, NO! That was not how it happened...but yeah, I didn't buy the cookies. IS THAT REALLY SO HORRIBLE?!

In Hiei's body. Full bladder.

Yeah, I guess it was.

"Oh, God..." and I walked to the only door I saw in the room other than the main one. I swung it open to see two toilets. One urinal and one that looked like an old style pull chain. There was also a small shower stall with no curtain or door and no sink.

Everything in there was designed to look as inhuman as possible and I chuckled at that. _Get over yourselves guys, it's a friggin bathroom. _

There was no mirror and I was happy at that. I wouldn't have to watch Hiei undress as I undressed him. That's a whole 'nother kind of freaky. The room was also really clean and I smiled. Hiei seemed to take good care of his stuff. Maybe he stank cuz he was just training.

I went to reach on autopilot for a button and zipper only to crash back into reality and realize this was HIEI with the belts and shit. _I really should've bought those damn cookies._

And as I looked down I realized something else.

Ya know the rumor about guys and full bladders in the morning and what it does to them? Well, it happens to demons too. So...I needed to pee and this is what I had to pee with.

_HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO AIM THIS?! _

My plan to sit on the toilet and not look just flew out the damn f-cking window! Seriously?! SERIOUSLY?! I'M GONNA FIND THAT LITTLE GIRL AND KILL HER BROTHER MYSELF AND I CAN DO IT NOW WITH HIEI'S SWORD AND SHIT SO F-CK ALL OF YOU!

-a few minutes of seething later-

Okay, yeah sorry. But if you were in this position and you had to not only figure out how to undo FOUR belts but aim the morning wood OF YOUR FAVORITE ANIME CHARACTER in the toilet, you'd be plotting blood curdling murder too.

So I started with _teh_ _belts_.

Again something I cannot fangirl over because I'm too busy trying not to piss Hiei's pants.

The anime did not do the detail of these justice as I went to pull on what felt like leather of some kind. More images of weird animals used to make this stuff flashed through my head. I pulled a few times looking for anything that would give. This lasted a few minutes.

Aaaaaaaaaaand, I couldn't get the belts off.

I'm trying really hard here not to just go completely insane. "DAMMIT, YOU SON OF A BITCH! COME THE F-CK OFF!" Another thing I couldn't appreciate was how _sexy_ his voice sounds when it's cussing..._Man the things I could make him say..._

Finally something gave and I pulled it out of the loop following with the next three, grinning with victory until I realized what was gonna come popping out at me when I finished.

Wouldn't ya know, Hiei went commando? Honestly, who didn't see that one coming?

As I undid the last belt I saw the tiniest hint of black hair down there and made a sound that Hiei should never make ever. "EEP!" and my head snapped up.

I let the pants go and felt the oddest sensation of..._himself _flying out from under the fabric...

Censors: Um, excuse me?

Vhee: Yeah?

Censors: This needs to be changed to M.

Vhee: It's only the second chap!

Censors: Well...you're a dirty little girl so change it.

Vhee: Uggggggggggh. I ain't changin' it. It's not like I described the slight tingle of pleasure that ran through me when the pants touched the end of his -

**BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP**

Yeah, okay.

So now I had no choice but to use the urinal and just lean up to it and pee, hoping it wouldn't splash me on the face. And before you ask; no, I have no idea how big he is. I didn't look because I don't think Hiei would appreciate me killing his body with a brain aneurysm.

I sighed in relief as the tank emptied and just rested a little there for a minute.

I closed my eyes and pulled up the pants, cringing when I realized his manhood had not changed. "Wait a minute." I dropped the pants. _Screw these belts, they had to be in here somewhere!_

I ran out of the bathroom only to realize here I was, Hiei, butt ass naked with a raging hard on. Now would be the perfect time for someone to come in!

No one did (maybe a_ dreamy_ someone was feeling sorry for me now) and I ran to the closet. I saw a drawer and yanked it open, throwing identical pants with white belts everywhere all over the place. "Oh, come ON!" I whined as I continued looking through them. Then right at the bottom of the pile, hidden in the corner, I found them. They looked just like I remembered them

_Episode 8._

I held out the simple black fighting pants with the red draw tie, smiling from ear to ear. "No more belts." And I slipped them on, happy that Hiei's body seemed to be cooperating and not sticking up anywhere anymore.

Next I needed a shirt. So I looked through his closet again and saw a few different ones. Most were from the DT, so I picked my favorite; the torn black finals shirt. Next he needed a cloak, (dear God I sound like I'm dressing my action figure or something) so I just grabbed one not seeing any difference in them.

The material was a lot softer than I thought it would be. It wasn't that heavy, though it did feel like a long jacket of some kind. It smelled...hey, it smelled like...

_Him._

Like a burning log on a fire...a forest in the rain...burning, wet pine needles...

_He really did smell good._

And then it hit me. I just put on clean good smelling clothes and he still smells like crap.

Announcer: And here is your reward for stupidest woman on Earth!

Vhee: -crying- OMG! OMG! Thank you so much! I can't believe it!

Announcer: Well, you earned it DUMBASS!

I sighed heavily and folded all the clothes I threw on the floor and put them away. Then I shame-walked back to the bathroom and stripped off. Stepping into the small shower, I looked around and didn't see anything to wash with.

Which meant I would have to use my hands all over his body. Okay, they were his hands, but I would FEEL it and shit. _Feel his rippling muscles and smooth skin..._

A twinge down below let me know his body was responding to my thoughts and I shook my head to clear it. "YOU STUPID BITCH, QUIT THINKIN' ABOUT ME LIKE THAT!" His voice saying that seemed to snap me out of my stupor so I went about looking for soap.

There was none. "Really, Hiei? Really?" I sighed in frustration seeing a tiny cubbyhole carved into the stone wall. Inside was a small blue glass bottle. "Hmm..." I reached in and took it, seeing it had just a simple cork on the top. I uncorked it and took a sniff.

Demon noses are sensitive; fanon had that right.

"_Hih-et-kitchuu!_"

Well, that was another thing I could log away that I accomplished. I now know what Hiei sounds like when he sneezes, which is unbelievablyfreakingadorable, but it was yet something else I could not enjoy properly.

I turned on the water from the single faucet and jumped back when a simple hole in the wall sprayed water at me. I dumped the contents of the bottle into my hand and cringed at the puke green color, although it did smell nice.

So I lathered up his hands, which was hard with the right one covered in bandages (aw shit, did he remove those when he bathed?! Oh dammit) and went to wash..._his body_...

-the remainder of the scene had to be deleted or else this would be changed to M-

WTF?! NO! I didn't do anything wrong or dirty!

Everyone: Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure you didn't. We believe you.

Vhee: -.-

Everyone: No really.

Screw all of you, okay? I didn't. I would never do that to Hiei. NEVER. I love him too much to disgrace him like that.

All I did was was his arms and chest - which was AMAZING by the way. Oh. Just OH. I can't describe what his muscles feel like. Just hfjhdkjfhkjdshfkjhds. That. Right there.

I avoided anything below the waist like the plague and left his hair alone because there was no freaking way I was gonna ruin THAT! God help me, I wash it and it goes flat and emo forever or something stupid like that. HELL NO.

And then I got redressed cuz he dried really quickly. Like all by himself in two seconds. Huh. And then I went back to the closet looking for a scarf when I saw something hanging on a hook. It was Yukina's teargem.

Something else the anime got wrong. It was like staring into the most beautiful crystal in the world, sparkling like a diamond in the sun. It glowed like a pale moon at night and I shivered as I touched it. I felt something when I did, kinda like a serene peace. I felt so much better and calm so I figured that's why he liked to wear it all the time.

So I put it on.

And went looking for a scarf which when I found it, I had no idea how to get it on. I don't know how he does it but there was no way to do it. I sighed and simply wrapped it around me like a winter scarf and stood there in the empty room.

_Now what?_

As if on cue, the door opened. And there stood Mukuro. "I called for you. I don't like _waiting,_" she snarled. Anyone else picture chains and whips just now?

I gulped as I stared at her. The anime got this wrong too. REALLY wrong. The detail on her was exquisite.

In fact, the whole world I was in looked like the best drawing and animation the show had. Just pick the best it looked ever and imagine that. No sloppy drawings, or bobble heads, or chibis and crap that looks like the Teen Titans. It looked like love was in every line and not just people cranking out an ep to get paid that week.

Mukuro's face was what you would expect. On the side that wasn't burned, you could tell she was beautiful. VERY beautiful._ Gorgeous._ I felt myself get jealous at that. The skin was hanging and deformed all the way down her body, ages of regrowth and injuries covering over it. Her hair was an unruly burnt orange sticking up on her head and her eyes...her eyes...were boring straight into mine.

And she looked furious.

_Wait, isn't Mukuro a psychic and she can read minds and see everything I think - oh crap._

She launched herself across the room and wrapped her hand around my throat. Insert another Garlic Jr. scream as she slammed me against the wall and clenched her fist even harder. "WHO ARE YOU?!"

Oh, dammit! She was gonna kill me but I was stuck in Hiei's body which meant she was gonna technically kill him too!

Oh, shit! She was gonna kill Hiei!

AND ME!

AND HIEI!

OH GOD! I TOLD Y'ALL SHE WAS A BITCH!

~TBC

* * *

**A/N: Well, that was interesting.**

Vhee: Yeah, try living it.

Hiei: I wish Mukuro had killed us.

Vhee: SHH! Hiei! Don't give away stuff!

Hiei: We're obviously alive so we obviously live. Like the next chapter will be "And then Mukuro killed us. The end." Moron.

**Dream: You keep pickin' on her and I might just do that.**

Vhee: No, don't do that! I WANNA LIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

Hiei: -.-

**Dream: -.- So while she's crying let's go down memory lane again!**

**Q&AWH Chap 5:**

From: **QueenOfCrisis**

"If you HAD to wear any color BESIDES black, what would it be?"

Hiei: Red.

Vhee: Saw _that_ coming a mile away...

"do you like animals? If so, what ones?"

Hiei: Oh, yes. I _love_ animals. Especially the ones that eat humans.

Vhee: Again. Saw it.

"Your katana is really cool Hiei! where did you happen to get it?"

Hiei: There was a blacksmith in the bandits village. I asked him to make me one.

Vhee: Asked?

Hiei: Yes, I was very polite with my hand around his throat.

Vhee: What good manners!

From: **BlackBelt**

"You don't really hate Kuwabara do you? I mean he is very loyal and kind and places others before himself. He might not be the strongest or the smartest but he is decent. Is he just an easy target because is a bit on the sensitive side?"

Hiei: Of course not. I love him with every fiber of my being.

Vhee: Hiei...

Hiei: What? I can't hate the idiot?

Vhee: What about your face when he was attacked by Toguro at the Dark Tournament?

Hiei: Ever heard of acting? I needed to play it up for Yusuke so we all wouldn't die.

Vhee: Blah.

From: **Akemi Tsuki Hikari**

"How would you react if, hypothetically, someone mistook you for a human? (Which would NEVER happen.)"

Hiei: Of course it never happens. That's why I am able to walk around Human World.

From:** Proxima Shining**

"Where did you get the blue fighting outfit that you wore at the beginning of the Dark Tournament? (I kinda think it was provided by Kurama but who knows) And if it was handpicked by you, then could you tell me why did you choose this particular style and colour?"

Hiei: You guessed right. It came from Kurama. He said I needed to look _presentable_. -looks at KxH fans- Shut up.

From: **Kitten-the-Wolf**

"-Blushes- Um., how big are you down there? -giggles- Your private place I mean?"

Vhee:** T**! THIS IS **T**! HE CAN'T ANSWER THAT!

Hiei: Oh please, there has been innuendo all over this thing. I'm surprised it hasn't been pulled. How _big _am I? -chuckles- More than a little virgin like yourself could handle.

Vhee: You don't know that, Hiei...

Hiei: Everyone's a virgin when they meet me.

Vhee: ... I'm not even gonna _try_ to figure that one out.

From:** pumafangz101**

"What type of mental is used for your katana?"

Hiei: Mental? _Metal_. Silver infused steel.

"What metal would you recommend?"

Hiei: That.

"What is your favorite type of ice cream or 'sweet snow'?"

Hiei: Strawberry.

"Why do you like sleeping in a tree?"

Hiei: Let's see, tree or mud. What would you choose?

"What type of demon would you prefer as a mate?"

Hiei: One that won't annoy me.

"What is your birthday?"

Hiei: The day I was born.

"Just out of curiosity, how do you like your sex?"

Hiei: Really quick and fast with no enjoyment for the female.

Vhee: Ass.

Hiei: What? Like I would tell any of you people.

**Dream: Ah, yes. Lot's of good ones from chap five. I only wanna do my faves from each chap once per chap here. Sorry if it's too much. There's just so much gold in here!**

Vhee: That was a lot of fun. But I'm having fun here too!

**Dream: Thanks, babe.**

Hiei: I wonder what height would kill me to jump off of...


	3. Hiei almost cries -oh, but wait

Disclaimer: Yeah, I actually own YYH cuz I'm that freaking awesome. On DVD. The characters, not so much...

* * *

Vhee: Oh, I just love all of you soooooooooo much! -candy and cookies to everyone-

Hiei: -sigh-

Vhee: Cheer up, Hiei. It won't take that long. Just a full chap fic and perhaps more. Shouldn't be too long.

**Dream: It is.**

Vhee: Oh.

**Dream: Yeah.**

Hiei: ... -undoes bandages-

**Dream **& Vhee: O.O

* * *

Heads or Tails

Chapter 3: Hiei almost cries -oh, but wait

X -x-x-x-x- X

So after I calmly explained the whole thing to Mukuro we sat down and shared a great big ol' laugh at the _hilarious_ situation. Then we drank tea and talked. I was like, "So Mukuro, what's it like being a half deformed cyborg?"

She was all like, "Oh, it's awesome." And then we did our nails and tickled each other while we had a pillow fight.

Yeah, that scene would be more horrific than what I was currently experiencing. Which was the room going white, my ears ringing and I'm sure my face was turning blue cuz she wasn't letting any oxygen into my - er, Hiei's lungs!

"I'LL KILL YOU, YOU DISGUSTING CRETIN!" she screamed.

_You can't! THIS REALLY IS HIEI'S BODY!_ my mind screamed back and I saw her normal eye widen just a little. The pupil dilated and she looked me over.

"We'll see about that," she snarled and a blinding pain surged through my head.

_NO! STOP! PLEASE!_

"If you stop fighting, it won't hurt as much!" she released her grip on my throat just a bit so I could breathe and I gasped as images started playing through my head.

A young girl is skipping through the park and a barking dog comes running over to her, jumps on her and starts pulling on her sleeve. She screams as an adult pulls the dog off and she stands up sobbing hysterically. "I JUST POOPED MYSELF!"

_Okay, why was she looking at that?!_

"Watch this, guys!" a teenage girl announces at the pool and swan dives off the high board. She jumps out and emerges victorious. "Was that awesome, guys?" And all the boys are looking at her massive rack...with no top left on it. "WAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

_WHAT THE HELL, MUKURO?!_

Two young adults are kissing on a bed. The girl pulls away. "I'm...I'm not sure..."

The less than attractive male raises an eyebrow. "You love me, don't you?"

She looks around, nervous. "Well...I guess..."

He snorts. "Then get on your hands and knees and stick your ass in the air."

_HOLD IT! It didn't happen like that! I'm pretty sure he was more romantic than that..._

_**Or maybe you're just a pathetic whelp**, _her voice chimed back.

_I am not! You're doing this! You're changing my memories to torture me!_

_**I am not!**_

_ARE TOO!_

_**AM NOT!**_

_ARE TOO!_

_**AAM NOOOT!**_

_OOOOWWW! _Another surge of pain swept my head.

_**Now shut up or I'll turn your brain to mush!**_

_You can't do that; this is Hiei's body! You'll be hurting HIM!_

She chucked. _**If this truly is his body, he can handle it, I assure you... **_The seductive tone at the end was not missed by me and I had to suppress the bile rising in my throat.

_EW!_

More things played in my head.

"Hey mom, can I stay up for no particular reason?"

"Sure."

And the girl does, seeing for the first time Yu Yu Hakusho on Adult Swim. The episode is **Seven Ways To Die **and she spends the whole thing trying to figure out why the Sailor Moon chick and other girl are running from zombies while the greaser kid fights seven of the same dude and three other guys outside are fighting spinach monsters. And is that a baby?

She likes it.

The next time she sees it, it's on Toonami and she falls head over heels. Every day she races home from school to catch it and when she can't, she tapes it on her TV/VCR. She tapes it anyway and re-watches every ep over and over, all through the Dark Tournament.

And then becomes very pissed when they stop airing the episodes RIGHT BEFORE THE FINALS! SERIOUSLY?! Anyone else remember this shit?! It was like six frigging months! WTF!

So she gets fed up and starts buying the series off the Z Store and totally pesters her mom to do it for her and then starts buying the series at Best Buy every time a new DVD comes up and her mom totally doesn't understand cuz she doesn't get that this is A SERIES and there's more than one freaking DVD!

So she buys the whole set and a few other items such as the cards, the key chains and action figures and the CDs and one plushie in the shape of a certain swordsman...And then the series ends and she is heartbroken.

Until she discovers internet for the first time.

And fanfiction.

And the fact that other people do this too and she's NOT crazy.

_She isn't alone..._

And she writes for the first time in YEARS and feels like if only just one person reads it, she's doing something worthwhile. It gives her a sense of pride she had never felt before. Maybe, just maybe, she isn't so worthless...

Oh, and she totally downloads the manga too.

It changes again. I'm in my car. They guy attacks me. The blast. The items. The beeping noise right before I black out. And then I wake up in a field. I totally freak out and humiliate myself. I bathe him and run my hands all over him - OW!

Another pain hit me as she dropped me to the floor.

I pant a few times and look up at her. She just stares at me with her arms crossed, glaring daggers at me. Then she finally takes a breath. "You _bathed _him?"

Okay, after everything she just saw, including the fact that I come from a world where her life is nothing more than a f-cking cartoon, and I know all her dark secrets, THAT'S what she chooses to get angry about? That I bathed him?

Anyone else getting the creepy possessive girlfriend vibe?

"Hmp." She walks away from me. "And you used shampoo and _didn't _wash his hair. Shows how brilliant you are."

"How was I supposed to know?!" I squeak, standing up and rubbing my throat.

"You know, that was a gift from _me_..." And she sits on the bed, still glaring at me.

Yep, definitely creepy possessive girlfriend. Like the one that messages you on Facebook going "Why haven't you changed your status yet?! I did after the first date!"

Mukuro huffed. "I have no idea what_ Facebook_ is but you might wanna pay attention to me before I seriously hurt you." Wait a minute she can hear me? "Yes, I can. I hear everything you think. I have never met anyone with literally no barriers on their mind. It's rather pathetic."

I gulped. "Oh, but you! That's not fair!"

"Life isn't fair. If it were, you would not stealing my heir's body, now would you?"

"I'M NOT STEALING ANYTHING! You saw! This was an accident -"

"**CEASE TALKING!**" she bellowed and I jumped back. "You make Hiei sound like an idiot. From now on, think your words back to me."

I sighed. _Fine. What do you want from me?_

"I want answers, but since you have none all I can do is try to find some way to fix this. Since you have no idea what happened to Hiei and he is not in there at all, I checked..." well, that was a relief. But that means he switched with me! "...and that means he somehow got switched with you. So what I will do is conduct an investigation as to what actually happened and where Hiei is. Until then..." And she got up, coming for me again.

_Wait a minute, what?_

"You will be staying where I can keep an eye on you. I want to make perfectly sure nothing happens to Hiei's body while you are in control."

"Hey, hold the phone!" I barked at her. "You can't keep me here!"

And her hand went around my throat again.

"Indeed I can, my dear. Unless you want to try your luck outside where everyone would love to feast on a weakened Hiei who can't fight back." She chuckled darkly and grabbed my arm, pulling me. "I didn't think so."

The next scene that all the other hardened demons witnessed was Mukuro pulling a whining Hiei through the halls.

"Ow no stop that hurts let me go you bitch you can't do this to me owowowowowow!"

You can imagine all the looks that received for yourselves, right? Yeah.

Next she threw me in a small room that looked like a jail cell and smirked as she locked the door. "Keep making noise and I _will_ have to hurt you."

I huffed. "You would hurt HIEI, remember?"

She smiled wickedly. "I think he can survive without a spleen. And I think if he were here, he would give me permission."

I gasped and looked down. _She was probably right... Hiei would hate me. He probably does right now..._

I suddenly felt very sick. I sat down on a hard bench in the room and held my head down. She walked away. Now I was alone in a cold dark cell and I had no idea what was going to happen to me next.

This was the lowest I had ever been in my whole life.

I felt my eyes start to sting and sniffled.

Now all y'all saying "it's Mary-Sue time!" please remember what I've been through. I'm stuck in a guy, which is horrible enough, but this guy is one that I...highly think of... in a completely different world which should not be real at all and I'm locked in a jail cell, (with no freaking bathroom by the way!) by the same guy's psychotic girlfriend who most likely wants to serve all my organs in a field for giant birds to feed on!

So yeah, I'm gonna cry okay?! But as my bottom lip quivered, it hit me. _OH...MY...LORD..._What if I cried in his body?

THE TEARGEM THEORY! OH, MAN! Did he?! Didn't he?! If he did, what color were they? Black? Red? Did they change colors? (I came up with that one myself) Were they filled with acid or poison? Were the tears themselves black liquid? Or were they BLOOD? Did the Jagan cry too? Can you tell I've read lots of fanfiction?! OMG!

Part of me wanted to cry just to see if the fanon was right at all, but then the other part didn't want to insult him like that. This was something private and all his. I couldn't just...take that from him...So I held it back and laid down on the bench.

But I totally fangirled at almost making Hiei cryeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

* * *

I kinda fell asleep because I'm pretty sure there were no dancing watermelons in that jail cell with me, (Although this WAS Mukuro's place so who da fuq knows?) and I startled when I saw someone outside the door staring at me. I sat up and recognized him as Kirin again (still not sure if that's his name) and watched as he came closer.

"So...you're really not Hiei then?" he asked me.

"Uh..." I looked around. "No."

He chuckled. "I see. Well, then." He held out a glass ball much like the communication thingamajigs that were used at the beginning of Crap Saga - er 3 Kings. "I have an offer for you."

I blinked. "Yeah?"

"Leave this place and never return. I could care less what has happened to the real Hiei and if his body is someplace else that Mukuro won't travel to, then it will finally all be over."

I stood up and came closer to him. "What will all be over?"

He paused and looked me up and down, pure disdain in his gaze. "Her ridiculous obsession with him." My eyes widened. "Ever since he arrived, things have changed. She used to be cutthroat and ruthless. Now she's soft and content."

"And contentment isn't good because...?" Don't get me wrong, still hate the witch but for someone to _want _her to be miserable is kinda...asshatish.

"It's wrong because it isn't her! _He's_ changed her. She immediately became attached to him when _I've_ been with her centuries?!"

Ah. That was it then; jealousy. I've heard rumors of her first in command liking her in some fics. I just didn't think I'd see it play out here._ How odd...that wasn't in the anime or manga..._

"Look," his voice snapped me out of it, "I've offered you a way out. Will you take it?"

"What is this way out?" I asked (duh it was me. Like a magical leprechaun was in here with me talking to him. Gah, I hate that in fics too. No need to state the obvious, people!).

He held up the glass ball again. "This will open a portal. Simply walk into it and it will take you where ever you want to go."

Random asshole: Wait. This is a total cop-out and kinda obvious. You're getting of there way too fast.

Vhee: -_- do you think anyone really wants to read me in that cell for 8 hours, with no bathroom pissing all over the walls? Or how about a 3 chap escape attempt which would totally fail because I'm weak and have no idea how to fight?

Asshole: Uh...

Vhee: Didn't I nuke you in chap 2? GTFO! -snaps fingers and a portal appears beneath him and sucks him into a dark abyss where he shall float for all eternity-

"Are you going to take it or stare off into space?"

My head snapped up. "Huh?"

His eye twitched. "Not a bright one, are you?"

I frowned. "Hey, how do I know this thing won't kill me?"

He looked away briefly. "Because, I don't kill the innocent." He held out the ball and I took it. "Make sure you know the place you want it to take you to before you activate it." I nodded and he chuckled. "Good riddance." And he walked off.

"You too, jerk weed!" And I turned to face the wall. I knew the best place for me to go. We all know it, don't we? The only place where I would want to be. _The temple..._

I imagined it again. How it looked, every detail I could remember along with Genkai's old face. I threw the glass ball against the wall and watched the liquid drip down.

Nothing happened. "What the fu-"

And then the wet stain turned into a blinding blue portal. When he said I could _walk_ into it, he was obviously lying. More like having my feet pulled out from under me and slamming me on my ass as it yanks me into the swirling vortex. Insert more high pitched screaming from Hiei's lungs as I try to claw on the floor to slow it down as it sucks me in.

_The colors...oh the colors, man...blue and purple and pink and WTF is up with the orange lights?!_

So we all know the ep where Kuwabara gets sucked into the Cape of No Return and then reemerges at the first stadium and falls like an idiot screaming for mercy? Well, just do that scene and replace Kuwabara with Hiei. And make the stadium the very top of Genkai's steps. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I broke something on Hiei, I just hope it wasn't his FACE.

Then I heard voices, and not the ones I usually hear.

One was young, another old and the other was REALLY LOUD! OH, GOD SHUT IT OFF! WTF MAN?!

The old voice shushed it and I suddenly felt something sweep through my body; cold and warm at the same time. I felt like I was floating off the pavement and I sighed at the simple pleasantness of it all. And then it was done and my eyes shot open only to be greeted with the same crimson orbs that I currently possessed.

I let loose another girlish scream jolting up and she screamed too along with the loud voice from before. "What the heck, Hiei?!" he bellowed and I looked up at the ugliest face I have ever seen.

Now, all you fangirls about to choke me, allow me to explain.

Kuwabara...is weird lookin'.

Imagine a burly Micheal Jackson sportin' an Elvis hairdo that's crayon orange and curly. You might come close. The only thing that was appealing was his eyes, which even though they were too small, had very deep irises. You could see all his emotion in them. _Huh... _

"What happened to you?" And that VOICE. Why did Chris have to do such an AWFUL, grating voice like that?! WHY?! "Hiei?"

Apparently my shock and /or disgust was showing on Hiei's face because everyone was giving me weird looks. "Uhh..." And yet another wonderful in character response from the chick stuck inside Hiei! _This is going great. _

I turned to Yukina and she was breathtaking. Big round orbs shining like garnets against the sea green of her hair, so much more than the anime could've drawn. She was dressed in human clothes, a summer dress, and her hair was in braided pigtails instead of her usual hair style. I couldn't help but wonder where that came from. Perhaps something that was drawn somewhere?

She was staring at me and I swallowed, suddenly nervous in her concerned gaze. "Did...you heal me?"

She nodded. "Yes. You seemed very hurt. I hope you don't mind."

I shook my head. "No..." and I looked at all of them realizing I had totally screwed this up. They would want answers, and I had none. What could I possibly tell them? And I couldn't just walk off into the forest and sit in the mud all day. And there were THINGS in Genkai's forest! My only choice was to stay inside but how could I do that without totally humiliating Hiei? I mean, KUWABARA was here. _Damn him._

"Are you still hurt?" Yukina asked and a plan hit me. It was lame but it was all I had.

"No...I don't think so...but I have no idea who I am. Or who any of you people are."

The shocked looks of horror told me that my lie seemed to do the trick, but it was Yukina's face that hit me hard. The look of utter _hurt_ that crossed her features was like a stab of ice in my gut. "You...don't know who I am?" she asked softly. I shook my head again and she looked down and away, as if she was gonna start making jewels all over the place any second.

I've always had this theory; that Yukina knows. If fact I believe she knew from the DT on. Something happened in between being rescued and coming back. She totally knew who Hiei was. The look of disappointment and sorrow on her face right now seemed to show that.

"Wait," Kuwabara started. "If you don't know who we are, how did you know she healed you?"

Oh. My. God. Did Kuwabara just say something smart? Did he really just have an intelligent moment? The world must be coming to an end - well, this anime world I'm stuck in, that is. Any minute an S class was gonna come out of the trees and vaporize us.

I stuttered a little and noticed Genkai staring at me very hard. I needed an explanation and I needed one NOW. "I...know certain things, like where I am; Human World, right?" Yukina nodded. "And I know what I am; an apparition, right?" Another nod. "And so are you." She smiled. I looked up at Kuwabara. "_You_ are not." Hehe, score a win for Hiei's cocky tone.

He "hmped" and crossed his arms. "Punk hasn't changed if you ask me."

"We didn't," Genkai chided. "Now then. We need to figure out how you got hurt. Obviously it was bad..." she paused, "'cause you cracked my pavement. Let's get him inside."

They nodded and Yukina helped me up, which I thought was nice and we walked towards the temple.

It was really beautiful. Just like I remembered, with birds singing in the trees and I could hear the little fountain thing, ya know the one with the wooden stick like in Rurouni Kenshin hitting on the rock. Such a cute sound. A very peaceful quality to it. Made me wonder what would happen to this place when she died...

Thankfully, she was still alive in this time-frame and this fic has no place for depressing crap so let's move on, okay? Okay.

We all sat down on the floor in a living room of some sort. Genkai sat in front of me and Yukina off to my side with Kuwabara next to her. I looked at Genkai and grimaced. _Man, get a load of the wrinklage..._

She stared at me. "Something must have injured him greatly to affect the Jagan like this."

I blinked. "Ja...gan?" Tee hee, I love playing dumb.

Random asshole: _Playing?_

Vhee: DAMMIT! How did you get back?!

Asshole: I drove.

Vhee -_-+ -a meteor drops from the sky plowing him into the middle of the planet-

Genkai cleared her throat. "You shouldn't be able to suffer mental injuries," she simply stated. She reached forward, to the bandanna _to the Jagan_ and I jerked back in protection. "Do you know what's behind this cloth?" she asked.

"Uh..." _Play dumb again, you dumbass! _"...my forehead?"

Genkai smirked. "No. It's the Jagan; a third eye for the spirit. Now, let me check it. I won't hurt you." I sighed and let her undo the bandanna, suddenly feeling very exposed for some reason when she did. "I can't tell when it's closed. Can you open it?"

I looked around. I had no idea how to do something like that! How was I supposed to know that?! I couldn't even feel it up there so how was I supposed to open the damn thing?! Ugh, just ugh.

I gently reached up my hand, trembling I'm sure, and touched the outer lid. It was really an eye. Like a REAL freaking eye! I mean it; picture an eyelid with no lashes and you can feel the top and the bottom and shit and I touched around and the eyeball moved behind my finger - OH GOD WHAT THE F-CK?! IT _MOVED!_

Insert another high pitched girly scream from Hiei's lips as I tore my hand away shrieking, "It moved!" And they all stared at me like Hiei had grown three heads. "Well...I can't open it." I finally stated.

"If you know you're a demon it shouldn't be the least bit shocking to you that you have a third eye..." Genkai mused, still eying me.

Kuwabara laughed. "You act so different! So you really have no idea who you are?" I scoffed at him. "Well your name is...Vincent."

Yukina gasped. "Kazuma! It is not!" She turned to me. "Your name is Hiei."

He winced at her yelling at him. "I thought it was funny..."

Vincent. Another name I knew too well. That was from the Filipino dub of YYH. So how would Kuwabara know it? In fact this was like the third or fourth thing I noticed that was odd. Like small things hidden in the background subconsciously that were not in the manga or anime. "And don't pick on him," Yukina continued. "Something very bad has happened to him."

"Yes," Genkai groaned as she stood up. "I agree. Something very bad has happened to Hiei." To **Hiei.** That did not go unnoticed by me and I gulped. "Let's get him something to eat," she offered.

"Yes, I can cook whatever you want. What would you like?" Yukina asked. Oh, boy! I've read many fics where Yukina cooks and it's always good. I'd be an idiot not to take up that offer!

Hiei: You're an idiot anyway.

Vhee: Shut up! You're not even in this yet! (I bet you guys thought it would be the random asshole again, huh? Although there isn't much difference...-.-)

"Anything...I guess. Whatever you wanna make," I answered a little nervous.

She beamed at me. "Okay. I'll make something really special." She touched my arm, eyes shining in that anime way, ya know when the orbs tremble and stuff? Kinda weird to see it right in front of you. That shit ain't natural, y'all.

But she did look really happy. Like I had made her day or something. _Yeah, she definitely knows..._

So I waited in a sitting area with Kuwabara while Yukina went at it in the kitchen.

And he was glaring at me. After a few seconds, cuz I HATE people staring at me, I finally snapped. "What?"

"You don't remember, so I'll let it slide just this once. With a warning." I looked at him. "Stay away from my girlfriend." Oh, God really? Aw man, now I have to listen to a Kuwabara style Yukina rant. "I know she's pretty and she's bein' nice to you and stuff but that doesn't mean she likes you. She's _my_ girl, not yours."

I just wanted to totally mind f-ck him. Just really mess with his head. Why? Because apparently I'm evil and I've had a bad day and need cheering up. "Are you sure _she_ knows that?" I said with a wicked grin as he paled. "Because she has been _awful _nice..."

And his brain snapped like a twig. "YOU LITTLE!" He jumped over the coffee table and wrapped his hands around my throat.

What was the deal with people f-cking CHOKING me all the damn time?! I mean really; am I wearing a sign that says "Please constrict my airways" or something?!

Genkai came in and yanked him off me with a wave of psychic energy. "Stop that! You'll break my furniture!" she barked and Kuwabara moaned as he slid down the wall he hit.

I panted and stood up. "Glad you care." And she bore her eyes into mine.

"If I didn't, your ass would be in my forest getting to know _all_ my freeloaders."

Yukina came in, oblivious as always, and announced that dinner was ready. Genkai walked off mumbling something about antacid and us two guys followed Yukina to the kitchen.

So we sat down at a table and she served me what looked like stir-fry of some sort. I could smell all the spices and I think that was beef.

I had noticed that the whole "sensitive demon nose" thing was true. I could SMELL, man. Really smell things. It was almost nerve racking. Like for instance, the whole stinky Hiei and God awful bug thing was horrible. Plus Demon World smells like the back end of a guy that works in a shit factory. That being said, I could smell the many trees at the temple, as well as everyone's personal scent.

Like, Genkai uses some sort of lotion. And her shampoo is really nice. Yukina has a...menthol flavor to her? Like I know lots of people write her smelling like mint so maybe that's it but also baby powder. Very strong baby powder. I love that stuff and used to have the perfume. Maybe she had some?

Kuwabara smelled like a nice enough cologne and I could tell he at least took care of himself. That was good.

And this food in front of me had spices I had no idea about. But whatever. Food is food. They handed me some chopsticks and !NERD ALERT! I am one of those people that sit on YouTube and looks shit up and yes I looked up how to use chopsticks and yeah okay STFU. I'm eatin' ain't I?

So I took some meat and took a bite and ya know how I mentioned all those fics where Yukina is this AMAZING cook? Wrong. Wrong. WRONG. She sucks. Plain and simple. I have no idea wtf I just put in my mouth but it was burned and tasted like I ate a piece of coal. I politely spit it out in a napkin and went for the veggies which were smothered in so many spices I couldn't breathe when the simple carrot hit my tongue.

Now I could chalk this up to Hiei's body being more sensitive but that just makes it worse. SO MUCH WORSE.

I look over and she's watching nervously at me and Kuwabara. "Is it good? Did I do better?"

_BETTER? I'd hate to see what was WORSE than this!_

Kuwabara didn't miss a beat. "It's delicious, Yukina! The best fried beef I've ever had!" She blushed at his praise. "I mean it!" And he shoveled it in.

Perhaps...his love for her was blocking out the horrid taste. Perhaps he loved her _so_ much he actually BELIEVED it was great. Which makes him the best boyfriend ever.

Seriously out of all four, Kuwabara really is the best boyfriend material. Look at it, he'll dote on you and buy you stuff and never cheat on you and love you and take care of you.

Yusuke will sit on his ass and watch TV.

Kurama will be too busy brushing his hair a hundred times.

And Hiei will spill your blood.

Kuwabara = Best BF EVER.

"But anything tastes good when I'm with you, my beautiful flower." I found myself becoming very jealous that, yet again, the pretty girl gets the best guy. As I watched him gush over her, I had my hand on a glass of water and suddenly it began to boil over and exploded upward all over the place, showering all three of us.

Yukina screamed and Kuwabara flailed backwards off his chair onto the floor. "WHAT THE HELL?!" He got up and yelled at me. "You did that on purpose! You just can't stand that she likes ME!"

Well, he had that sort of right.

I made a quick exit, feeling guilty about that but I hate uncomfortable situations. Yukina was calming him down while they cleaned the water and I sighed as I went for the door. _Maybe outside would be better..._

"And where do you think _you're _going?" the old bat chimed behind me. I turned to face her, seeing her smoking a cig nonchalantly. I looked around and went to answer and she chuckled. "You're not Hiei." I opened my mouth in protest but she bit me off. "I know even when people lose their memories their mannerisms are still the same. Yours are completely different from his. I'd guess female." She blew out some smoke. "Now...tell me who you are or I'll have no problem kicking your ass and feeding you to all my hungry pets."

I gulped. She had me, the old bitch. How the f-ck am I supposed to explain THIS?!

Just then I heard two more voices coming up the stairs. One was female and the other male; the one male voice that always made me smile. My favorite male voice. _Yusuke Urameshi._

Let's see what I had now; I'm in Hiei's body.

Kuwabara thinks I want Yukina's ass.

Genkai is gonna kick _my_ ass.

And Yusuke just showed up with what I think is Keiko, and he'll also kick my ass!

I really did think Hell was gonna have a lot more flames than this...although, I was trapped inside a FIRE demon...is that irony?

Damn you, Alanis Morissette.

~TBC

* * *

**Dream: Well, we have learned that Hiei can burn down our house and everything in it but not us.**

Vhee: ...

**Dream: But I am the writer so I can fix this. -snaps fingers and the house is back-**

Vhee: O.O

Hiei: Ugh...

**Dream: Yup. I am that awesome. Sorry for the length but Vhee won't STFU.**

Vhee: Hey...

**Dream: Sorry hun, but it's true.**

Hiei: Ha.

**Dream: But who cares. Let's see more of Vhee not shutting up!**

Vhee: HEY!

**Q&AWH Chap 7:**

From: **SpasticImpulses**

"What are you going to do when (yes when, not if) Yukina and Kuwabara get married and start a family?"

Hiei: Jump off a building and impale myself on a iron fence.

"Do you drink alcoholic beverages?"

Hiei: Daily.

"What's your favorite color?"

Hiei: Blood.

From: **Trappersgirl**

"Hiei...what do you eat besides human junk food? Oh...and this is a question for both Vhee and Hiei...if you had to have a power that you didn't already posses...what would it be? Thank you for reading this and if you have gotten to the end...I have officially wasted minutes of your life and I wish you good day XD"

Hiei: I eat animals and vegetables. While I was trapped in Human World I stole from restaurants. No, I wouldn't because my power is unstoppable. You _have_ wasted my life, so you can take your 'good day' and shove it.

Vhee: Mean! As for me...I wanna fly. I have always had dreams of being able to fly, so that would be it.

Hiei: Moron.

Vhee: Why? Because I have dreams? It's better than 'I'm unstoppable!' Seriously, ego much?

Hiei: "I wanna fly!"

Vhee: ASSHOLE!

Hiei: Now you're thinking about that? You're sick...

Vhee: AHH! NEXT!

From: **XBabydollXExperimentX**

"Hiei is there a reasin OTHER than him being alittle stupid, that you hate Kuwabara. And your sister isn't areason! HA!"

Hiei: His voice makes my ear-drums cry out in pain. There. The truth is revealed.

"Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream?"

Vhee: -laughs- Yeah, O great and powerful Hiei Jaganshi, do you wike spwinkles on your ice-cweam?

Hiei: -boiling red-

Vhee: -laughing hysterically- She really thinks you're tough and scary! -continues laughing while pointing at Hiei-

Hiei: -takes in a breath- No.

Vhee: -still laughing-

Hiei: _**SHUT UP AND DIE! **_-unsheathes sword-

Vhee: -abruptly stops- Don't you mean 'shut up _or_ die'?

Hiei: You can tell yourself that if it makes you feel better!

Vhee: But what about this lemon icey?

Hiei: I wish I had a drink.

Vhee: You better mean lemonade.

Hiei: Yeah, with vodka.

Vhee: You - Actually, that sounds pretty good.

Hiei: Hn.

From: **Kyrie Twilight**

"What is your favorite number?"

Hiei: 666.

Vhee: Why did I just laugh? That's horrible!

Hiei: And that's the most ridiculous question I've ever heard.

"Have you ever read/watched the Harry Potter series? What do you think of them?"

Hiei: -rude noise-

Vhee: DID YOU JUST - ?!

Hiei: What?

Vhee: OH - OH - OH MY F-KING GOD! **HIEI **_**FARTED!**_

Hiei: Oh, please.

Vhee: _**MY PERFECT, SEXY, HOT HIEI JUST FARTED LIKE A REGULAR, STINKY, STUPID MAN! **_

Hiei: I _am_ a man.

Vhee: _**THAT'S IT! I'M DUMPING YOU FOR KURAMA! KURAMA WOULD **__**NEVER **__**FART!**_

Hiei: He did at Thanksgiving. Remember?

Vhee:_** AAAAAAHHHHH - **_Huh? Oh, yeah...Yusuke wouldn't stop laughing. Kurama was so red! We took pictures...

**Dream: Such good memories. Thanks for all the comments, guys! Keep them up!**

Vhee: Hehe.

Hiei: -makes rude noise again-

**Dream** & Vhee: ...YOU _**NCMNSVJKHSDUGYIOREUTIORFJCDNMVBM!**_


	4. Jupiter's Moon

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH so sue me. Wait no don't do that! O.O

* * *

**Dream: Thanks so much for the lovely responses!**

Vhee: :)

Hiei: -_-

**Dream: I got nothing else to say...**

Vhee: We're usually funnier here...

Hiei: How's this? -sets his arm ablaze under the fire sprinkler-

**Dream** and Vhee: -soaked-

Hiei: That's funny.

**Dream: ...OH SHIT, MY COMP!**

Vhee: :O

Hiei: Now it's REALLY funny!

**Dream: AAAAAAAAAAAH! I'MMA KILL YOU, HIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIII!**

* * *

Heads or Tails

Chapter 4: Jupiter's Moon

X -x-x-x-x- X

I stood in the dark staring them down. All I had left was my secret power no one knew about. I didn't want to do this and was hoping I wouldn't have to, but now it was inevitable. I pulled out the hidden item in my pocket and shouted, "MAKE UP!"

A bright white light blinded the whole room as ribbons ran all over my legs and arms. My clothes turned to a cute top and mini skirt as my hair shone with jewels and I spun around. I stood in the room and pointed my new wand at the enemy and shouted, "SAILOR EUROPA!"

They gasped and jumped back in fright, for they were weak and pathetic now that they'd witnessed my transformation, and stopped beating up the old lady. I would protect her from these losers wait, what document am I on? (checks) OH F-CK! Wrong story! AGH! Apologies! (sweat-drop) Like I would do that in Hiei's body.

-runs through the whole scene again picturing Hiei-

-two hours of continuous laughter-

Oh, man. I needed that. Whew. Okay. Back to the real story.

So maybe if I piss myself and cry hysterically they might think Hiei's had a nervous breakdown and give me my own room and stuff and never bother me again! Yeah, and then a real Sailor Scout will fly outta my ass and SAVE US ALL WITH LOVE.

I could hear them getting closer. More and more, arguing about something. What was it? He put jelly in the peanut butter? Socks on the floor? Not enough food in the fridge? (God, Keiko get a grip.) Whatever, they were getting closer and Genkai was giving me the death glare. "I...I..." my knees knocked.

I really didn't wanna explain all of this with Yusuke here. I could just hear his laughter echoing in my head. Then Kuwabara would join in and the whole place would be rolling. Plus, would they even believe me? It was bad enough I had to explain being a human girl stuck inside Hiei, I had to explain that I was from a different world! And what kind of world? A world where they are fake drawings ON PAPER! In fact, they _still_ look like drawings on paper!

I panted and swallowed hard. Maybe if I kissed her ass she would leave me alone. "Genkai...I'll tell you but please don't make me do it in front of anybody. You're the only one I trust here." Her eyes widened and she looked me over. "Please? I promise I'll tell you everything. But _just you_."

It seemed to work because she finished her butt and put it out. "Fine. When they all settle down, we'll talk."

"Hey, Genkai - !" Yusuke called. He stopped when he saw me - well, Hiei - and stared at me. "Hiei? What are you doing here?

He was taller than I thought he was, compared to Hiei that is. I mean Kuwabara is a behemoth, but Yusuke was pretty tall too. The hair was all slicked back and looked shiny as metal. Big brown chocolate eyes...oh, he was so CUTE! All you girls that think Yusuke ain't cute are just plain ass dumb! He's REALLY CUTE! Such a little button nose and pouty lips, and I could practically see all those muscles beneath his tee shirt...Man, he was drawn GORGEOUS here. And that didn't happen often with Yusuke. Most of the time he looked like a chubby faced chibi anorexic kid. Here he looked like a handsome young man.

It was really Yusuke Urameshi...and Justin Cook is my favorite FUNimation voice actor BTW. I know, weird right? Yusuke is my fave voice and Hiei my fave char? It's true though and Yusuke is my 2nd fave char! Yes, I am a Yusuke fangirl. I just love him! AND HE WAS STANDING IN FRONT OF ME!

Apparently, all my fangirlness was showing on my face because he was giving me a look that said "What the f-ck, man?" so I looked away and scoffed.

"That is none of your concern." Haha! Hiei in character! And after all, that is what's important.

Hiei. In Character. Remember that, people.

Keiko looked like Keiko and I don't need to say much because I don't give a shit about Keiko.

I don't hate her, I just don't care. I ship Yusuke/Keiko, my OTP along with Kuwa/Yukina, I just don't care much about her. If she had died, I would've felt bad for Yusuke and that's about it.

Plus, she yells WAY too freaking much. Case in point; what I heard coming up the stairs.

Genkai chuckled. "Oh, so you got your memory back?"

I glared at her. "Hiei lost his memory?" Yusuke asked. I glared harder.

"Yes, for about ten minutes. How very strange..." she responded with a wicked gleam in her eye.

I huffed and walked away, only to run into Kuwabara who screeched like Tarzan (okay, not really but it was some God awful sound) and went to grab at Hiei's cloak.

I have had ENOUGH of people man handling me! In my world I may not have been able to fight back but I refuse to believe I can't here! THIS IS ANIME FOR GOD'S SAKE!

So I _pushed_ really HARD at the big stupid oaf and he _crashed_ into the wall. And the whole place went silent as I screamed at him. "STOP TOUCHING MEEE!" I tried and failed at a manly roar and instead it came out as a high pitched shrill._ I had no idea Chuck's voice could do that... _

Anyway, it seemed to do the trick cuz they were all looking like guppies outta water and I stomped off to the kitchen hearing Yusuke yell, "What the hell was that?!"

I was hungry dammit, and I marched over to the fridge. Nothing edible that I could see so I hit the freezer.

The heavens opened up and the choir started singing, halos shining. Staring me in the face was ice cream_._ I grabbed it and looked for a spoon, soon finding a drawer full of them. I popped open the tub and sat down on a bar stool at the counter. It was strawberry, not my fave, but whatever it was food I knew and could eat without gagging so I was happy.

So, I filled my spoon and took a bite. It was delicious! Like the BEST strawberry ice cream I've ever had. The flavors were so intense. It just _melted_ in my mouth and _flowed_ down my throat. "Ohh..." Hiei's voice moaned and then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I had just fulfilled a fanon fantasy; Hiei eating ice cream.

A smile crossed my face but quickly turned to a frown as I realized it was just regular old fatty me stuffing my face full of frozen lard. I sighed as I swallowed another bite. _Oh, well. At least I won't gain_ _anything!_ And I shoveled it in.

That was true. I could eat ANYTHING I wanted now. Pizza and tacos and cheese dip and mac 'n cheese and mashed potatoes and french fries and chicken and BBQ ribs and ranch on EVERYTHING and chocolate cake and ice cream and cookies and candy and PIE! YEAH! With whipped cream, baby.

An image of a fattened Hiei entered my mind but I doubted anything I did would ruin his metabolism. He was a demon, right? Yeah. That fixes everything.

As I was eating I heard the others come in and stop dead at seeing Hiei stuffing his face full of pink fluffy stuff. They all looked at each other as I had the spoon in my mouth and swallowed slowly.

"What are you eating?" Yusuke asked slowly.

"Ice cream," I responded, muffled by a full mouth.

Kuwabara sputtered. "Why are you eating ice cream after Yukina cooked us such a wonderful meal? Genkai says you got your memory back - I bet you never lost it! I bet you did all this just to get close to _my_ girlfriend! ADMIT IT!"

"Cool it, Kuwabara!" Yusuke yelled, holding him back. "I'm sure that's not it! Genkai said he had a brain injury!"

"Yeah, like we're all surprised about that?!" Kuwabara returned.

Wow. He just said another smart thing. The Kool-Aid guy was gonna bust through the wall and scream "OH YEAH! PREPARE TO DIE, BITCHES!" and kill us all in a wave of fruit punch.

"Calm down, Kazuma," Yukina's sweet voice cut through the chaos."He just wanted desert. I love ice cream. May I have some too?" I nodded slowly and she sat next to me with a spoon of her own. "Thank you. I love this stuff. It's like snow, only sweet."

I blinked. "Sweet snow?" She smiled at me (hehe, another fanon want accomplished.) and nodded as we ate together while the two boys looked on in awe.

"So... you scream at Kuwabara and stomp off to the kitchen to eat ice cream...somethin' ya wanna tell us, Hiei?" Yusuke snorted. Kuwabara was still fuming and muttering something about dwarfs and their need to rule the world.

Genkai gave me a hard look but walked away leaving us. I was left with Yukina and the two boys and now Keiko who came walking in. She saw we were mowing on ice cream and decided to join us.

So it was three girls eating ice cream except one was trapped in a dude nobody liked. Swell. She obviously chose to sit next to Yukina because perhaps Hiei made her a little nervous. I have no idea if she remembered what he did in ep 8 but I certainly wasn't gonna ask.

Like, "So Keiko remember when I totally ran you through with an evil sword and almost turned you into my zombie slave?"

"Oh, my yes. We should totally do it again sometime!"

"Totes." And then Yusuke and Kuwabara make out. PSYCHE! Just wanted to see if you were paying attention (evil laughter).

However I do believe both of the aforementioned teens lost some of their organ function as they beheld the two sweet girls eating ice cream with FREAKING HIEI. And I just plain didn't give a shit. I wanted my ice cream so I dipped my spoon right along with them.

"Ew, Keiko! You don't know what kinda germs Hiei has! Don't put your spoon in there with him!" Kuwabara whined (anyone getting tired of him yet? I know I am -.-).

Yukina blinked up at him. "Is that because he is a demon and not human?"

Have I mentioned Yukina is my favorite?

Kuwabara sputtered as Yusuke tried to control himself from guffawing all over the place. "N-No! Not at all! What I mean is, he isn't as clean as you both are!"

Yukina swallowed her bite slowly. "But you only said _Keiko_, Kazuma."

OMG, I love this girl!

"O-Oh, b-but I-I...I didn't mean...I wasn't..."

Time to have Hiei make him _crumble_. "Seems he just doesn't like our germs, Yukina. You best not ever kiss him or he might freak out and have to go to the hospital."

And there goes Yusuke. He held out longer than I thought he would.

Kuwabara was turning purple. "That is not true! I have no problem with your germs, Yukina! I love your germs! I love everything about you! I WANT YOUR GERMS ALL OVER ME!" Okay, he didn't say that last part in caps, but I felt he wanted to. I mean, he would've said _anything_ to get her to forgive him.

And being the brilliant, genius, AMAZING man trainer she was, Yukina simply smiled at him; that anime smile with the head tilted and eyes closed. "It's okay, Kazuma. I understand." And went about eating her ice cream. "But apologize to Hiei."

"What?"

"You heard me. Apologize to him. He has no germs. He's probably the healthiest person here."

I looked at Kuwabara and flashed a grin, seeing his nostrils flair and I swear steam came out of them. "Sorry, Hiei..." And I gave him an anime smile of my own.

"Aw, no problem, _Kazuma_." Chuck makes everything sound creepy, doesn't he? And I just went back to eating while both boys gawked at me.

Yusuke finally stopped laughing. "Damn, Hiei. When did you get a sense of humor?"

I scowled. Yusuke just hit a very big pet peeve of mine; People always assume Hiei has no sense of humor. HE DOES. "So tell me, what's it like floating in a constant haze of stupidity?" You gonna tell me that shit ain't funny? Or "I know I'm a small target, but this is sad." HELLO? There are so many one liners that he just whops out in YYH and I hate that people don't notice it!

Too busy drooling all over Kurama, huh? "ZOMG SHE SAID HIS NAME! Is he coming?! IS HE?!" Ugh.

"I've always had a sense of humor, Yusuke. You've just been too dense to notice it. Why don't you go play some more mind draining _video games?_"

Yusuke frowned at me. "Damn, take a pill or something," and walked off with Kuwabara following.

"You have quite the fanclub today," Keiko mused as she took another bite. Ya know, I did have to give it to the girl; if I was her I dunno if I'd be so willing to share spit with two demons. I mean...come on...Yeah, yeah. Don't flame me with racist bullshit. Y'all were thinkin' it too.

We finished quickly and Keiko announced that she was just checking on Genkai. She and Yukina started yacking about stuff that had nothing to do with me, or Hiei, so I slipped away to a small bedroom. All that was in there was a single twin bed and a small drawer. Perhaps it was just a guest bedroom?

Now that I think of it, I had no idea how many bedrooms there were in the temple. People usually write it with enough for the whole cast plus an OC magically.

I sat on the bed and heaved a long sigh. Any minute Genkai was gonna come in and drill me. I had no idea what I was gonna say. This was like a nightmare that wouldn't end. I mean, it was pretty cool making Kuwabara squirm and Yusuke laugh, but it was short lived. It was all gonna come tumbling down and I didn't even get to enjoy anything! I could've done so much cool stuff!

"Yusuke what product do you use in your hair? I simply must have some."

"Kuwabara, did you know that ice apparitions are lesbians?"

"You two have a serious bromance up in here. Ever think of goin' all the way?"

That would've really messed with them, but what I really wanted to do was eat at Yusuke's ramen stand...although that was in the OVA's...did that count here? And when was I anyway? It was after the series but how long after? This was so confusing and now I would never get to know cuz Genkai was totally gonna pound me into the wall and butter her bread with my remains.

And then the door opened and she came strolling in, closing it behind her. I looked at the floor and pulled myself up on the bed indian style with my hands in my lap. Hiei's bandages were fun to distract myself with and I kinda pulled on the frayed edge of his right finger.

"So...who are you?"

I swallowed. "I just wanna start and say this really is Hiei's body. I dunno how to prove that but -"

"I know," she interrupted. "I can sense...certain things. I want to know how your spirit got inside him."

I pulled on the bandage again. "I really don't know...I can tell you what happened though."

She crossed her arms. "Then do it. I'm a very old woman and could croak any minute. Do you really think I have time for this crap?"

I snickered a little. She was so funny. I didn't look up at her and just started telling the story as best I could. I told her I was just driving to work when this guy with yellow eyes stole my car and beat me up and then attacked the cops and...I stopped. What do I tell her about what I was thinking? I decided to leave that part out and just pretend to be some innocent human that had no idea, which wasn't a total lie cuz I had no idea how I ended up here but I did _know_ things about this world and the people in it...

Anyone else's brain hurt right now?

I finished my tale and looked up. Her arms had uncrossed and she gave me a once over with her eyes. "So...describe these items." I told her what they looked like the best I could and she nodded. "I have one more question for you." I blinked. "How do you know the people here?"

I balked. "Huh?"

"You know Hiei's name, and everyone else's name here. You can even put on a fake Hiei act. How is that possible if you don't know how you got here?"

Oh, SHIT! I totally forgot about that! Here I had been pretending to be Hiei and saying all their names but she was right! How would I know any of that if I was just an innocent human girl that got trapped by accident?!

But I am an innocent human girl that got trapped by accident! DO YOU PEOPLE THINK I REALLY WANNA BE TRAPPED INSIDE A DEMON DUDE?! NO WAY!

But now Genkai knows that I know something that I shouldn't know because I'm an idiot! WTF WAS I THINKING?!

Hmm...I really thought that random asshole would show up by now...I guess not.

Anyway, I decided to try to use my brain for something other than playing music in my mind all the time, and formulate the only answer I could after stammering for two minutes. "I...I kinda have access to his memories..." Her eyes widened at that. "Like, not all of them. Just certain things. Like who all of you are and stuff. I just know things when I see them. Like Kuwabara is an idiot." She smirked. "And Yukina...well...yeah..." and I looked down.

Genkai came over to me and lifted my head up. "This must be hard for you, but you're taking it really well."

I deadpanned. "Going pee is a bitch. Especially in the _morning_."

She chuckled at that and shook her head. "I see. Well, first we need to figure out what happened and why. I think I need to contact Koenma. You know him."

"Yeah," I sniped. _That was the name that started this shit..._ "Wait, are you gonna tell everyone? Oh, please don't! I don't want them laughing at me - er, Hiei...er, me...either of us!"

She raised an eyebrow. "It might take a while to find the answers. Think you can fake Hiei for that long?"

"I can try."

She shook her head. "I doubt that. At any case, this reeks of Spirit World so I do need to tell him. And I need to take care of something else...Stay here," she ordered and left me there for a minute.

Well, that went well. She believed me! And she didn't kill me! If I could just continue to fake Hiei, as she put it, then I wouldn't have to worry. Maybe Koenma could help me after all. He was the start of all this, so maybe I would finally get some answers.

She came back in holding the bandanna and I just realized she had taken it. Hiei had been bandanna-less for all this time! EEK! She told me to put it on and I did with her help soon feeling a buzz enter my head and knock me back. "Wha..."

"There is a talisman on that cloth now. I can't risk the Jagan doing something on its own. Also..." and she grabbed my right arm and slapped it causing me to receive a sharp pain that felt like burning ice travel up my arm and into my neck. I screamed but she clamped her hand over my mouth and muffled it. "Shut it! They'll know something's wrong if they hear you scream. Unless you just want them to know, then by all means, scream away."

I stopped and got my breathing back, sitting up still feeling like my arm was on fire. "What the f-ck was that?!" I made his voice squeak.

She chuckled. "Heh. That was another talisman. I can't have the dragon getting any ideas either."

I gasped. "The...dragon...?"

"Do you know what that is?"

"Uh...his most powerful attack?"

She chuckled again. "No. Another entity trapped inside his body." My eyes widened. "Apparently you don't know everything. I believe this is a spirit switch. Human and Demon energies come from the soul. So you have no spirit energy that I can sense. That was my first clue. However, the dragon is another energy that Hiei trapped inside of him; in his arm. It's fused to his_ body_ not his soul. Get my meaning?"

I thought about it, my eyes traveling to his arm. "I...could activate the dragon?"

She nodded. "You already did when you gave Kuwabara and Yukina a hot shower."

I gasped. That was...my - er, HIS RIGHT HAND! It happened when I got angry and ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...I did that with the dragon?

OMG OMG OMG THIS WAS SO COOL! I ACTIVATED THE DRAGON! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

"You find that amusing?"

-needle scratch-

Oh, I guess I had been smiling cuz she asked me that. Oops. "Uh...I smile when I'm nervous." Not a lie.

"Uh huh. Anyway, those talismans are invisible and only I can remove them. You better hope I don't die soon 'cause then you'll be screwed. Or I guess Hiei will be..." I gulped. "You are free to stay here. I'll go get Koenma." She turned to leave and paused. "Oh. I didn't ask your name."

"Oh. Oh, yeah. Sorry. It's..." Wait. I just realized. I never told y'all my name! All this time and I never said it! (checks chap one) nope! And that is like the main rule! OH MAN. Well, now you'll know cuz it's "...Victoria." Yup. "But you can call me Vhee."

Her face contorted. "Vheeee?"

"Yeah. See, I hate Vicky ever since I saw the Fairly Oddparents say 'you can't have Vicky without Icky' and Tori just ain't me so I picked a new nickname all my own. Vhee." She blinked a few times. "But I spell it differently."

"Okay. Well, nice to meet you then, _Victoria_," she emphasized. She didn't like my nickname...(pout) "I'll go talk to the prince. You just try not to do something stupid. I recommend you stay in this room."

She closed the door and I sighed. Again sorry I didn't tell you guys my name. Y'all can call me Vhee too. And it must be spelled just that way cuz I am OCD and will accept no less.

Some guy: You already told people your name in the A/Ns.

Vhee: ...

Some guy: And in skits like these. And didn't your summary used to say it too? You already told them your name.

Vhee: -_- ...Who the hell are you?

Some guy: Uh...

Random asshole: You should leave before she sucks you into the dark abyss. That thing is a bitch to get out of.

Some guy & Random asshole: -walk off together-

Vhee: Ugh.

I laid down on the bed and relaxed. It would probably be a while before I would have to deal with AHHHHHHHHHH WHAT THE FLAMING F-CK?!

A huge portal appeared in my room and blasted me against the wall, slamming me so hard I broke the plaster. Then OH WHAT WAS THE DEAL WITH ALL THE FRIGGEN SMOKE?! WHAT IS THIS A GREATFUL DEAD CONCERT?!

-rim shot-

(Seriously, cheers to anyone old enough to know what that joke meant XD)

I coughed and looked up to see both Koenma and Botan in my room. Then Genkai came back in and shut the door. "Nice one. You cracked my paint."

Koenma cleared his throat. "I came because I think this has to do with a very important case we've been working on. This...woman as she claims is the only witness to these items being used. And I must know every detail. Now. Start from the beginning. Botan, write this down."

She nodded and took out a small notepad, eying me suspiciously.

I looked at all three and groaned. "Oh, man...I feel like I'm in a really bad cosplay performance."

~TBC

* * *

**A/N: Heyo! Europa is one of Jupiter's moons and I'd like to thank **dragonfly-rising** for looking up all that Sailor Moon crap and finding me a name! Sorry for the slight wait and short length but Mr. Writer's Block came to visit and killed all my plot bunnies. It was awful. He was short and all dressed in black and had something sharp...**

Hiei: -cough-

Vhee: -standing outside numerous shallow graves- WHYYYYYYYYYYY?!

**Dream: Don't cry, hun. I got new bunnies! -holds out a basket full of little white fluff balls with big blue shining anime eyes-**

Vhee: -gasp- OH! BUNNIES! -picks them up and huggles them-

Bunnies: -all pee on her-

Vhee: Oh...bunnies...

Hiei: Ha.

**Dream: Now we just need to feed them fresh souls - er, lettuce. Yes. Nice crispy lettuce.**

Vhee: O.O

**Dream: Don't judge me! Where else do you think I get my inspiration? Think I just pull it outta my butt?**

Vhee: It does smell pretty bad.

**Dream: Yeah, I know. I need to get that fixed.**

Hiei: What the hell are you talking about?!

Vhee: I...don't really know.

**Dream: Well, let's have more nonsense to fill in the gap, shall we?**

**Q&AWH Chap 8:**

From: **Shezka Foxe**

"Vhee, honestly, can you bring Kurama in? I think we could all do with some more intelligent conversation, because Hiei is becoming docile now. Sort of like a big, fat cow following you around mooing for icecream."

Vhee: Um, no. This is Q&A With Hiei, not Q&A with Hiei, and whoever else I think of...And that kinda insulted me...Did it insult you, Hiei?

Hiei: Moo.

Vhee: Ok, then...

From: **Jena**

"What do you do in your spare when you're not fighting anyone?"

Hiei: My spare _time_? Well, I volunteer at the Civic Center, and of course I help out at the local church. On the holidays, I feed food to the needy. I also work at the Retirement Home taking cute little puppies to worthless old people.

Vhee: My stomach hurts...too much...laughing...

"Vhee, can't you at least cut Hiei some slack? I mean you drag him into this and he hates it, but your story is pretty good. This is all I'll ask you and You'll never hear from me again. Peace out"

Hiei: Well, that's one less.

Vhee: -thinks about when she first saw Hiei, and all the episodes she loves with him, and every time he made her smile in the series, and just how much she loved him- Oh, Hiei, I'm sorry. -gently hugs Hiei's shoulders-

Hiei: -raises Spirit Energy-

Vhee: OW! You burned me!

Hiei: Touch me again, and I'll incinerate you.

Vhee: -pokes Hiei- I'm still here.

Hiei: ...

Vhee: -poke, poke, poke-

Hiei: -grabs Vhee's finger- Would you like one less digit?

Vhee:Uh -

Hiei: -bends it back-

Vhee: OWOWOW! NO!

Hiei: Weakling. -lets go-

Vhee: -blows on finger- You're so hot!

Hiei: I almost broke your finger and you still think I'm hot?

Vhee: Body temperature.

Hiei: Oh. Yes. 99 degrees, I believe.

Vhee: Huh. Well, next...I need some ice..

From: **Chaseha-Wing**

"Why not be with your hair? Face it Hiei u have a nice look to you, and it's quite interesting. I'm surprized u don't get asked more about your hair. Now is there anything else I should ask? Hmm...hmm...what are the oceans like in the Makai? I will never be able to see them, so I'm curiouse if they look like our oceans, or are different somehow? So what are they like?"

Hiei: Some are the same, but there are many that are different colors and consistency's. Some are red, some are green or purple. And some are like a giant pond of goo. The animals in them make your killer sharks look like house pets.

Vhee: So, I take it skinny dipping is out of the question in the Makai?

Hiei: Unless you want crap in your ass and to be eaten slowly. And "Why not be with your hair?" That is the best question that has been asked here.

Vhee: I actually agree. Next!

From: **Black Belt**

"Are there any phsical attributes that you find yourself more attracted to then others? Blondes, brunettes-blue eyes, green eyes- -tall short?I know you said you want someone with at least some strong hips so they can 'survive' (damn it-this is making me blush) but is there anything else that you will lean more towards?"

Hiei: Big flopping breasts.

Vhee: I need an antacid.

Hiei: Fool. I don't care.

"While it might not be as great as the Makai-and while you might not be the biggest traveler; is there any place within the human world where you would like to go to? (England, China, America, etc) And if there is a place-why there?"

Hiei: Ireland. They have green grass, clear air, and lots of trees. And more apparitions than any other human country.

Vhee: Some shit happens in Ireland.

"What is it you like to talk about?"

Hiei: My feelings.

"Most everyone has guilty pleasures-is yours just ice-cream or is there more?"

Hiei: Sex is better than ice-cream.

Vhee: ...I need to change this to M.

Hiei: BAN HER.

From: **auraclaritykat**

"HEY I AM NOT AN IGNORAMUS HIEI YOU MEANIE STINKY DOODOO FACE NYU!"

Hiei: Meanie stinky doodoo face? What are you, five? I was calling Vhee an ignoramus but I'm glad you got that out of your system.

"Anyway...hm lets see...what do you think would be your favorite method of torture...nyu

using psycic powers to cut blood dlow to the brain and turn the victim inside out but they dont die and leave em like that for a few minutes nyu or...well get creative shimp nyuu"

Hiei: Sure.

Vhee: And the other stuff.

Hiei: Shimp.

Vhee: Typos rock.

**Dream: Ahhh...that makes my document longer now, doesn't it?**

Hiei: Now I see; this was all just a clever ruse to repost that ridiculous Q&A wasn't it?

Vhee: Hehe...

**Dream: Not at all. -looks innocent-**

Hiei: Come here little bunny rabbits...


	5. Everybody wang chung tonight

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH

* * *

**Dream: Well, I managed to save one little bunny from Hiei's wrath.**

Vhee: -pout-

Hiei: My sword got dull.

**Dream: But for some strange reason this one only wants me to write yaoi**.

Vhee: Yaoi?

**Dream: Particularly Hieibara.**

Hiei: -eyes widen-

Vhee: Oh my.

**Dream: Like I would do that. If I_ had_ to write any yaoi pairing it would be Hiei/Yu - **

Hiei: -stops sharpening blade-

Vhee: O.O

Hiei: There are only two individuals with names that start with those two letters and neither are acceptable. -Jagan glows-

**Dream: ...Hiei/Yugi, from Yu-Gi-Oh. That's right; I dig crossovers.**

Vhee: Really old crossovers, apparently.

**Dream: Eh, they're both short. Anyway, this little guy doesn't need soul - er, lettuce. He eats yaoi mangas. Hardcore x-rated manga.**

Vhee: Can't believe I had to buy these! The looks I got!

Hiei: I blogged pics on tumblr.

**Dream: Thank you, dear. -feeds them to bunny-**

Bunny: NOM NOM.

**Dream: -pats his head- I shall call you Steve.**

Vhee: Steve? Now that's from YGOTAS!

**Dream: Obey my rod, baby.**

Hiei: Maybe I shouldn't have killed that holy man...

* * *

Heads or Tails

Chapter 5: Everybody wang chung tonight

X -x-x-x-x- X

Hello there! Botan here; number one pilot of the River Styx and quite frankly the best reaper Spirit World has ever had! I'm following up on a case that we've been working on really hard and now we've hit the first real lead! This is so exciting! We've been trying to solve cases without Spirit Detectives but it's been difficult. But now we have a witness! And we're going to question them just like real detectives!

Soul switching is extremely rare so when it does happen it always peaks our interests, and especially now with this new case. According to Genkai, Hiei was switched with a human female of all things! But how can that be? Genkai said something was off about this girl anyway...like she was hiding something... I better be on my guard then! I have my trusty notepad to write down all she says - oh, I wish I had taken my tape recorder but Koenma just grabbed me and threw me in the portal. He's always grabbing me! Ever since he made that teenage form more permanent he certainly has changed...

Anyhoo, this was really weird. I was trying to look intimidating but the more I stared at Hiei's face the more strange it became. Hiei never looked like this. He was always mad and scowling about something but now his eyebrows were up and his eyes were wide. He looked more...innocent than he usually did and...younger even. He almost looked cute like this...

Vhee: WHAT THE F-CK ARE YOU DOING?!

Botan: WAAAH! I'm sorry, you were late and I just thought I would fill in the time for you!

Vhee: This is MY story! I'M the narrator, not YOU! Like anyone wants to hear YOU narrate this!

Botan: -wells up and blubbers, spilling huge anime tears-

Vhee: Oh...okay...I'm sorry...I didn't mean that. People really like you! Honest! Like, you've been paired with the whole cast practically.

Botan: -stops wailing abruptly- Huh? What did you say?

Vhee: Yeah, you've screwed all the boys. And a few of the girls.

Botan: -blood drains-

Vhee: Yeah, Yusuke, Kurama _and_ Yoko, Hiei, Koenma, Keiko, Yukina...I bet if I look hard enough I would find Botanbara...

Botan: -turns purple-

Vhee: You really are the most sought after female. Probably cuz you give people Sailor Moon feels and we all know how well SHE gets around.

Botan: I need to use the restroom...

Vhee: Now that that's settled, where were we? Oh, yes. I'm being grilled like a fish.

Koenma was glaring down at me which would've been intimidating if he wasn't sucking a BINKY. I could see past that ridiculous thing to see the guy was freaking GORGEOUS. Honestly, probably the best looking guy in the series and that's saying a lot. Koenma is totally my type. But that being said, he's kinda a jerk and a really mean and terrible person. And immature. And oh yeah, that baby form. He's a baby. Ew.

Botan was really pretty and thank God she fixed her hair from that _disastrous_ final episode. Seriously, she's hundreds if not thousands of years old and she just decides to change her hair one day out of nowhere? To something hideous? They all looked hideous. From the hair to the clothes. It was awful.

Back to Botan. Still wearing that kimono and the detail on it was beautiful. The colors were laughable though. Like the Easter Bunny threw up. I trailed up her body to her eyes and she immediately stilled and her cheeks flushed.

Oh f-ck; I just checked her out. (/facepalm) And what was that? A blush? Oh, ho ho, Botan.

Yes, I ship Hiei/Botan but I don't really think it would work in the long run. Perhaps just a few rolls here and there but nothing solid. I doubt Botan would work with anyone really. Isn't she like...dead and stuff? Oh, yes let me f-ck a corpse, no better yet; THE FREAKING GRIM REAPER (Of course everyone wants to do that in the Sims 2 and I'm still trying to figure that one out).

Kurama/Botan would be the MOST BORING PAIRING EVER. Can't you just see them sitting and being quiet and reading and doing nothing in their perfect little house with the white picket fence and cute little doggie in the yard and eight hundred rose bushes growing and then a bee stings me in the eye cuz at least THAT would be entertaining somehow?

Koenma/Botan wouldn't work on SO many levels. First, he's a baby. The end.

I doubt anyone would dare put her with Kuwabara but hey, who am I to squelch creativity? He used to like her and all. But it would be _really_ OOC for him to forget Yukina.

AND YUSUKE IS WITH KEIKO! I know I kinda bashed her last chap but I hate disregarding canon.

And the yuri pairings. Oh man, I think Botan would drive Shizuru crazy and end up dead again somehow, Keiko wouldn't be able to handle it, and Botan would end up maimed if she touched Yukina.

Guess she can't be paired with anyone. Poor Botan...but she might get secks from Hiei and Kurama. Just sayin'.

I looked over at Genkai who was giving me an unreadable look. Something between "I'm watching you for any bullshit" and "Dammit, I need a bowel movement." In other words; she looked pissed.

I sighed and hung my head, beginning my tale yet AGAIN. I was starting to wonder how many times would I have to tell this crap while I was here. I told how I was just driving to work and the guy attacked me and beat me up and I found the items and fell on them.

Random asshole: You already went through this in the last chap.

Vhee: Was wondering when you would show up. I kinda missed ya.

Asshole: Really?

Vhee: No, not really. -snaps fingers and an ice cream truck falls on him- I'm running out of ideas to kill him with. But hey, free ice cream. -noms-

Botan wrote down all that I said rather furiously, and Koenma just nodded and sucked the whole time. "I see...describe these items..." And I did AGAIN and he just kept nodding and sucking. I really wanted to pull that damn thing outta his mouth. (We all know he'd be good at foreplay though, right? I AIN'T THE FIRST TO THINK IT)

"Well, I think we have all we need for now. I will return with some more information soon. Botan, you stay here with..._her._" He glowered at me and snapped his fingers, another portal appearing in the room. Botan's hair flailed all around as she braced against the force and Genkai just stood unphased. He walked through it and soon the thing was gone.

Botan blinked a few times. "Oh, my. Uhm..."

-insert awkward silence and cricket chirps-

I cleared my throat and Botan tapped her toe a little on the floor. "You're really just a human girl in there, huh?"

"No, I'm faking to totally humiliate myself for no particular reason," I snapped. _Hmm, maybe being in Hiei's body was influencing me..._

"Well, _excuse_ me! I was just making sure... But it must be so hard. I mean, I have no idea what it would be like to be trapped in a man but for that man to be _Hiei_ of all people, it must be horrid!"

"Horrid? What do you mean?"

"Well...it's Hiei. If you knew him you would know what I mean."

Genkai snorted. "None of the guys would be good choices to get trapped in...except maybe Kurama. That would probably be an easy transition."

Botan giggled and I laughed, making the reaper gasp and stare at me. "Oh my, that is so strange! I've never seen Hiei laugh before and oh, that's so weird!"

I chuckled. "I made him sneeze once too. So cute."

She gasped again. "Reeeeaaaalllly? Wow...and what else can you do?"

"Huh? What do you mean? Genkai took his powers away..." and I glared at the old bat.

Botan shook her head. "No, no, no. I mean can you make him look happy or sad or...normal even?"

I thought about it. "Uhh...okay." And I grinned really big causing Botan to fall over laughing. "Omigawd, Ilove your hair, girlfriend!" She was howling with amusement and I heard Genkai sputter and then she left quickly. "Who do you think is the cutest? Hmm? Yusuke or Kurama?" I fell over on the bed laughing my ass off at Chuck's voice doing this crap all the while imagining Hiei.

And then the door swung open revealing Yusuke and Kuwabara. "What the HELL is goin' on in here?" the ex detective demanded.

Botan panted, standing up and straightening her kimono.

You know what; f-ck it. They were all gonna find out anyway. Might as well have some fun. "Foreplay. What does it look like?" I grinned and all three went pale. "Rather easy with the Jagan. I can make her _feel_ things."

Botan snapped to reality and stomped her foot. "That is not true, missy! You stop that right now!"

"Aw baby, don't be like that. I'm not ashamed of our _love_."

Kuwabara went green. "Uh, what?!"

Yusuke pointed. "You and Hiei?!"

The girl was trippin' now. "NO! I would NEVER! I...Young lady, you fix this right now!"

Kuwabara gagged. "They have pet names, Urameshi...that's so gross! He's so small and ugly!"

I chuckled wickedly. "Well, I make up for my height with earth shattering mental orgasms."

And then Botan grabbed me. "You stop that right this instant or I swear I will slap you silly!"

I blinked innocently. "But I thought we agreed we wouldn't do that in front of the others."

That comment made all three of them scream. Cue Genkai to come back in and bash both of the guys' heads and mine, leaving Botan alone. "SHUT UP! My migraine just kicked in."

Yusuke groaned. "So what, you make all of us have one too?"

Genkai smirked. "Pretty much."

"_I_ didn't deserve that!" I whined, holding Hiei's throbbing head (holy shit look at that sentence).

Genkai scoffed. "Yes, you did! I told you to be quiet about this and you didn't. So now whatever they find out is on you."

Kuwabara's eyes went wide. "Oh, God...You aren't sleeping with Hiei too, are you?! OR BOTAN?!" And she flattened him to the floor.

Genkai/Botan. Huh, there's one for the books.

I sighed and laid down, facing the wall. "No getting out of it now, chicken-shit," Genkai scolded and came over to the bed.

And the scene Yusuke and Kuwabara witnessed was the old lady pulling Hiei by his hair and him screaming, "OWOWOWOWOWOW! STOOOP!" I pouted at her as Hiei's head throbbed again (really?) and yelled, "You really are a hag!"

And the two boys looked like this; O.o

"Well, you deserved it for picking on Botan." She nodded at the reaper and crossed her arms. "Now, why don't you explain to the boys here why you're acting so strange."

I sneered at her. "_You_ do it. You are _so_ much better with tact than I am."

Genkai glared at me but then shrugged. "Fine. Hiei's soul got swapped with a little human bitch. Have fun with that." And she walked off.

It went silent again as the two oh so intelligent teens tried to figure out what that meant. "I get it!" Kuwabara finally chimed. "It's a pun or something."

"How the hell is that a pun?" Yusuke scolded him. "With Genkai everything is literal." And he tapped his chin in thought (so damn cute, man). "Huh...'Hiei's soul got swapped with a little human bitch...' Holy crap." And he looked at me. "You're not Hiei."

I blinked morosely. "No shit, Sherlock."

"A little human...er, uh...girl?" Kuwabara looked at Botan, sweat forming on his brow.

She nodded. "Yes, a very dirty, nasty little girl!" And she scowled at me.

"Wait, wait, wait." Yusuke waved his hands. "There's a chick inside Hiei's body?" Kuwabara paled but Yusuke grinned. "Oh..." And here it came; the slight shoulder shaking that morphed into a trembling torso and bobbing head. "That...is the richest thing I've ever heard! All this time I was thinking, 'Hiei's acting like a PMSing woman!' I guess I was right!" Never thought I'd see someone actually rotflol but Yusuke did just that.

Kuwabara started snickering. "There isn't much difference anyway!"

And they lawled together.

I sighed and hung my head as Botan joined in as well. "It _is _awful funny!"

Ever have that dream where you enter the classroom in your underwear and they all laugh Carrie style at you? That's kinda how this felt. I swear, they looked demented with fangs in their mouths roaring with hysteria.

"Damn that old fart for taking away Hiei's powers..." I muttered as the raucous display continued.

Yusuke finally stopped and wiped his eye. "Wait, wait, wait..." And he came over to me with a devious glint in his eyes. "Have you gone pee yet?" he finished snickering.

Kuwabara gasped, "Omigawd..." And he looked down _somewhere_ and I shifted on the bed indian style again.

I sighed as Yusuke tried to hold back more hysterical laughter. "Like...is he...in proportion?"

Kuwabara held his head. "Urameshi! I don't wanna know that! And you don't ask her that!"

Yusuke frowned. "Why? 'Cause she's a girl?"

He huffed. "Yeah."

Yusuke rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. Did you see how she picked on Botan? She can handle herself."

"That's different! Botan's a girl and..._she's_ a girl. They can fight all they want. But when you insult her then that's different."

"So let me get this straight, it's okay for her to pick on me because we're both women but if Yusuke picks on her, that's wrong," Botan stated calmly.

Kuwabara thought about it. "Uhh...yeah!"

Botan growled. "That is the most sexist thing I have ever heard!"

Yusuke facepalmed. "Oh God, why does every conversation have to turn sexist? And I wasn't picking on _her!_ I was just asking if Hiei was as small as I think he is!"

Unfortunately, Yusuke may be right. Short people very rarely have big packages. Hiei, being the height he is (even the manga 5ft2 at the end), would be maybe 5 and a quarter inches WHICH IS AVERAGE BTW. So all you fangirls writing Hiei with this giant shlong are most likely wrong.

But then again we can all use the "he ain't human" theory so who gives a shit.

That being said, Kuwabara must be_ well built_ because look how huge he is...like everywhere.

Again; best BF ever.

Botan was turning red at this conversation and began scolding them. "That's enough! I'm sure she doesn't know!" A pause and she looked at me. "Do you?"

My eyes widened. "Why? You really wanna slap him or something?"

Cue more hysterical laughter as Yusuke hit the floor again and Botan went technicolor. _I had no idea someone could turn that many shades at once...oh right; it's f-cking anime._

"I most certainly do not!" she screeched. "I don't want to slap anyone ever!" The two teens were turning blue as they gasped for life. "Oh, what I meant is I don't want to be romantically involved with anyone! I'm a ferry woman for heavens sake!"

I grinned horribly. "Not even Kurama?" She went white. "Oh, my. I wonder...if I was trapped in his body would you want me to drop trou?" That made Yusuke howl even louder and I even heard Kuwabara sputter as she went red and clenched her fists. I finally joined in cuz this shit was funny.

"You horrid girl! I bet you're some sort of spy or something sent here to...spy on us! You must be evil! You two stop laughing and do something about this!" She pointed to them and they ignored her.

When he got breath in his lungs again, Yusuke stood up on shaky legs. "Botan, I doubt she's a spy. Diaper face would've said something." He looked at me. "I have no idea who you are, but you're damn funny." I smiled. _Yusuke thinks I'm funny..._

"Ew Urameshi, you made Hiei blush. That's just gross," Kuwabara groaned.

Yusuke chuckled and held out his hand. "Well, you already know I'm Yusuke. What's your name?"

I gingerly reached out and shook his extended hand. Thankfully he'd held out his left so I could shake with my left which was unbandaged. And I say thankfully cuz that meant I could _feel_ _Yusuke Urameshi's hand._

When I thought of all the power he held coupled with the fact that if he wanted, he could kill me rather quickly mixed with how soft he was touching me, I knew I was right in loving him second. _All the people he's slammed this fist into and right now he really is as gentle as a lamb..._

I pulled away dumbly and looked down, probably still making Hiei blush like an idiot (yaoi moment, anyone?). "Uhm...my name is...Victoria..."

Botan blinked. "That is...an American name, right?" I nodded. "How odd..."

Yusuke smiled. "American, huh? Cool. Nice to meet ya then, Victoria."

I grimaced. "Ugh, um. Yeah, you can call me Vhee." And they all looked at me funny.

"Vhee?" Yusuke strained, uncomfortable with the sound.

I sighed. "Yeah, see, I hate Vicky ever since I heard the Fairly Oddparents say you can't have 'Vicky without Icky' and Tori just ain't me so I picked my own name (this is the explanation I always give). Vhee. But I spell it differently. V. H. E. E.." And they gave me strange looks again. "Well, see I can't spell it V.I., cuz that's a roman numeral and V.E.E. looks dumb so I added the H to make it more pretty. It looks good on paper and you'd have to be an idiot to not know how to pronounce it when you read it."

It went silent as they all exchanged glances. "Well...I like it. Nice to meet ya, Vhee," Yusuke finally said and I'm sure Hiei's cheeks went red again as I heard Justin Cook _say my name_...

* * *

Botan got called back to Spirit World diaper duty so she left.

We ventured out to the living room, and I was immediately barraged with a million questions. "Do you know where the shrimp is?" Kuwabara asked and I shook my head.

Then more questions about America, more questions about Hiei's _sword _from Yusuke and a few about what's it like being a demon from Keiko, who when she was told about this just blinked and said "Uh...okay."

"Why haven't you asked me that? Or Kurama?" Yusuke asked her after she asked me.

"Because it would be weird. She'll tell me straight up without dancing around the issue, ignoring me, or telling me a bunch of lies. So..." and she looked at me. "...how is it?"

I thought about it. "Well...uh...things smell more." They all blinked. "Yeah, like I really love your shampoo, Keiko and Yukina smells nice too. Yusuke...cut back on the hair product and Kuwabara, you need to cut back on the cologne. That's it really except all the trees and stuff outside. And the...wood of the temple. Food tastes more too."

Yusuke nodded. "Yeah, I noticed that stuff too. Which reminds me; I brought some food up. You guys want some?"

I perked up. Oh, just what I wanted; Yusuke's cooking! This was the greatest thing ever! I nodded and Kuwabara ruined my happy moment like he always does in the show and spoke. "You already ate. Yukina cooked for us remember?"

Yusuke groaned. "Oh, Yukina did, huh? Yeah, okay. I bet Vhee wants something else, right kid?" I knew I was older than him but I could care less. He was already giving me nicknames eeeeeeee...

Kuwabara stood up. "What is that supposed to mean, Urameshi? Yukina's cooking is amazing!"

"Yeah, amazingly horrible. Honestly, how long do you plan to keep that crap up?" Genkai followed and sipped her tea.

He fumed back at her. "It really is amazing! How can you say something like that? I love her food."

I smiled. "No, you just love her, which is really sweet."

He looked at me. "Ewww, yeah don't say stuff like that. It's mega gross coming from Hiei's mouth."

I frowned. "Fine you jerk, keep stuffing your mouth full of over-spiced charcoal while I eat Yusuke's cooking. Do I sound more like Hiei now?"

Yusuke sputtered and laughed again, falling back a little. "That's more like it, hehe, but Hiei would say 'fool' not 'jerk'. Alright, anything you want? I can make mostly everything."

Keiko sighed. "Ego much?"

I looked at him up from under my lashes. "Oh, anything you want to make, Yusuke..."

Oh UGH I was flirting with Yusuke in HIEI'S BODY! First, he's with Keiko and second I'M IN HIEI'S BODY! UGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH.

None of them seemed to notice, thank God but probably cuz they're all kinda dense like that, so I just looked away and stayed silent.

"Alright...I'll come up with somethin' cool." And he went to the kitchen with most of the gang following. I was left with only Genkai.

"You don't want to join them?" she asked. I shook my head. "Why not? They haven't strung your ass up yet." I chuckled and played with Hiei's bandage again. "Quit doing that. I doubt anyone is gonna fix those if you unravel them."

Yukina came back from doing whatever chore she was doing and looked around. "Where is everyone?"

Genkai stood up with her tea. "In the kitchen. Yusuke's making dinner."

Yukina didn't seem hurt at all and just smiled and nodded. "Alright." She turned to me. "I know my cooking is awful no matter what Kazuma says, but I try to improve."

I smiled at her. She really was a wonderful girl. "Yeah, I'm sorry I lied to you." And her eyes widened before she quickly shook her head. _Oh f-ck I just said that to her with Hiei's face and voice._.._Yep, she totally knows._

"Uh...oh. It's okay. I understand. What could you say? I'm actually a woman? That would not have gone well." And we chuckled lightly.

"Yeah...this sucks..."

She sat down next to me. "Do...you know what happened to Hiei?"

"No...I'm worried..." I realized I just said that and corrected myself. "Uh, I mean I feel like this is all my fault and I just hope he's okay..."

She nodded. "Me too..."

And then Kurama came walking in.

No, I'm serious. Just came waltzing right on in with no warning whatsoever. I didn't even sense him which I guess is how he is. But now I knew where that _smell _was coming from. Seriously, it was like walking into the garden section of a hardware store!

I blinked as I looked up at him and my mouth fell open.

Now all y'all screaming "Oh, here comes the fangirl moment!" please remember who I am looking at here.

IT'S. FREAKING. **KURAMA.**

Oh, just oh. Yusuke who? F-ck that; _Hiei_ who? This man was the epitome of beautiful. Long red hair and dazzling emerald green eyes... Kurama was always drawn the best out of all of them but in this world he was truly in his element. I don't know how this world exists or who drew it or even if it's real but truly whoever you are; WELL F-CKING DONE!

_Oh, God it's Kurama...oh God...oh God...OMG OMG OMG OMG KURAMAKURAMAKURAMA. OH** GOD!**_

"Are you okay?" Yukina cut through my inner hysteria and I shook my head and looked down from the adonis that was looking me over. I probably drooled and blushed or some shit.

He cleared his throat and simply walked into the kitchen, not saying a word.

This was bad. This was monumentally bad.

It went eerily silent as me and Yukina sat together. I could smell whatever Yusuke was cooking and felt Hiei's stomach growl (insert more fangirl squealiness at hearing that noise). After a few minutes, Kurama came back in and sat down on the couch across from us. His legs were crossed as he held his hands in his lap (holy shit freaking Kurama) "So...Victoria was it?" And that VOICE.

_Oh...he better not stay here too long cuz Hiei's body might get ideas again..._

And there is your only HxK moment. Enjoy.

"She likes Vhee better, right?" Yukina smiled.

"Ah, yes of course. Interesting nickname. Inventive." And he smiled - actually SMILED AT ME.

Can I just die now or something? "Uh, yeah." I said quickly and looking away from him.

"Genkai tells me you have...access to Hiei's memories..." And there it was. The friendly but I'm totally suspicious of you and I'm about to rape your brain tone.

Yukina asked. "Oh, really? You didn't tell me that..."

"I just told Genkai," I spoke quickly again.

"What kind of memories? Like do you know...personal things about him?" she pressed and I had to stop from snickering.

"Uh, no. Just simple stuff. I know who you guys are and stuff."

Kurama adjusted his hands. "And how far does that go?" Still friendly but now with the promise of torment, like a screaming specter in the background.

"Just names and places and stuff..."

"Stuff?"

OH GOD GET ME OUT OF HERE! I DON'T WANNA PLAY ANYMORE!

"Dinner's ready!" Keiko called and I think I finally learned how to make Hiei do that thing he does cuz next thing I knew I was in the kitchen and kinda dizzy.

"Holy crap."

"Hey there. Hope you like beef stir fry." Yusuke plated some for me and I looked around at everyone sitting down to eat including Kuwabara.

"You people are being awful nice to me...I mean...Isn't this kinda weird?"

Yusuke chuckled. "Yeah, like the weirdest thing I've ever seen. But so far there's nothing we can do about it. I mean, we could lock you up or something but that'd be pointless. We might as well just live with it until we can fix it. So eat up."

Yusuke Urameshi: Coolest guy ever.

And Kurama was behind me again, making me jump at his voice. "Well put, Yusuke. Until we can do something about this, we might as well get along."

There it was again; that shiver up my spine. The dread poking my soul. Kurama was totally gonna f-ck me up.

I sat down to eat only to be interrupted as a shrill voice called out to us. It was Botan and everyone groaned. "Ah, man. Binky boy probably has info."

I moaned as I left the table and Yusuke's glorious smelling food...

"There you all are. Something smells good." Yeah bitch, and I ain't eatin' it cuz of you! "Anyway, Koenma has some answers for us." And she gestured to the prince as he entered with a book.

"Please, let's all sit down. I have something to show you."

We did and he opened the book to a picture of two items; _the_ two items. "Young lady, these are the items you saw, correct?" I nodded. "Good! That's one hurdle down."

"What are they?" Kuwabara asked.

Yusuke leaned in. "Looks like a firework and a compact. What is with you guys and compacts?"

Koenma ignored him and answered. "These items are related to each other in a way for their function is to change things." He pointed to the firework. "This is the Reality of Change. I don't need to talk about this one, so let's focus on this one here..." The Reality of Change? That explains how I got here right in the title...

He pointed to the compact. "This is the Mirror of Change. Now this is what we need to talk about." Everyone leaned in. "This item basically is a soul switcher. I believe you fell on it and activated it."

I nodded. "Yeah, I did. It was an accident."

He looked at me. "I'm sure." His eyes made a quick movement , just up and down like the shutter of a camera. "Anyway, this item is very dangerous because the other soul involved will have no idea what happened. I believe Hiei was switched with this girl."

A gasp filled the room. "Hiei...is in this girls' body right now?" Kuwabara asked. "Man, I almost feel sorry for him..."

Koenma nodded. "Yes, our top priority should be finding him. Then we go from there."

Yusuke held up a hand. "Wait, wait, wait. Can we switch them back?"

Koenma shut the book. "If we had the Mirror, yes."

"And lemme guess; you don't."

"Nope. These items were stolen from us a few months ago."

Kurama chuckled a little. "Another vault heist, then?"

Koenma cleared his throat. "_Anyway_, we need to find Hiei first. That is what matters at this point. I'm sure you all agree with me."

We all nodded as he turned to Botan. "Oh, that's right! I have something fr you, dear." After all the crap I did to her she's calling me_ dear?_ _Talk about forgiving... _

"It a special item that we highly protect, but for this situation we can make an exception," Koenma explained.

Botan held out a necklace. It was a small silver circle, like a coin, 'bout the size of a silver dollar and in the middle was a simple red button. What was with these people and red buttons? "It's called a Spirit Gazer. We only use them for cases like this when a soul is switched or someone needs to disguise themselves. Just put it on and press the button!"

"What will happen?" I asked as I took the pendant.

"It will produce an image on your person that reflects the inner self," Koenma answered. "The image will be solid as real flesh and no one will know the difference. So like a hologram but not really."

I gasped and slipped it on. I knew I could trust them so I pressed the button. I felt a slight tingle and then it was over. Everyone gasped with wide eyes. "Oh, you're cute!" Botan giggled.

"Huh?" I gasped again. It was...MY voice! My very own voice and not friggen Hiei's! I looked down and my right hand was still bandaged but I could see my long red painted nails. They were the shade I remembered them but it was drawn now. I stood up and ran to a hallway where I knew a mirror was.

_I'm...anime. A real anime girl..._

My hair was just a tinge darker than Kurama's and parted down the middle hanging a bit in my face. I removed Hiei's scarf, seeing a feminine neck. My eyes were almost the EXACT color Kurama's were. In fact, I looked like an OC creation of his little sister.

This was creepy. My eyes were big and round a lot like Botan's and my face reminded me of her and Yukina, not so much Keiko or any of the other girls in the series.

I was cute. Which was odd. In my world I could maybe pass for cute but not like this. I stepped back and felt my hips which felt like a woman's. I was a little bit thinner but still bigger than the girls here. (Sigh) just can't win on that, can I? I looked down and my stupid bewbs were still staring me in the face.

All in all, this wasn't half bad. I liked the anime me!

I giggled and ran back to the gang. "Oh, wow! This is amazing! Thank you, Botan! I'm sorry I picked on ya."

She smiled. "No worries. I wouldn't be very nice inside Hiei either."

"I'm gonna let that one slide," Yusuke snorted. "So this is you? You look related to Kurama."

Kurama chuckled. "Yes, she does."

Yusuke took another look and then started snickering. "Oh, my God..." he held up his hands in a picture frame gesture. "Take a look at this Kuwabara; if you block her head, it looks like Hiei's got a giant rack!"

Kuwabara sputtered and choked as Yusuke rolled on the floor. "Yusuke, that's not funny!" Keiko scolded and for once I was happy to have her yell.

I crossed my arms and sat back down with a red face. It was true; I was still wearing Hiei's pants and cloak and I'm sure I looked like a lame ass cosplayer.

Like, "I'm the HxK lovechild!"

FAIL.

Koenma shook his head. "Okay...well, next we need to know your name so we can pinpoint your exact location. Wherever you were when the switch happened, Hiei most likely is."

I gasped. Wait, I was in MY world when I switched. Does that mean Hiei is there? Or maybe I switched to here first then switched bodies...The two beeps weren't at the same time...one was first...OH I WAS SO CONFUSED!

My only hope was maybe this girl, this face I was wearing now, was somehow the anime me here and Hiei did indeed switch with that. "My name is Victoria."

"Your full name, dear," Botan prompted. Oh. Dammit. I hate my full name.

Okay, here it goes; the official Mary Sue moment. Where the OC reveals her name and it's something really over thought and stupid and lame.

I sighed. "Victoria Anne LeVeigh." Yeah, start laughing. I can't help it; it's my name.

Koenma wrote it down with a nod. "Alright, we'll search that in our files and see if we can find you. Until then, just sit tight."

Botan smiled at me. "What a pretty name."

I looked away. "Just call me Vhee, okay?"

"Alright. But it is very pretty."

I shrugged.

"So...what now? We just wait 'til they find out where she lives or whatever and then we go get shorty?" Kuwabara asked after Koenma left.

"Yeah, I guess so," Yusuke sighed. "Well, now that you look like a chick, this ain't so bad. Wanna play some video games?"

I smiled. "Yeah, whatcha got? Like, I love me some Halo and Call of Duty. I know most girls don't but I can totally pwn anyone." They all looked at me strange. "Oh, right. You guys don't have American titles I guess. Do you have a Playstation? I can rock the Wii pretty good but I really prefer that."

Again more strange looks.

"Uhm...Playstation? Yeah, I think Genkai has one but she doesn't have too many games on it. The arcade is better."

"Yeah, but those games are old."

Kuwabara made a noise. "I thought they were new. Anyway, I like Nintendo. I got mine just last month and it is awesome!"

Yusuke turned to him. "Yeah? What you got for it?"

"Super Mario Brothers so far but I'm saving up for more."

Yusuke shook his head. "Dude, Mortal Combat for Playstation can kick Mario's ass."

As I listened to them I suddenly began to feel...very ill. Super Mario Brothers? Mortal Combat? _Oh, f-ck._

"Uh, what is the name of your Playstation, Yusuke?" I asked slowly.

He looked at me. "It ain't mine, it's Genkai's and...Playstation? It doesn't have a name."

"No, I mean one, two or three?"

He blinked. "There is no two or three...that I know of..."

I closed my eyes. "And Kuwabara, what is the name of your Nintendo?"

"Like the full name?" I nodded. "Uhh...Nintendo 64. Why?"

The N64 and PS1. The series was made in the nineties and it ended in '94.

I WAS STUCK IN F-CKING 1994! WHAT THE HELL?! I DON'T KNOW 1994! I BARELY REMMEBER _2004_ LET ALONE 1994!

I SHOULDA WATCHED I LOVE THE NINETIES ON VH1!

~TBC

* * *

**A/N: Alright! That's a better length now, huh? (The N64 came out in 96 so anyone gonna flame me bout that I intend to have an explanation next chap)**

Hiei: Fool. See what happens when you set a standard? I hope they get mad at short chapters and then they'll stop commenting and I'll be free from this lunacy.

Vhee: No they won't! They'll stay and love us no matter what and be happy that Dream posted ANYTHING AT ALL.

**Dream: Yes they will. Here, have this brownie that may or may not have medication in it. -gives to her-**

Vhee: CHOCOLATE! -crams in face-

**Dream: More Q&A...**

**Q&AWH Chap 9:**

From: **vallin55amaya**

"Do you realize you look like a troll doll?"

Vhee: I CALLED IT! -falls off chair-

Hiei: A what?

Vhee: Think there's a jewel on his belly-button? -laughing- Make a wish!

Hiei: I don't want to know.

"What's your favorite Disney Movie?"

Hiei: Wall-E.

Vhee: Seriously?

Hiei: There's no talking for most of the movie, and hardly any humans.

"Favorite Horror?"

Hiei: Cabin Fever. Everyone dies horribly.

Vhee: PANCAKES!

"Are you seme, or uke?"

Hiei: Alright, I guess I have to spell it out for you. I am heterosexual. That means I like females to mate with. Yes, females, as in women. With curvy hips, large breasts and TIGHT MOIST

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEP

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-approximately 22 minutes later=

Vhee: Definitely need to change this to M.

Hiei: I felt like I was channeling Yusuke for a minute.

Yusuke: You were! -pulls out mind control device- HAHA! -runs away laughing maniacally-

Vhee: Wow. That was the most random thing I've ever seen.

Hiei: I need a drink.

Vhee: You do realize, Hiei, in that rare emotinal outburst, you just decribed what type of woman you prefer? One with curvy hips and big boobs. Is that the kind of woman you like? -cracks left knuckles-

Hmm? -cracks right knuckles-

Hiei: I was simply describing an attractive woman. That doesn't mean that _I_ prefer that type of woman.

From: **Destiny921**

"Have you ever wished that you could be something else instead of you being your current self? If yes, what would you be?"

Hiei: I wanna be a rainbow pony.

Vhee: -laughing- (I seriously heard Chuck Huber's voice in my head when I wrote that. Can't you just hear him saying that? OMG.)

"Hmm..If Kurama blackmails you into going into a MALL with the whole gang, meaning: Kurama himself, your's truly (you, Hiei!), Yusuke, Kuwabara, Shizuru, Botan...And when u go inside all of u get surrounded by RABID fangirls (THE HORROR!) who would do anything to ur attention, what would you do? Cuz ya cant burn or kill them because if you did:

a) the cops(police) would be after you.

b) Spirit World would be after u as well.

So yeah, what would u do anyways? -curious-"

Hiei: I have telekinesis and can disappear faster than a blink of an eye. Duh.

From: **Black Belt**

"1.../ Well, we all have our likes and dislikes, and I did ask. Just didn't expect that. But I hope you find that girl for ya."

Hiei: Get a dictionary and look up sarcasm.

"2 It seems that Vhee doesn't believe you. ^w^U I guess it would be hard to find a woman to dominate over you."

Hiei: Not that I mind a woman over me. -evil grin-

Vhee: Oh, God...

"3 Oh, Ireland...it does sound stunning

4 Ok, you're feelings then. Well, I will try to take that into consideration!"

Hiei: Again. Dictionary.

"Questions

How are you feeling today?"

Hiei: Bloodthirsty.

"Everyone is asking you questions-are there any questions you would want to ask everyone or some individuals?"

Hiei: Yes. This is for everyone. Why is it that human males like to watch two human females have sex, but human females don't like to watch two human males have sex? And yet, some human females like yaoi. What is the difference?

Vhee: Yaoi is anime. Anime is cartoons. Not real guys slapping meat.

Hiei: I see a banning in your future.

Vhee: Guys? What do you think? M?

Hiei: Why don't you just change it so I can cuss without being f-king bleeped.

Vhee: I like tripping the censors.

"Anything you want to talk about now? You can have a say in what's being discussed as well."

Hiei: How about religion?

Vhee: Sure. Let's just start a flame war.

Hiei: Bombs away.

From: **TheSorrowfulVampress **

"I have one question, and one question only; Wanna help me kill Kuwabara?"

Hiei: No. Do it yourself.

Vhee: Oh. My. God. You know what this is? This...this..._**THIS IS MY 100TH REVIEW!**_ -throws confetti-

Hiei: -spits confetti out of his mouth-

Vhee:OMG, OMG, OMG! MY FIRST TRIPLE DIGIT!

-balloons fall from the ceiling while the new years song plays-

Vhee: Huh?

Yusuke: All right! -busts in outta nowhere, pops a champagne bottle and sprays it all over the place-

Vhee: Yusuke! What the hell are you doing here? Again?

Yusuke: I don't know!

Vhee: And why is _Auld Lang Zign _(sp?) playing?

Yusuke: Oh, here. I'll change it. -switches it to _Slap Your Bitch Up-_

Vhee: Ok, you know what?

Hiei: -laughing so hard he falls off the windowsill-

Vhee: You two idiots have ruined my big moment.

Kuwabara: CONGA! -conga line behind him-

Botan: Let's party!

Vhee: I give up.

-3 days later-

Hiei: I did what?!

Vhee: Yeah, it shot all over the place...Oh...uh...Hi! We're back! More Q's!

From: **Ichimaru Gin**

"Hiya! -waves- I gotta question! Jus' fer Hiei-kun! Or shoul' I call ya 'chibi-kun like I call Shirou-kun? -grins- I think ya should be 'chibi-kun'! Bu' tha's jus' my opinion!

Anyway...I wanna know, if ya met either me (Gin) or Byakushi-kun in rl, who do ya think ya'll win agains'? Answer carefully! -grins- Oh, ya shoul' know bu'... I totally think Hime-chan fawns ova ya...hehe. Talk to ya later, Chibi-kun!

-IG"

Hiei: ...

Vhee: ...

Hiei: ...

Vhee: -snickers-

Hiei: What the hell was that?

Vhee: Sweetie, is that Bleach?

Hiei: I'd win against either of you. Whoever you are...

Vhee: FYI, if I can't understand your questions Hiei can't either.

Hiei: What?

Vhee: That's right. NEXT

From:** Liana-Wolfe**

"First of all, hang in there Hiei! Eventually she'll overdose! (Yes, I'm implying that you're high, Vhee.)

Second, Vhee, Stop torturing Hiei with these pointless questions! Eventually he will snap and kill evryone and all you can do is stand there and go 'O t!'"

Vhee: I love it when the reviewers insult the writer to ingratiate themselves with a fictional character that doesn't exist.

Hiei: What was that?

Vhee: Answer the questions.

"Umm... More of a comment but if you go to the search (Takes step back) Limit to YYH (Takes several staps back) And search keywords "Hiei" And "Girl" (Takes a plane to the other side of the world from them) At least five stories will be about Hiei turning into a girl and being paired with one of the other teammates... On a lighter note none of them are yet about him and Kuwabara."

Hiei: Girl. Vodka. _Now_.

Vhee: I'm not -

Hiei: Did I stutter, moron?

Vhee: -grumbling-...After I held his head when he puked all night long...

"Hiei, if you ever go to Ireland, kill a leprechan and send me the head. I wish to mount it on my wall."

Hiei: Whatever.

Vhee: Here's your drink, O great master. -shoves it at him-

Hiei: Good pet.

Vhee: ...

"Vhee, if you could go to one NON ANIME universe... What would it be?"

Vhee: I hate to say it, because it's _sooo_ geeky, but Star Trek. 24th century.

"Hiei, same question. Only with 'And who would you fight' tagged on."

Hiei: There aren't any good NON ANIME universes with strong people to fight so, I'd pick Vhee's universe and kill all of the people that she likes, just to make her miserable.

Vhee: -blubbery eyes- I stroked your hair while you vomited violently...

Hiei: I don't remember so it doesn't count. -slurps drink-

Vhee: AAAH!

"Hiei, singer you would like to murder because one of their songs got stuck in your head?"

Hiei: Whoever made the Hamster Dance...-eyes widen-

Vhee: It's back again isn't it?

Hiei: ...

Vhee: Well, too bad sucka! SUFFER!

"Both. Favorite sci-fi TV show?"

Hiei: ...

Vhee: Star Trek: The Next Generation.

"Hiei, if you had a chance to, would you kill Vhee?"

Hiei: Yes, if she doesn't help me...!

Vhee: I'll get the cymbles...

"Both, favorite ice cream brand?"

Vhee: -in bedroom- Blue Bunny?

Hiei: -shaking- Ben and Jerry's.

"I apologize if any of these questions have already been answered, and Hiei... Good luck."

Hiei: ...

Vhee: I can't find them!

Hiei: DO SOMETHING!

Vhee: -throws a coconut at Hiei's head-

Hiei: Where did you get that?!

Vhee: I don't know! I felt random! -yelling and screaming at each other-

**Dream: Holy crap that makes the doc longer, eh? So many from chap 9. Truly one of my faves.**

Hiei: I blocked so much out...

Vhee: -is unconscious-


	6. I GIVE YOU HIEI

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH

* * *

**Dream: Hey guys.**

Vhee: -whistling-

Hiei: -snoring-

Vhee: You dare me?

**Dream: -eyes widen a little- Hmm...**

Hiei: -still snoring-

**Dream: ...**

Vhee: ...

Hiei: -snorts-

**Dream: Yeah, okay.**

Vhee: -blasts air horn-

* * *

Heads or Tails

Chapter 6: I GIVE YOU HIEI

X -x-x-x-x- X

Oh, dammit to whatever charbroiled flamed hell I was in! 1994?! SERIOUSLY?!

"Hey, are you alright?" Apparently all this greenage was showing on my face cuz the two boys were looking at me all concerned like (aw).

"Yeah, just...what is today's date?" I asked slowly.

"Uh...August fifth...1996," Kuwabara answered ever so nicely.

"Why'd you tell her the year?" Yusuke scolded. "She knows what year it is, dumbass."

He glared at the ex detective. "Well, excuse me! I was being thorough!"

Yusuke grinned. "Thoroughly a dumbass."

The oaf stood up. "You wanna go or something?"

"Oh, yeah right! I'd wipe the walls with your face!"

And they continued their pointless bickering as I stepped outside and had a nervous breakdown. "1996? Wait a minute..."

Okay, okay, okay. Lemme see if I can figure this out right - and I've never been good at math so bear with me.

Let's just say for the time being that the last episode was when the series ended; 1994. Okay, so considering the OVAs, that time frame was a year after the last ep which would be 1995. It showed them going to the second Demon World tournament and it ended with them entering.

So if this is 1996 then that means it's a year after the OVAs! I did it!

But wait, did the OVAs count here? Maybe they did because they were dubbed by FUNimation and this place is the English dub, or at least it appears to be. I can't ask Yusuke if he has his ramen stand or how the second tourney went cuz then I would be obvious. Kurama is already sniffing me...

Hold up.

If Yusuke came back a year earlier than he promised Keiko then he was 17 in the last ep. Then a year later in the OVAs he's 18. So that means...Yusuke, Kuwabara and Keiko are 19, Kurama's human form is 20 and Shizuru is somewhere in her mid twenties. Maybe 24 or 25. Hiei I always pictured was about 16 or 17 in the series simply because of how old Yukina seems to be. She does not hold the air of a grown woman.

So, I'm right in the same age group as all of them! EEEEEEEEE!

"Are you alright?" Kurama asked from behind me and I pissed myself. Okay, no not really but GAH FREAKING KURAMA.

I turned to face him. "Y-Yeah...I'm fine. Just really out of place," I chuckled a little. "It's been a LONG day."

Holy crap - this has all been one day? Unless I slept all night at Mukuro's...oh well, he didn't know that. OR DID HE.

He smiled ever so slightly. "Yes, I can imagine. Are you in any pain?"

I blinked. "Uh, if you're asking if Hiei's body is alright or if I've done anything to it, the answers are he's fine and no."

His eyes quirked just a tad as he considered me. "I see. That's good to know, then." And he turned to go back inside. "We'll have to keep it that way," he tossed over his shoulder and walked in.

Yep, I was right; Kurama was gonna rape my shit.

I sighed heavily and sat down on the step. I was so happy to see my body (or should I say my new anime body) and not Hiei's but I was still trapped inside him. And now I knew for a fact he was trapped in mine. What was happening to him? Was he okay? Was he hurt?

Oh man, look at me; I sound so pathetic right now all worried about Hiei when as soon as he sees me, he's gonna choke me silly. Which would be funny cuz I'm in his body but it still wouldn't be fun. I mean, it probably would hurt and stuff.

I sighed again and looked at my girly hand covered in his bandages. I so looked like a bad cosplayer and wanted nothing more than to get out of these clothes. But of course, fireball here has to go commando, so nuuu. Not happening.

Wait, did this necklace change_ everything?_ I had my boobs so maybe I _could_ change my pants! Oh, that would be so awesome to just get out these stupid clothes that do nothing but smell like him and remind me of him and make me think of him and FEEL LIKE HIM wait, what am I talking about? I lost track.

Anyway, I doubted they would let me change my clothes. I mean, like someone was gonna come out and say "Hey, I bet you hate wearing Hiei's clothes. Wanna go shopping with us?"

I looked up to see Keiko standing behind me with a smile. Did she just ask me to go shopping with her? I guess she did. "Uhm..._us?_"

She nodded. "Yeah, me Yukina and I'm gonna call Shizuru and see if she wants to go."

"We have to wait for Koenma," I reminded her solemnly.

"Oh, yeah. Well, after that maybe?"

"Then we have to go look for Hiei..."

She sighed. "Oh. I see."

Awkward silence time as we just looked around at anything but each other.

And then the air exploded outward blasting us back with white smoke as another portal opened and Koenma stepped out. "Man, I haven't used so many portals in centuries!" he griped and looked at me. "Excellent, you're here!"

"Agh! Why do you have to do it like a bomb going off?!" I yelled back at him as Keiko groaned behind me.

He narrowed his eyes. "I'd watch your tone."

"Or what? You'll kill her 'cause you're so vicious and bloodthirsty? Yeah, right," Yusuke joked as he helped Keiko up. "What now?"

"We found Hiei!" He held out the briefcase thing Botan used in Chapter Black and on the screen was a map. "It is indeed America, California to be exact and the last known address of Victoria Anne LeVeigh."

"Wait, you said you found Hiei. All you found was Vhee's address in America," Yusuke actually said something intelligent.

Koenma sweat-dropped. "Well...yes. That's all we can have really. Our best bet is to search the surrounding area and hope we find him. _But_," and he held up a hand, "we do have this!" and he held up the Demon Compass. "Hiei's energy should still be the same since any energy, spirit or demon comes from, well, the spirit. Now that he has lost the ability to disguise his energy it should come in nice and crystal clear for us."

"He can't disguise his energy?" I asked and immediately regretted it cuz it got me strange looks.

"No, he can't. He's lost any ability he used to have inside your body. He'd have to retrain himself in it for any hope of that," Kurama explained from behind me and I felt my stomach churn.

I just looked down. "Oh. Okay."

"Well, now that we have an address let's get going and rescue Hiei!" Botan cheered and no one cheered with her. "You people are lousy at morale."

Yusuke shook his head. "Yeah, how do we get there? More portals?"

Koenma nodded. "Yep. Saddle up. You all are going to 90210."

"Wait, I need sunglasses!" Yusuke whined.

"I need sunscreen!" Kuwabara joined.

"I need a map!"

"I need a translation guide!"

I looked at Kuwabara. "A what?"

"I can't read American that well," he sheepishly admitted.

I blinked. "Wait, what? You don't...what language are we speaking?"

They all looked at me like I grew three heads. "Uh...English," Yusuke answered. "What language are _you_ speaking?"

I swallowed as I felt foxy eyes on me again and looked away. "Uhh..."

Just when I thought this shit couldn't get more confusing, it does. They knew they were speaking English and yet they couldn't READ it. They could only read Japanese.

I guess it made sense cuz their city is in Japan and all the writing and stuff is Japanese...OH GOD MY HEAD.

I shook myself and giggled. "Uh, I was just...uh. I can't read Japanese so I can translate for you."

Yusuke and Kuwabara looked relieved but Kurama just stared. "Great, now get going. Portals aren't cheap, ya know," Koenma ordered.

"They don't cost anything," Botan drolled with an eye twitching.

Koenma returned the gesture back at her. "I was trying to sound cool. Get in the portal or you're not going!"

Botan gasped. "No! I wanna see the beach!"

Yusuke facepalmed. "We're rescuing_ Hiei! _Not taking a vacation!" He looked at me. "You ready to go?" Keiko put a hand on his shoulder and he smiled. "Yeah, I'll be careful. This isn't like all the other stuff. I'm helping a friend."

She smiled back. "I know and I'm kinda proud of you."

He raised an eyebrow. "_Kinda?_"

She sighed. "Get in the portal, you idiot."

He rolled his eyes and nodded. He was first to stand in front of it followed by Kurama. "I would appreciate us doing this quickly. My mother tends to worry a little."

"You live at home?" I asked and he looked at me with a slight glare, if you could call it that from him. Then he smiled and nodded.

"Yes, I do," was all he said and turned to face the swirling vortex.

Kuwabara said the longest most gushy most uncomfortable goodbye to Yukina I have ever seen. I can't even write this crap it was so embarrassing.

Random asshole: You're just lazy.

Vhee: ...Ya know what? I'm not even gonna try to kill him this time.

Asshole: See?

Vhee: I'M TIRED OKAY?! -snaps fingers and a giant worm with millions of teeth inside its mouth jumps out of the ground, eats him and buries back down to the cold dead mud- THERE! YA HAPPY NOW?!

Asshole: -digestive material-

Vhee: Yeah, that's what I thought.

So now it was me, Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama and Botan ready to jump through. And we all did. Yeah, not much else to tell really.

Except when we reappeared we were in the air and plummeting down to one of the beaches of California.

My necklace had deactivated for some reason and now I was Hiei again screaming horribly as I flailed my arms all crazy and shit. Yusuke and Kuwabara were falling with me and yet they didn't give a f-ck about their personal health and started laughing at me hysterically pointing and teasing.

I felt arms encircle my waist and looked up to see red hair waving in the wind. "I got you," was all he said and I reactivated the Spirit Gazer, swallowing nervously.

"Thanks..."

_HOLY SHIT KURAMA'S HANDS WERE AROUND MY WAIST AND UNDER MY BOOBS HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT._

"I'm glad you turned that thing back on. It looked really wrong to see Kurama holding Hiei like that," Yusuke commented as we still continued to fall.

"Uh, hello?! We're gonna die!" Kuwabara screamed and started swimming in the air. Kurama did exactly what he did in Chapter Black as they entered Demon World and we all floated to the beach on the leaf of a plant. "How many of those do you have? And where do you keep them?" he asked as he swept sand off his pants.

Kurama just smiled and Yusuke laughed. "If he told you he'd have to kill you, right?"

Kurama shook his head. "I do have to keep an air of some mystery, Yusuke."

I looked around and didn't recognize the beach we were on. "Are we anywhere close to...my address?" I asked.

Yusuke shrugged. "I dunno. Oh, Botan?"

Oh, yeah I forgot. I'm always forgetting Botan. The little bitch was on her oar the whole time while we were falling and screaming. "Right-O!" she saluted and brought out the Detective Kit. "We have the Demon Compass and the Psychic Spy Glass. I don't know if that will work but it might since technically it shows a demon's true form and Hiei isn't in the right body. We could try it. We have a few other items as well just in case but right now all we need is the Compass." She held it out to Yusuke and he put it on his wrist. "It's been programmed for Hiei's energy signal."

He nodded and turned it on, it immediately beeping and making noise. "Hey, hey! Look at that! He's...I have no idea where!" We all sweat-dropped. "Okay, I think I remember this..."

"I have an idea," Kurama chimed. "Let's go to her address as a starting point and then follow the signal."

Kuwabara huffed. "He might not be anywhere near there. He probably ran to the forest or somethin'."

Kurama just smiled. "I think it's a good place to start and it is all we have."

They looked at me. "Well, take us to your place then," Yusuke said.

I gulped. I didn't know this world or the anime me in it. Plus it was 17 years in the past. Were the roads the same here? I had no idea how to get to _my_ place! "Uhh...I haven't been to this beach before. I may need a map," I said nervously and Botan held out one for me. "Oh, okay. Uh, let's see..."

And I'm still screwed cuz I don't know how to read maps! Damn GPS f-cking up everything.

"Uhh..."

"I can read English. Your address is here, dear," Botan pointed. I looked at the map again and the air whistled through my head. "And here we are at this beach. So we just need to take this road here. Phlum Street? Is that right?" I nodded. I did recognize that name. "Great so we just find that street and we're good to go!" she chirped and folded up the map.

"Let's go this way," I pointed and suddenly the whole main cast minus Hiei was following ME. If I wasn't scared shitless this would be totally cool. I had no reason to be scared except gorgeous green eyes boring a hole in my freaking head.

Soon we reached the street and God must've felt sorry for me cuz we were at Phlum Street. "Alright! Where did the map say to go? I have a terrible sense of direction," I said and that wasn't a lie.

"This way. Just a few blocks."

"Why did your stupid portal drop us a couple blocks away?" Yusuke made a rude noise. "Typical Spirit World."

"Well, excuse me! Portals are not an exact science!" Botan yelled indignantly, making Yusuke roll his eyes.

We kept walking to what I assumed was my place and I looked around at this anime world. It was so weird. It was all drawn like anime yet it was english words on stuff and American cars. Not that I haven't seen that before in anime it was just still weird. It was like the world that we all know just animated instead. There were so many people and so many things. Were they all real?

This whole time I had been asking myself that.

Some guy: We never heard you ask that -

Vhee: **SHUT UP OR YOU'RE WORM FOOD!**

This whole time I wondered if this was all really real. Like were they breathing and living? Did their hearts beat? Well, the humans ones anyway but you know what I mean. How could this be real?

My thoughts were interrupted as I ran into a telephone pole.

"Oh, damn!" Yusuke chortled as he ran up to me. "You gotta be more careful."

Botan put a hand on my shoulder. "Yes. Hiei is sturdy but I wouldn't want you to break something."

I held my nose and whimpered. "Y-Yeah...I hope I didn't...it hurts..."

Kurama knelt down to me. "Let me see." I blinked and let down my hand and he just tilted my head to look. "I can't tell if you're really hurt or not." I sighed and turned off the necklace. He studied my - Hiei's - face again and nodded. "All is well."

I reactivated it and smiled.

Kuwabara cringed. "Yeah, super creepy to see Kurama touch Hiei like that..."

Oh, how I just wanted to tell him "Yeah, they were supposed to be lovers in the first place" and just totally mind f-ck him but the het fangirl in me just could not do that.

Instead I gave him a glare and looked around. Across the street was a large apartment building. "Ah, here we are!" Botan sang as she pulled out the map again. "Your place is in that building there."

We all crossed the street and once inside the building I realized I had no idea what number the anime me lived in! Yay!

My own number was B 25 so I figured I should try that. The building did look the same as mine. It might've been the whole "everything is drawn" thing that threw me off and that's why I didn't recognize anything.

That and running into a pole and _Kurama touching me..._

So we went to the second floor and found B 25. I sighed heavily and looked at the door and the welcome mat in front of it. It was not mine but it was something I _would_ buy. It was so weird; I would totally buy a welcome mat with penguins playing in the snow even though I live in sunny Cali. That is SO me.

_I wonder if..._

I pulled up the mat and low and behold there was a key just like what I used to do before I was robbed. Although the anime me had the excuse of it being 1996 and crime wasn't nearly as bad then as it is now.

I grinned and just as I went to unlock the door a voice stopped me. "Oh, Victoria!" I turned to see an old woman standing there smiling at me. "It's so good to see you again! I was wondering if you had left for a vacation."

I had no freaking clue who this woman was. And yet, she knew me. I just smiled politely and nodded. "No, I'm okay. Just showing my friends my place. Come on, guys." They played along as she went inside her place and I went to unlock the door, seeing it was already open. They all followed me in and gasped at what we saw.

The whole place was trashed. Memories of my robbery flashed through my mind and I shivered. "Are you alright?" Botan asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, someone trashed my place."

Yusuke stepped on some broken glass. "Yeah, I bet it was an angry demon that realized he was trapped in a human girl."

Everything was ruined. Anything that could be broken was. The shelves were toppled over, papers everywhere. The silverware from the kitchen was thrown all over the floors, plates and glasses broken.

"If you ask me, he had a right proper tantrum," Botan commented avoiding the mess.

"Yeah, this doesn't seem like him at all," Kurama sighed. "Although I have no idea how he would react in this situation."

"How would _you_ react in this situation, Kurama?" Yusuke drolled.

He shrugged. "I certainly wouldn't destroy the only environment I found myself in. Especially when it held clues."

Yusuke shook his head. "And since when does Hiei look for clues?"

As I gazed at the mess, I didn't recognize anything of mine, but like I said about the mat, it was stuff I would totally buy. Like the lava lamp, or what was left of it. And the adorable couch and swivel chairs. It was like if all I had was nineties stuff, this is what I would get.

I saw some stuffed animals in the bedroom as I continued to look and paused as I saw one that was _very_ familiar.

It was a small stuffed purple frog. I knew it anywhere even though it was drawn now.

"Stefan..." and I picked him up, feeling the beans in his feet like I always did. I got this frog when I was a little kid, like 1993 I think. So the grown anime me in 1996 has something I had when I was a little kid in 1993?

CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPY.

But it was mine and I decided to take him with me. There was a pocket inside Hiei's cloak and I pushed him into it. It just felt better to have him with me. Like everything was gonna be okay..

Everyone: AWWWWWWWWWWWWW...

Vhee: -_- shaddap.

I exited the bedroom and everyone looked at me. "Well, Hiei's not here obviously. What do we do now?"

"We look to our trusty Demon Compass!" Botan chirped. "Yusuke?"

He turned it back on and it went crazy. "Hey, looks like he's close by..." The arrow swirled around and then the thing busted. "What the hell?"

"Hiei can manipulate his energy already?" Botan softly asked.

"No, I would imagine his energy is down to a simple level now. When his emotions are involved, it rises," Kurama explained. "I think he is very angry right now..."

"Well, let's find him before he does something stupid," Yusuke sighed heavily. "And thanks to 'Trusty Spirit World' crap, we'll have to do it the hard way. Let's go."

Yusuke and Kurama searched the building while Kuwabara and Botan went outside. I chose to go with them because of FREAKING KURAMA. "Can you sense his energy?" the reaper asked the teen.

"Yeah, I've been able to this whole time and I can tell it's near by but I can't pin point it. Like...it's really strange now..."

"He can't control his energy very well now and it_ is_ in the wrong body, so maybe that's it," Botan offered.

I suddenly felt another chill and my feet started on their own as Kuwabara and Botan talked about maybe using the Detective Kit items. "Maybe we should use the Mystic Whistle again? It worked on Kurama and he has a human body..." Botan's voice trailed off as I went around the corner.

And then I saw it.

It was another anime me kicking a tin garbage can over and over to the point where the only thing recognizable as a garbage can was the lid beside it. She was cursing and kicking and kicking and kicking.

She was wearing some regular blue jeans and a green tee shirt. It was like an outfit I had back at my home. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail with a blue scrunchy and I kinda had one like that too.

She looked just like what I did with the Spirit Gazer turned on.

I knew.

I _knew._

"Oh, God..." I whispered, and she pivoted on her feet to face me.

To Be Continued

...

...

...

...

PSYCHE! NOT! Okay, yeah that was mean. Sorry, I just had to. -is dodging various produce products- _**SORRY!**_

As I stood face to face with the anime me, I swallowed and felt my legs start to shake. She eyed me and immediately ran over to me and _slammed_ me into the wall. Holy shit, I had no idea I had this much strength in me! Did the anime me work out?!

She looked me over, or should I say my outfit and grabbed the shoulders, fingering the material and completely ignoring me. I opened my mouth and before I could control it, the sound came out; "Hiei...?"

And the eyes snapped to mine.

"YOU!" she roared and grabbed my throat. "How did you - ?! Why do you - ?! How do you look like this?!" And there it was; the confirmation. She..._he_...wasn't choking me just holding me there in place as he looked me over, glaring deeply into my eyes. It was my voice but it had a tinge to it, a tone that I'm not proud to admit I used to have when I would imitate him.

Yeah okay, I would like act out my fanfiction scenes and imitate all of them. LIKE YOU'VE NEVER DONE IT. And if you haven't well then, f-ck you.

Also those eyes...they were like mine all green and round but now they were focused and controlled. I could _see_ it. It was right there..._he_ was right _there_...

Oh God...it's Hiei...It's really Hiei...IT'S HIEI! IT'S REALLY HIEI! **OH MY GOD!**

-continuous tone- _We interrupt this fanfic for an hysterical fangirl moment._

_**AAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAHHHHHH! AFYTEWYUWTRYEJHFJRH! UYFTURHBGHJSHGJSDFHG! URGHFLABABADABBITYWABBITYWAGH!**_

_However we will be landing shortly so please return your tray-tables to the upright position and thank you for choosing Dream Air._

Okay, no I'm okay. I'm alright, no really I'm-fine-I'm-fine-I'm-fine...Oh God...okay...okay just breathe it's fine...Okay. Phew...

So...I swallowed hard and he was still staring at me. "Uhm...are you Hiei?" His eyes narrowed. "So...uh...what did you ask me?"

He released me and scoffed. "How do you look like that? These _are_ my clothes, I know that. So..." and he looked me over. "I thought this was a delusion and I kept trying to wake up. But nothing worked." And he held up my bloody knuckles.

"Hey! That's my body you're scraping!"

And he sneered at that. "So...then this is a body switch?"

"You've heard of them?" He said nothing and just glared at me. "Yeah, it is."

"Tell me how you look like that or I will amputate your arm."

I whimpered and looked down at my neck. My Gazer was down the cloak so I wouldn't touch it again and I went looking for it. I yanked on a chain and accidentally pulled out Yukina's stone. "Oh, uh, yeah not that, hehe..."

If he was in his body I might've burst into flames just from the look on his face alone. I gulped and pulled out the Gazer and pressed the red button. It beeped and his eyes widened as his face morphed from pure hatred to shock and dismay. "So it _is _true..."

"Yeah," and I cringed at having his voice again. That seemed to snap him out of his shock and he growled, snatching the Gazer from me and ripping it over my head. "Hey! What are you doing?!"

"Simple. This." And he put it on and pressed the button. Suddenly I was now looking at Hiei - the REAL HIEI - as he glared at me.

If I hyperventilated before now I was gonna have an aneurysm.

It was REALLY HIEI and he was in a green tee shirt and blue jeans! OMG SO DAMN CUUUTE! No bandanna on his forehead though and also no Jagan. Kinda strange but still cute. I've seen fanart like this before. "_What _are you staring at?!" he bellowed.

"Uhh..."

"Don't answer. Or say anything ever. You make me sound idiotic." He started to walk off.

"Hey! Where are you going?"

"If you have a device like this, then those fools must be near by. This stenches of Spirit World."

I followed him (OMG I'M FOLLOWING HIEI) and tried to stop him. "That necklace is mine! You can't just take it!"

"I can and have. If I have to choose between looking like a human female and two of me running around, I'll choose the latter." He stopped and faced me with a malicious gleam. "Didn't I tell you to stop talking?"

I glared at him. "What are you gonna do? Kill your own body? You won't do that. I still have the _Dragon_ and the _Jagan_," I taunted and that was a bad move cuz he was throwing me against the wall again. "SERIOUSLY?! WHY DOES EVERYONE DO THIS TO ME?!"

"Because you're grating on the nerves. Now...how do you know of my powers?" he demanded.

I squeaked when he squeezed (that sounds wrong man). "Genkai...told me?"

He scoffed and released me. "Figures. And give me _that._" He yanked Yukina's stone off me and put it on too. Then he continued walking as I followed him.

"So you're completely fine with me looking like you and making you look dumb?" He said nothing. "Okay, but I can't promise I won't turn off my girly charms, totally making you look stupid."

And then we ran into the others. They took one look at me and then him. "Hiei?" Yusuke pointed at him.

"No, it's your mother," was the dry response.

"He took my necklace thing!" I whined and Botan came over to me opening the briefcase.

"I figured I would need two of these so I brought a spare. Here you go, sweetie." She handed out another one to me and I was back to being a anime girl as I put it on.

I stuck my tongue out at Hiei and he rolled his eyes.

"So...okay..." and Yusuke came up to Hiei with that devilish look in his eyes again. "Have you gone pee yet?" And a look of utter contempt was his response.

"Yusuke!" Botan scolded and he started laughing.

"What do you think?" Hiei snapped.

I gasped. "What?! You did?! In MY body?!"

He turned to me with pure disdain in his gaze. "Didn't you? Would you have preferred I pissed your pants?" I looked down. _He hates me_...Honestly, what did I expect, anyway? I did kinda steal his body...

"Did you _bathe_?" Yusuke continued laughing.

"If he did I'm gonna punch him!" Kuwabara announced.

"No you won't!" Yusuke guffawed. "He's in a chick's body!"

"Then we'll switch them back and then I'll punch him!"

"No, you'll just end up barbecued!" He turned back to Hiei. "I mean, come on! You _have _to admit how funny this is! Hiei finally meets a girl and he ends up stuck _inside_ her!"

"Urameshi! Don't you know how that sounds?!"

"HELL YEAH I DO!"

"GUYS! Hel-lo?!" Botan stepped in. "We need to get back to Genkai's so we can figure out how to fix this!"

I watched as Hiei went over to Kurama and - wait a minute no you're switching POVs?! NO WAIT YOU CAN'T! NO -

* * *

"Are you alright?" Kurama asked wearily.

"Let's see; I'm trapped in a worthless, disgusting _human __**female**_. I'm just peachy."

The redhead nodded a little. "Sorry. I do have one other question to ask you. Do you have access to her memories?"

Hiei raised an eyebrow. "No. I have no idea who she is."

Kurama looked at the girl. "I see. "

"I know that look," Hiei looked at her and back at him. "What are you thinking?"

"I am thinking that this girl is not who she says she is. I don't think this switch is as innocent as she has told us. I will keep silent until we are back at Genkai's."

They looked to the reaper making another portal. "Which will be in twenty seconds."

Kurama looked at Hiei with a small smile. "Yes."

* * *

I MEAN THIS IS **MY** STORY AND YOU JUST CAN'T LEAVE oh. You're back. Okay. What were you doing over there? Did anything interesting happen? Fine. Don't tell me. I didn't wanna know anyway. So nyeah!

I mean, It was just Hiei and Kurama talking secretly and now they won't stop staring at me. I'm sure it's fine... Just Hiei...and Kurama... _Oh, shit._

I'm so scared I don't have a snappy ending line.

~TBC

* * *

Hiei: -seething with black flames jumping from his arm and Jagan glowing bright-

**Dream: Really! I swear! Kuwabara came over and blew the air horn! Then he ran like hell. That way.**

Hiei: -sigh-

**Dream: Sorry for the length but hey I gave you Hiei so don't yell at me. Also, just wanna tell ya, this will probably only update once a week. Why? Cuz it takes a while to crank this much crap. If I lose my groove it may be once every other week. **

Hiei: That's what they all say before they drop it.

**Dream: _SHUT UP!_**

Vhee: We won't drop it! We'll stay! Besides Q&AWH only updated once a week and nobody got mad! Right? -dodging fruits-

**Dream: Speaking of Q&A...**

**Q&AWH Chap 10:**

From: BlackBelt

"What do you think of religion?"

Hiei: Hilarious.

"What is it that you believe in (not talking about religion necessarily, just what do you believe in)?"

Hiei: You die, and then a woman flying on an oar takes you to an office where a 2ft toddler tells you your fate.

Vhee: And you think our religions are hilarious!

"Is there anything over the internet that you enjoy?"

Hiei: Porn.

Vhee: -looks offended then starts laughing hysterically- Where exactly do you get internet?!

Hiei: Yusuke's house.

Vhee: TMI...

"What type of person do you respect?"

Hiei: One that leaves me alone.

"By people you don't know-is there another title you want to be known as? Like Hiei-sama, Hiei-dono, Hiei-san etc?"

Hiei: I don't care. Although, -girly voice- _Hiei-kun_ -normal voice- is a bit irritating...

"Vhee, what's a pet peeve of yours?"

Vhee: Being poked. Don't know why.

Hiei: Thank you for telling me a new way to entertain myself.

Vhee: Cherry. Garcia.

Hiei: ...Die.

From: **HeeHeeHee01**

"Hiei, what fight did you have the most fun in? If it's Yusuke, besides him..."

Hiei: Bui, I suppose.

"Vhee, what is YOUR favorite Hiei fight?"

Vhee: Hiei vs Kuro Mumotaro.

From: **Shezka Foxe**

"(For Vhee and Hiei) Since Hiei deals in fire, wouldn't his hair not be soft, but a bit wiry? In order to resist the heat from the fire he handles, such as Dragon of the darkness flames, and fists of the mortal flame?"

Hiei: I suppose.

Vhee: Well, how's this sound?

Their kiss deepened as he flung her against the wall. He grabbed her hips and roughly kissed her neck, nipping at the sensitive flesh. She ran her hands up his neck meeting his coal black hair. Her hands draped themselves through his sticky, wiry hair. It was so wiry she found herself distracted and thinking about how she wished she could get some conditioner - needle scratch-

Not very romantic.

Hiei: Very. Painful. Death.

Vhee: I'm sure.

**Dream: Eh, not too many funny ones in Chap 10...**

Vhee: The doc is too short! Waaah!

Hiei: Heh...please pelt them with sharp things.


	7. My shiny white knight

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH so bite me

* * *

**Dream: You guys are so nice and we got some new takers as well!**

Vhee: Yay! isn't that great, Hiei?

Hiei: Yes. It is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened in the history of history.

Vhee: Aw, I knew you'd agree!

**Dream: -_-**

Hiei: Moron.

Vhee: What?

**Dream: Never mind, sweetie...neeeever mind...**

* * *

Heads or Tails

Chapter_ Lucky_ 7: My shiny white knight

X -x-x-x-x- X

So after being sucked into another fun loving portal and flung to the ground, we walked up to the temple. Thankfully I fell on top of Kuwabara and didn't get hurt this time. But then my necklace turned off when I fell and Yusuke had to make a joke about Hiei being _on top _of Kuwabara and the resulting violence began.

Kuwabara hit Yusuke, Yusuke hit Kuwabara, Hiei announced that Atsuko should've aborted Yusuke, Kuwabara jumped on Hiei about women's rights, Hiei actually jumped on Kuwabara, Kuwabara wouldn't fight back so Yusuke laughed at him, Kuwabara attacked Yusuke again, Botan swung her oar, and I stood and yelled at all of them. Then after the fight we all cried and hugged and promised never to do it again.

Just wanted to see if you were paying attention.

So we're coming back into the temple when Hiei stops me and grabs my FREAKING EAR pulling me into the house. "What the f-ck?! Owowowowow! What the hell are you doing?!"

"It's my body and I'll do what I want to it." He throws me into a room and slams the door. Oh, is this when the fanfic goes horribly wrong and he raeps me? "Strip." I guess it is.

"W-What?"

He pointed to...my chest? What the hell?! "Those are _my_ clothes. Take them off."

I hugged my, erm, chest. "NO!" I whimpered. "I'm not wearing a bra under here!"

He rolled his eyes. "Then deactivate the necklace and then take them off."

"Uhh..." One Hiei stripping for another. Okay, I'm sure there's a doujinshi of this somewhere. "Well, those are mine! Take off yours too."

He ginned. "You want to watch me undress?" He undid the top of the jeans and I saw stars.

"Turn off the Gazer first!"

"Pfft," he scoffed and pressed the button, becoming me again as I did the same becoming him. Then we stripped. Yeah, this isn't freaky or anything. We traded pants and shoes and shirts. There was a mirror in the room and after Hiei was done, he reactivated his Gazer. "Where's my scarf?" he asked.

I reactivated mine. "Uhh, I took it off. I have no idea where it is..."

He rolled his eyes. "Fine." And he left the cloak open in the front split down the middle like a trench coat. HO MY GAWD.

I came up to him and looked at myself. "OH, man! I'm not wearing a bra!"

"You already stated that," he replied monotone.

"No! You don't get it, you stupid man! You can _tell_ I'm not! It looks worse in the tee! The cloak was hiding it...man, these Gazer things have really BAD detail..." He shook his head and I turned to say something else when I noticed he was taller than me. "Hey...are you...taller than me?"

He blinked, looked me up and down (AHH!) and turned off both the Gazers. "No. You are taller than me."

I gasped. I was taller than Hiei, probably by five inches. "Oh." He turned them back on. "Wait, that's gonna be a problem for you..." and I pointed to the floor. His own pants were at least five inches higher on his legs. "Oh, my God..." and I just _laughed_...

"Stop that!" he seethed. "What does it matter anyway?"

"You look like a moron!"

His fists shook. "_You're_ the moron!"

"Okay, okay! Sorry...I guess these things don't fix_ everything_..."

He sighed. "Fine. Give me back those. At least they fit me."

"My jeans?"

"No, your pantyhose - of course the jeans, what do you think?"

"Then give me those!"

And we know this scene by now don't we? Gazers off, strip pants, trade pants, put on pants, Gazers on.

I sighed. "Wait a minute..." and I turned off his Gazer again and saw the scrunchy in his/my hair. "How come it shows up when the Gazer is off but not when it's on?" I yanked it out, and ladies and gents (if there are any), I made Hiei squeal like a little girl. True, he's in my body and it was my voice, but still THE SOUND WAS MADE.

"Eeyaa! You little - !"

I ignored him and held the accessory. "Why won't it show up...?" Oh, that's right; it's freaking anime! Who gives a shit? Logic is not required.

Random asshole: No, you're just an idiot and forgot you put a scrunchy in his hair.

Vhee: ...

Asshole: Kinda like how you forgot that you're wearing his bandanna and yet it doesn't show up when the Gazer is on but the bandages do. Explain that.

Vhee: ...

Asshole: -smirk-

Vhee: You know what? I won't kill you this time. I'll torture you so bad you'll WISH you were dead. -snaps fingers and a bunch of rabid fangirls bust in the room and stop dead at him- Uhm...you're supposed to carry him off.

Rabid fangirls: Why would we do that?

Vhee: Cuz he kinda looks like Sniper.

Rabid fangirls: -look at each other- WORKS FOR US! -carries him off-

Asshole: NOOOO! I look more like Seto Kaiba!

Vhee: Well, I had to choose someone from _this universe_, jackass!

Some guy: You know, he did have a point.

Vhee: I DON'T CARE! -snaps fingers and a giant foot crushes the guy Monty Python style- Man, now I have _two_ I gotta kill. This is getting ridiculous. What's next?

One rabid fangirl: Hiya!

Vhee: -_-

Fangirl: I just wanted to say I love the story but there are a few problems. Like how do you explain the time difference? If it's a year after the OVAs why not just go the whole 17 years? That would make more sense. Or are you saying that different realities have their own pace in the space time continuum? Also, you aren't using proper grammar. You miss commas and proper punctuation all the time and spell words wrong like "cuz/'cause." Using slang shows sloppiness and also doing stuff like this is actually against site rules.

Vhee: ...If I kill her she'll just come back, like a cockroach...or the plague... Hey, a bunch of your friends just carried off Seto Kaiba that way!

Fangirl: REALLY?! OMG!1111111111 -runs off-

Vhee: Oh, man...

Announcer: Hey!

Vhee: OH GOD WHAT NOW!

Announcer: I just wanted to tell you this is your longest skit yet! Congratulations! -balloons and confetti fall from the sky as a happy fanfare plays-

Vhee: -eye twitches- I bet someone right now is thinking "what the f-ck am I reading?" My answer to you would be I HAVE NO IDEA.

Some guy: -muffled by foot- She's just trying to make the doc longer without actually writing anything!

Vhee: _**SHUT UP!**_ -foot stomps him continuously- Now then. Where was I? I don't even remember. I'll have to re-read the chap...

Everyone: -fall on floor-

-5 minutes later-

I really didn't write much, did I? Eh. So anyway I just shrugged and put the scrunchy on my wrist cuz I don't wanna solve the problem I created and ignored anything else that made no sense. He turned his Gazer back on and fumed at me. "Do not_ ever _touch me again."

"You mean don't touch myself? 'Cause that is _my _body you're inhabiting and I can 'do what I want to it.'"

He just glared at me and that's when I noticed he was now wearing tight blue jeans, black shoes, the black torn fighting shirt and the cloak open and split up the middle like a trench coat. He also had no bandanna or Jagan...

SOMEBODY NEEDS TO DRAW THIS.

"Why do you keep staring at me like that?"

-needle scratch- _I was staring at him? WHAT?! _"Huh? Like what?"

He gave me an unreadable look and opened the door with a scoff. "Just stay away from me."

I saw a bulge in his coat and screamed. "WAIT!"

He stopped and pivoted. "What now?!"

"My baby is in there!" I grabbed his cloak and reached for Stefan as he tried to stop me.

The door opened to reveal Yusuke and what he saw looked like my hand reaching inside Hiei's clothes and him pushing me back. "If you wanna molest him, you should touch yourself," he commented blandly and walked away.

Hiei fumed and pushed me to the floor just as I found my frog. "Disgusting..." He stomped off mumbling something about death and destruction.

I stood up and took one last look at myself now in a green tee and black pants. Thank goodness the tee was long enough to hide the red draw string. I would wear stuff like this at home, so I couldn't really complain. It was quite comfortable. And maybe the whole no bra thing wasn't so bad. I was a bit...perkier than I was back home, hehe.

God bless anime.

I put Stefan inside the waistband and let him hang out the top, putting my shirt over it.

I walked out and found everyone, including Koenma again in the living room.

"Ah, Victoria, there you are," binky breath started kindly. "Please sit down. There are some things we need to discuss."

I nodded and did so sitting closer to Kuwabara than any of them. Hiei was clear on the far side, surprisingly on a wooden bar stool. Maybe the jeans were preventing his flexibility. Or maybe just my body.

"Wait, did you two get naked in front of each other?" Kuwabara squeaked.

"Yes, that is exactly what we did," Hiei retorted.

"We turned off the Gazers first..." I sighed.

Koenma cleared his throat. "I found out some more things about these items and perhaps who started this whole mess," he continued slapping a file on the coffee table. "This we believe is the criminal."

We all looked to see a green scaly dude with yellow eyes frowning in a mug shot. _Those yellow eyes...I would know them anywhere._

"His name is Durn and we think he's the one that stole the Reality of Change and Mirror of Change from us. He's been trying for years to break into our vaults."

Yusuke chortled. "Then he shoulda joined Kurama and Hiei way back when."

"Yusuke, please," Botan chided. "Keep going, sir."

"Thank you, Botan. We have no idea why he took both of these items but we do know he wishes to disguise himself, which is why he wanted the Mirror."

Kurama nodded. "Understandable. But how does that play into this situation?"

Koenma turned to me. "You said you were attacked, correct? By a man with yellow eyes?"

I sighed. "Yeah, but he was human looking."

The binky moved in his mouth. "What happened next?"

"He attacked some cops trying to stop him. Then this big blast happened and they all fell to the ground. I found the items and...accidentally fell on them. Then I woke up in Hiei's body. That's it."

Koenma looked back at the folder. "Mm hmm. Did he say anything to you at all?"

I blinked. "He said your name."

Koenma returned his gaze back to me and I dare say it was steely. "Anything else? Anything at all?"

I looked around. "That you were idiots?"

Yusuke snickered at that and Koenma sighed. "Okay...so apparently I need to explain how these items work. The rules that govern them are very specific. For instance, the Reality of Change. If I wanted to use it I would have to think of the place I wanted to go perfectly in my head. Like...if I imagined a reality where we are all women..." and they all grimaced.

"And it would take you there?" Kurama asked.

"Well, to a reality as close as possible to what I imagine, yes."

I gasped to myself. _That's it...that's how I got here..._

"We think that's what Durn is after. To travel to a different reality."

"Then why didn't he just do it and leave?" Yusuke spat.

"I don't know yet. But I think he wanted the Mirror so we couldn't track him. I guess he doesn't realize that we can still track his energy and even easier after he switches to a human body. Anyway, the Mirror has the same rules as the Reality of Change. If I want to switch to a body then I _have_ to know who I want to switch with. Let's say I wanted to switch with...Kuwabara."

Kuwabara made a noise. "Ew."

Koenma flat-faced. "No offense taken there. If I wanted to switch with him I would have to know who he is, what he looks like and his name. Then imagine it in my mind and press the button."

It went silent. "So..." Yusuke started. "...you have to _know_ the person you switch with? It can't happen by accident?"

The wind blew outside. "No...it can't..." was Koenma's slow answer.

And they all turned to me.

Ya know that feeling you get when something really bad happens and you wanna run but you can't cuz you know that'll just make things worse and you have nowhere to go anyway? Yeah.

"Victoria...do you perhaps have something to tell us?" Koenma asked.

I gulped. And this is where the shit stops being funny for a while.

Hiei stepped off the stool. "How do you know me?"

Kurama adjusted his hands a little. "I knew something was wrong the instant Genkai told me she possessed Hiei's memories. I asked him if he had access to hers and he does not. That told me all I needed to know." He paused and stood up. "I knew there was nothing we could do while Hiei was missing. Finding him was top priority. But now that he's here and he's safe...we have nothing more to worry about."

"Especially since I sealed anything she could use against us," Genkai added.

I started to feel something inside me clench. Was that the demon core? It was like the rush you get with a pounding heart without the actual pounding. "You...you were all in on this?" I whispered.

"No. Just me Genkai and Koenma," Kurama answered simply.

Yusuke looked at me, almost with hurt in his expression. "I knew something was off, but I didn't say anything." He shook his head and closed his eyes. When he opened them again they'd changed to that _look_ he gave those random punks messing with that girl at the beginning of Chap Black. _**THAT**_ look. "You might wanna start talkin', kid."

Hiei started coming towards me. "Who are you and how do you know of me?"

"Not just you, all of us it seems. She knew things like our names before we told them. She even pretended to _be_ you at one point," Genkai stated as she sipped her tea, sipped like nothing was going on at all.

I looked down at my lap, something I often do when I can't handle what's going on around me, the surging inside me getting worse and worse. "I...can't..."

"You know what I think? I think she's working for this Durn. I think he sent her here to spy on us..." Hiei snarled as he came closer still, no one stopping him.

"Yeah, she tried to say she _was_ you but with amnesia. And when I saw through her crap she came up with this lame ass cover story. Pathetic really," Genkai chuckled as she _kept drinking._

"Hold on," Botan stepped in, "her file says she really is just a normal human! Nothing special about her at all!"

"Thanks Botan," I deadpanned.

"And humans can't be bad? I think we learned that isn't true the hard way, now didn't we?" Hiei spat and his eyes locked on mine. "Now..." Apparently training is where he got some of his speed from because he ripped a sword out from under the couch and held it to my neck. "...tell us everything you know."

"Why do you have a sword under the couch?!" Kuwabara squawked.

Hiei snorted. "I always have a spare hidden in the house."

Genkai shook her head. "I've found five already."

Hiei paid her no mind and turned back to me. "Tell us. _Now_."

I swallowed and the act made the sword push in more.

You know all those times you watched the series and Hiei was threatening death to his enemy and his eyes were all glare-y and you'd go "Yeah, go Hiei!"? It's really different when it's happening to YOU. It's downright terrifying. Like crap out your ovaries terrifying. Although I don't have those anymore, the point is valid.

"Wait, you can't do that! It's your own body!" Botan screeched.

"I would rather kill my body than have this creature inhabit it."

"Wait, wait, wait." Yusuke stood up now. "Then you'd be stuck in a human girl. You really want that?"

"I'll just have to find the Mirror and change to a more appropriate body." Hiei smirked. "Don't push me Yusuke, I may choose you."

"Hiei..." Koenma began calmly, "need I remind you that is a human soul you are threatening and if you kill your body it will still be the soul that travels to Spirit World. In other words; you kill a human. I don't think I have to tell you what that will mean for you and you no longer have the ability to fight us back."

Hiei pulled the sword away but still held it out. "Then we need to find another way of making her talk."

"I propose one," Kurama stated as he walked a little to me. "I think there are ways of getting her to talk quite easily."

I swallowed again. "What...?"

Kurama just tilted his head at me. "I could get answers from you if you do not volunteer them."

The wind whistled again.

"You wanna...torture her?" Kuwabara asked in a shaky voice.

Kurama said nothing. Turns out fox-boy is a lot more disturbing up close and personal. The way he twists cruelty as if he's talking about the weather. Plain as can be with no hint of any guilt.

"But it's Hiei's body!" Kuwabara tried to defend.

"I have no problem with anything that needs to happen to get her to talk." Hiei looked to Kurama. "Do what you need to."

I finally lost it. "You're not like what I thought you were at all..."

"And there's another piece of the puzzle..." Kurama commented.

"Do you even hear yourselves right now?!" Kuwabara was standing now and Botan followed. "You're talking about torturing a little girl!"

"Her file is clean!" Botan tried to help.

Hiei shrugged. "That means nothing."

"Urameshi, tell me you don't agree with this!"

Yusuke sighed and slicked his hair back. "I don't know...she _is_ in Hiei's body. It wouldn't be like it was really hurting _her_..." Kuwabara turned white and Yusuke groaned. "I don't know what I think anymore..."

Kuwabara clenched his fists. "You used to know back when you were _human_."

Yusuke went stone cold. "Oh, don't _even_ _go there_."

"It's true. You _never_ would've let them torture a human girl! What is _wrong_ with you people?!" Silence answered him. "We didn't torture Sensui's men so what makes it okay to do it to her?!" He faced Kurama. "This is _wrong_ and you know it. You wanna hurt her? You'll have to go through _me_."

Before I knew it, he was in front of me, _protecting_ _me._

"Heh, you wouldn't stand a chance against us," Hiei snorted.

"I think I would against you right now, shorty."

Hiei's face went twisted. "Oh?" and he pressed the button, becoming me again. He swished his hips to the side and gestured to himself - to _my_ body. "Is that so, _Kazuma?_ Please do. Hit me right here," he pointed to my jaw. "After all, I'm just a weak female that can't fight back."

Kuwabara didn't say anything, he just stared hatefully at him as he was taunted. "I didn't think so," was the cruel remark as Hiei reactivated his Gazer.

Kuwabara, much to his credit, said nothing and faced Kurama again. "Are _you_ gonna fight me?"

Kurama sighed and shook his head. "No, Kuwabara. I will not. If you wish to protect this girl then so be it. But she will be your responsibility. Anything she does is on you. Agreed?"

Kuwabara looked back at me and then the rest of the group. "Deal."

"What do we do with her now?" Yusuke asked quietly.

"Chain her to a tree..." Hiei spat as he stalked the room.

"We can just put her in a room. Maybe one that locks from the outside?" Botan offered as nicely as she could.

"I have one bedroom like that. I'll show you," Genkai said as she stood up. Only her and Koenma had remained seated.

Kuwabara gave me a look and nodded for me to follow. I did slowly and kept my head down from the others hearing Botan whisper "Sorry, sweetie..."

They led me to small bedroom with nothing but a twin bed inside it. Of course, it was the same bedroom Genkai led me to when I told her the truth. Figures. She probably had the thing locked the whole time. I sighed as I walked over to the bed casting a sad glance up to Kuwabara.

"I'm sorry. They really shouldn't have said that...but if you're working for this guy all I can say is whatever he's planning or whatever he promised you, it isn't worth it. Please just think about it." And he walked out, Genkai shut the door, and I heard it lock.

So I bet you guys are wondering when the funny is gonna come back now, huh? Well, in any situation not everything can be funny as much as I would like it to be.

And then I farted.

Well, I guess I was wrong.

I pouted at the sound and groaned with my head in my hands. Must be the nerves wracking Hiei's system. Hiei probably never gets scared so his body has no idea what the hell is going on.

And it stunk too! What the f-ck?! All I had was ice cream! That is...unless this was whatever Hiei ate _before_ that...out there in the woods...alone and stuff...OH DEAR GOD.

I wailed and fell backwards on the bed. The last thing I needed was to poop in this body! But I guess it was gonna happen sooner or later...

Man...toilet humor...I must really be desperate to bring the funny back... And it wasn't working because that whole last scene was playing through my head. They were actually talking about..._torturing_ me...

Botan tried to help but no one listens to Botan.

Genkai didn't care. I don't blame her though. I pretty much expected this kinda crap from her.

Koenma didn't say _one_ word and just sat there like he always does.

But I didn't care much about them. Think what you want but I didn't watch Yu Yu Hakusho for Botan, Genkai and Koenma.

I watched it for the other three...

Kurama was supposed to be good and kind but as it turns out, he hasn't changed from Yoko at all.

Hiei I thought had changed but it seems all he cares about is himself and has NO problems hurting someone weaker than him.

Yusuke...Yusuke was supposed to be the hero of the whole series and in the end he was gonna go along with it too! All because I was in Hiei's body and it really wouldn't be hurting _me_. Like hell it wouldn't!

_Kuwabara_ was the only one who stood up and defended me! Kuwabara; the one Yu Yu fans pick on the most. The ugly one. The stupid one. The worthless one. How worthless is he now, ladies?

Kuwabara is the knight we all wait for in our lives. The white shining knight that rides up and saves us. He's pure and kind and SHINY. Honestly, he IS the best guy in the series and I mean that in all seriousness.

And he was hating on me right now. Anything I coulda had in this world, I lost just like that. They all hated me and mistrusted me, all because I lied. I suppose I brought this on myself and we can all use this as a lesson to always tell the truth but this isn't an Aesop fable, this is my f-cking life and it's ruined.

_I ruined it all like I always do..._

I hit the bed and cried, yep I let it out cuz I don't give a shit anymore and for all you fangirls wanting the great big ol' answer as to whether Hiei does or doesn't, he does.

Yep, there they were. Tear-gems. And they looked just like Yukina's. No difference. _Huh. Wasn't expecting that._

I took out Stefan and held him to me. _If I close my eyes I can pretend I'm back home...and safe..._

So whatever I don't give a f-ck I just wanna cry and I think Hiei's body could use it too. Honestly I just wanna be left alone right now so could all of you gtfo? Just switch the POV. I don't care anymore...

_I don't care about anything..._

* * *

Kuwabara paced outside, his head throbbing.

This was totally gross.

A girl was inside Hiei's body.

Well, first; a girl was inside a guy's body. That was gross in and of itself, but _Hiei?_ That was so much worse! Hiei was ugly and stinky and stupid and evil and all sorts of nasty.

He didn't wanna think about it. Like at all ever.

Besides, he didn't have time to. There was something more important going on anyway.

If she was an enemy, he couldn't let her get away with it, but maybe he could convince her what she was doing was wrong. Like Mitarai.

But what if _they_ were all wrong? What explanation could she have about knowing who Hiei was? There was none that he could see but he had to find out. He had to find out if only to fix all of this somehow.

He always had a general feeling about a person when he met them, and with this girl it was no different. He felt like she was just a normal human. He didn't sense any power or darkness from her presence.

As he went deeper he could feel something stirring down inside her. Like something was off. A bell ringing. A funny smell. Something odd that you knew shouldn't be there.

But even _that_ didn't feel evil.

So he steadied himself and went up to her door, ignoring all the looks he was getting and resisting the urge to glare hatefully back at them.

Then Urameshi stopped him. "This isn't like Team Ichigaki or Seaman. You don't have to save her."

He snorted at that. "No, this is exactly like that - and yeah, I do...since you don't anymore." And he left the former detective hanging as he approached her door, only to hear her sobbing. He sighed heavily and messed with his hair. "Oh, man..."

He knocked tentatively and heard her swear and mutter something then a noise that sounded like she was moving the bed on the box springs. "Hey, it's me...Kazuma Kuwabara? Can I come in?"

She let out a faint chuckle and he heard the springs squeak again then finally an answer. "Sure..."

He unlocked the door and stepped in seeing her sitting on the bed solemnly with her legs crossed. He shut the door and grabbed a single desk chair to sit down. Once he was seated he sighed nervously. "So...hey."

She twitched. "Hey."

He swallowed and fumbled with his hands. Now that he was here he had no idea what to say. What kind of inspiring speech could he give this girl to sway her from the dark side? And if he didn't sense evil in her, what made her join in the first place?

This was harder than he thought. He had speeches for the others. All of them fell dead in his mouth. Just as his felt his brain was going to melt from the pressure, she inhaled to speak.

"Do you have anime here?"

He looked up and she was staring at her lap, fiddling with Hiei's bandages. "Uh, yeah."

"Of course; it's Japan," she chuckled low. "Do you have manga here too?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Why? You want some?"

She laughed that time. "No, I don't think I will ever want anime or manga again." He looked at her curiously before she continued. "So...what if I told you I didn't just activate the Mirror of Change?"

He blinked. "What do you mean?"

She shifted and looked up briefly then back down. "That...I activated the Reality of Change too?"

His eyes widened. "You mean...you're from a different reality?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Like a _way_ different reality."

He looked around. "But wait...Koenma said you _had _to know the person you switched with. And you kinda have to know the reality you wanna go to so...if you're not from here then that means you wanted to be and you knew Hiei. How?"

Okay, I gotta come back now. I'm done feeling sorry for myself and well, Kuwabara is being smart. Who saw_ that_ coming? Oh, and I totally hid the gems under the mattress. So where was I?

Random asshole: You didn't put another breaker line for the POV change!

Vhee: F-ck the breaker line! The story's still flowin', ain't it?! STFU! -sends more fangirls and big fat ones this time-

Asshole: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Ahem. So, I knew the only way out of this was the truth. After I stopped bawling and realized that Kuwabara came back for me I quickly ran all the times he fought for humans in the show and knew I could trust him. Outta all of them, he was the only one I knew would listen or at least try.

"In my world..." I started low, "..._you_ are the anime." He stared at me and leaned back in the chair, saying nothing. "Actually, you're a manga first then it was made into an anime."

He still said nothing and just looked at me, his eyes narrowing a little. "You see in my world we are really boring. No one has powers or Spirit Energy or anything cool like that. We watch shows with that stuff and animate stuff like cartoons and anime."

"You know what Spirit Energy is though," was his response after a minute.

"Yeah, 'cause it's in the anime. Lot's of stuff is. There's more in the manga but the basics are in the anime."

"We're all in it?"

I looked up at him. "Yeah...I kinda know all of you and stuff..."

Kuwabara stood up, turned the chair around so the back was to the front and sat back down, holding onto the back. "Okay...your world we are a...cartoon in it?" I nodded. "Wow...what do we look like? All big headed and weird?"

I grimaced. "Uh, you look like you do now..."

"Huh?"

I sighed heavily. "In my world we look different. In my world you guys are drawn on paper and here you still look like that to me. I dunno how you look to each other, and it's all normal to you but to me we all look like drawings and yeah you don't believe me..."

He tilted his head at me and rubbed his chin. "Well, that does sound weird...but I mean...you gotta explain this more."

"How better do you want me to explain it? I'm from a world where all of you and everything and everyone you know is a cartoon." I put my head in my hands and groaned. "I don't know, okay?"

His chair creaked as we sat in silence and any minute I expected him to just get up and walk out. "So...what's it called?"

I looked up. "Your anime?" He nodded. I chuckled as I glanced at the floor. This was so weird to be telling him the _name_ of his own anime and that isn't even the real meat of it all! But if he was willing to listen then I had to take it. It was the only small glimmer of hope I had.

I sighed and steeled myself as I answered, "Yu Yu Hakusho..." He gave me a look and I smiled. "It has several translations; Ghost Files, Poltergeist Report...but I think it means The Happy or Laughing Ghost White Paper. I prefer Ghost Files, but we all just call it Yu Yu."

He shook his head and rubbed his neck. "Whoa...Ghost Files, huh? That kinda makes sense...so what, it shows the cases we did? I bet that's it, huh? When Urameshi was Spirit Detective?"

"Actually it goes beyond that to the first Demon World tournament. But it ends with Yusuke coming back and Keiko kissing him on the beach."

He blinked. "Whoa, really?! You saw that?!"

"Yeah..."

"Then that means...!" and he gasped. "There's no way that Durn guy coulda told you that! You're telling the truth! Oh, man!" He laughed and leaned back in the chair, almost falling off, a big wide grin on his face. "What else do you know?"

"Uhh..."

"Like, do you know what my sister's name is? Or my cat? Do you know all our attacks? Our deepest darkest secrets?" His eyes widened. "Oh, no...what kinda stuff _do_ you know...?"

"Hold up. I don't know everything about you guys. Just some stuff. Yeah, I do know you sister is Shizuru and Eikichi is your cat and yeah I know your attacks. I do not know your deepest darkest secrets...although I do know some..."

"Do you know who Yukina's brother is?" And I choked on my own spit. "You do, don't you! The _anime_ tells it! Please, tell me who is he so I can find him for her!"

I waved my hands in the air. "I don't know that!"

"Yeah, you do. I can tell."

I sighed heavily. "I don't! They...they...they left it a mystery! They never told us and it always pissed me off. Like, grr, really mad, ya know? All the fans complained about that." He inhaled. "The manga goes the same way too." And he exhaled.

"Darn. I was really hopin'..."

"Yep, that's how it goes sometimes, hehe..." And I just about puked. I felt horrible for lying to him, especially since he was so_ trusting_ and _believed _me, but what choice did I have? "Hey, her brother is the guy's body I'm in! LET'S HUG IT OUT." No, that wasn't happening.

He sighed again. "So, what does it start with? Our show, I mean."

I cringed. "Yusuke getting hit by the car and dying the first time."

He frowned. "What? It starts and ends with him? Is it _his_ show or _ours_?"

I rolled my eyes. "Well...it's supposed to be about Yusuke. He's geared to be the main character but most fans like...others in the show."

He leaned in. "Like me?" I looked around. "It's okay, you can tell me. I won't tell anyone. I'm the favorite, aren't I?"

Honestly it was hard to know who the favorite was. I know it's a toss up between Kurama and Hiei since they get the most ass in fanfiction both with OCs and with each other. Truly, hard to tell on that. Fangirls liking Yusuke or Kuwabara best are rare but I have seen them from time to time. So I suppose it isn't a full out lie...I have seen Kuwabara fangirls and they are fierce with their love.

Of course usually, they're doing Hieibara (/facepalm).

"Uhm...now that I think about it, you're all liked even, really."

His shoulders fell. "Oh. Even shorty?"

"Yeah."

"But he's so ugly and gross! No offense being stuck in him." He made a face. "That's just wrong on so many levels..."

"I know," I whined. "He peed in my body!"

He shook his head with disgust. "I oughta teach him a lesson when we fix this...but hey, now we can!"

"What do you mean?"

"We can tell them what you told me! Just tell them details you could only know from the show and they'll believe you." He stood up and went for the door.

"I dunno about this...they aren't as trusting as you...I'm surprised _you _believe me at all."

He turned and gave me a smile. "Hey, I can tell if someone is bad deep down and I don't get that from you. Give 'em a chance. I know after what they said it's hard, but they are good guys...'cept Hiei."

I giggled and followed him out. "If you say so."

"Of course. Shorty's evil."

We made our way back to the living room and they all stared at me as Kuwabara told them we were all gonna talk. "Just listen to what she has to say. It's really weird but I think it explains a lot. Just hear her out."

"You do realize you're holding Hiei's hand, right?" Yusuke drolled and I looked down. We were indeed holding hands.

Kuwabara shrieked and let go apologizing afterward and I just sighed and plopped down on the couch beside him. "This better be good..." Yusuke sighed as they all joined us, Hiei still glaring daggers at me and Kurama no longer giving me the scrutinizing gaze from before. He seemed relaxed like if Kuwabara was okay around me, he could be too.

In fact they all seemed like they were easier around me just as long as Kuwabara was. He really was very important to the group whether anyone wanted to admit it or not.

"Go ahead, 'kay?" he nodded at me. "Just tell them what you told me."

I fiddled with the bandages again. "Stop doing that," Genkai chided a little more gentle than before and I sighed heavily, just holding my hands in my lap.

"So...who knows what anime and manga is?" I looked around. "I doubt Hiei does," I finished with a giggle and he scoffed at me.

"And what does that have to do with why you stole my body to spy on us?" he snapped.

"I know what it is and I bet you do too, Yusuke," Kurama jumped in.

Yusuke nodded. "Yeah, no duh."

"Well...I didn't just activate the Mirror. I accidentally activated the Reality of Change too." That got their attention. "In my world...you guys are the anime..."

Kurama leaned forward. "What do you mean?"

"In my world...I can watch you on T.V.. You are an anime series."

They all looked at each other. "Yeah, okay...what?" Yusuke chuckled.

"That is...highly unlikely..." Kurama said slowly.

"Perhaps not..." Koenma interjected. "In every reality there is a situation that could or would have happened in another. For instance I flip a coin and if I get heads here I could get tails in another. There just might be a reality where we are fake and don't exsist."

"But technically we would exsist in a reality like that, just in a different way," Kurama added with a thoughtful look. Ya know, that one he gets. Yeah, you ladies know. "I did notice that she had no idea who that woman was at her apartment. And she had trouble navigating the streets to her own home. She was looking at everything as if it was the first time."

I couldn't believe it; this was working! _They were really listening to me!_

"This is ridiculous," Hiei cut through my hope. "Can you not see what's happening here? Durn told her how the Reality of Change works and made her come up with this story. It's even more pathetic than trying to be me."

"No, she knows stuff," Kuwabara defended.

Hiei made a rude noise. "_Stuff _that Durn told her, I'll bet."

"Really Hiei?" I stood up. "Did Durn tell me that Yusuke was trying to save a little boy from getting killed by a car when he was killed the first time?"

Hiei set his eyes on mine with a deadly glare. "Sprirt World record."

I clenched my fists. "Is it Spirit World record that the Jagan implant was the most painful thing that has ever happened to you?"

Ladies, I just caught Hiei off guard. Cool moment acomplished. So I kept going. "Is it record that the only person you ever told that to was Mukuro? And you _know_ she wouldn't tell Koenma a damn thing." His eyes widened. "Oh, and she totally read my thoughts and stuff back when I was Demon World in your body so she knows I'm telling the truth. She even knows about the anime."

And they all gasped.

I tuned to Yusuke. "Killing Doctor was the hardest thing you ever had to do at the time. You knew you had to do it, but you hated every second. I always thought that was your bravest moment." His eyes widened and he looked away, turning pink.

I looked at Kurama. The anime didn't give us much but the manga did. I took a chance since this place had some different stuff in it. "When you were a little boy...you broke a glass and your mom used her own arms to protect you from falling on it. That was the first time you saw someone cause themselves pain for someone else. Out of love. That changed things."

He blinked a few times, letting out a small breath. "It did."

I was right. So there were a few things that were right from the manga but not all...I wonder if Maya happened? "I could go on but I think I proved I know things Durn could've never known."

They all looked at Koenma. "I'd say so. Which begs the question, why did you want to be sent here?"

Yusuke chuckled nervoulsy. "You like us that much?"

I did the same as I sat back down. "Er, uh, no. I heard him say your name which made me think of you. I got hurt and just kept thinking about it. I guess it sent me to here 'cause of that. Although this place isn't exactly the same as the anime..."

Koenma nodded. "I did say it would take you to the closest possible reality to what you imagine. We wouldn't be the same as your little show. "

"If you all want to believe this asinine explanation, fine," Hiei spouted. "I still don't although I do have one question." We all looked at him. "You were thinking of us when you activated the Reality object. Why were you thinking of _me _when you activated the Mirror?"

And they all looked at me again.

"Uhh...I was thinking of you last when I fell..." Yeah, like I'm gonna say **"ZOMG UR MY FAV HIEI-KUN!1111111111 /GLOMP/" **Pfft.

Kuwabara laughed. "Yeah, 'cause she likes you the _least_ right, Vhee?"

I looked down, feeling hot. "Yeah...right..."

"Told ya! The fans like us the best, by the way," he gestured to himself and Kurama.

Kurama humored him. "Really now?"

Yusuke made a noise. "Hey, what about me?"

"It's too obvious to like you! The show starts with you!"

"It _starts_ with me?!"

"Don't get a big head, Urameshi! It ain't that big 'a deal! She told me the fans like us the best!"

I sputtered. "I said they like you all equally! What are you talking about?!"

Kuwabara shrugged. "I jusy know me and Kurama are the coolest. I can tell we're the favorites. I mean, who would like Urameshi with his big mouth and Hiei with his...Hieiness?"

Yusuke rolled up a sleeve. "Watch it, I'll give you a big mouth!"

Kurama tried not to giggle. "I think you mean fat lip, Yusuke."

"Okay, okay, let's not argue about who has more fans in a cartoon that only exsits in a different reality," Koenma stepped in.

They stopped bickering with a final pout from Yusuke. "I have more fans than you..."

Sadly, he is actually right. I am one of them, hehe.

"We need to discuss how we are to fix this problem. Without the items we can't switch them back or send Victoria back. We need to catch Durn and get the items from him."

Botan, who had remained silent through the whole thing cuz I forgot her AGAIN piped up. "How do we do that if he is wanting to travel to a different reality?"

"He hasn't. We would lose his energy if he did. It does disappear from time to time but it always comes back. I think he's collecting multiple items from different realities. It's a theory that these items exsist in many different realities. Perhaps just the ones where we exist but there would be tons of those."

I sighed. "So what does that mean?"

"Well, the rules of these items are very complex. For instance, the Reality of Change does not travel with you. So whatever you choose is permamnant. The Mirror stays with the body of the switcher so you end up losing it too. I think...he is trying to get multiples of the Reality of Change so he can do damage to multiple realities...he always was a crazy one..."

"He wants to take over a bunch of worlds instead of just one?" Yusuke asked.

"I think so."

"What a nutjob," Yusuke laughed and then cracked his knuckles. "Just point me in the direction of the ass you want me to kick. After all, I can't dissapoint our little fan, can I?"

"You do realize you're making _Hiei_ blush right, Urameshi?"

"Shut up, Kuwabara."

I raised my hand. "Can I ask something? How does this girl here exist? Like is she me or...?"

Koenma closed his eyes, that thing he does. "Well...she used to..."

I gulped. "What?"

"Another reason these items are so dangerous. When you travel to a different reality you take over the body of the person that exists within it and you basically end up usurping them and...erasing them."

I gasped as my world went white. "I...killed someone...?"

"Well, not _kill_ per-se. Just overwrite. We have no idea if she would return if you left, the theory is she would, but again, we don't know."

I panted. "But...I...she...oh, God..."

Botan comforted me. "It's okay, sweetie, You didn't know. She'll probably come back when we fix all of this."

Hiei scoffed. "So this isn't even her own body I'm inhabiting?"

Koenma shurgged. "Well...no. For now it is. Anyway, I have one last thing I need to address. If Durn is still around he could be a threat. Also, I can't risk him attacking either one of you in this condition so...come here, both of you."

I did but Hiei remained where he was. "Do it or I will drop my pants with the Gazer off." That did the trick and he grumbled as he stomped over to us.

"Okay so...here we go, Genkai please do the honors."

She came over to us, said some freaky words and slapped our arms making both of us fall back with shock. "What babies..."

"What the hell was that?!" Hiei yelled as I rubbed my throbbing arm.

"Not another one! And you slapped _both _my arms with this shit so now both are sore!"

She said nothing. "That is a proximity spell. Neither of you will be able to get fifty feet from one another," Koenma explained.

Hiei bared his teeth. "WHAT?!"

"Oh shit, like Our Days Together?!"

And everyone looked at me again.

Okay, no I am not stealing anything from InuChimera7410. She gave me permission to use this idea.

Er, I mean no, this is really what happened! STFU!

"Anyway...this will make sure nothing happens to either of you. You are both responsible for each other. I came up with this one myself."

"So smart, Koenma sir," Botan ass-kissed.

"Yes, I am perfect, aren't I?" he laughed. "I need to go back to Spirit World to do further research and investigating. Botan, you stay here for this end of things. Toodle loo!" And he jumped through a portal before anyone could stop him.

And then it went eerily silent.

I looked at Hiei.

He looked at me.

And his hands went around my throat.

~TBC

* * *

**Dream: W00T! Yeah 8000+ baby! EAT THAT!**

Hiei: Egh.

Vhee: I really killed someone...

**Dream: Still having a hard time with that, huh?**

Vhee: I killed someone...

Hiei: The first is always the hardest. I hear.

**Dream: Uh huh. Anyway, little personal update y'all. Reality time. I got me a new puppy!**

Vhee: -stops shaking in corner abrutly- A PUPPY?! WHERE?!

**Dream: At my house where you will never go!**

Vhee: Oh.

Hiei: Ha.

**Dream: And new babies take time and love and time and time and did I mention TIME? Yeah, updates may be a wee bit slower than I anticipated since now this dog is the center of my entire life and will have to be unless I just wanna clean poop and pee off the carpets forever.**

Hiei: Excuses. Where have I seen this before? Oh, when stories are dropped, that's where.

**Dream: I will make Kuwabara fall in love with you next chap. And Genkai.**

Hiei: -inhales-

**Dream: And no, you won't be drunk and no, she won't be young.**

Hiei: -exhales-

**Dream: But I can write at night when she's asleep. I just did 3000 tonight alone. Just wanted to let ya know. **

Vhee: I want a puppy...

**Dream: I might give ya one.**

Vhee: Really?

**Dream: No, not really. It isn't in my rough draft.**

Vhee: -_-

**Dream: Q&A time!**

**Q&AWH CHAP 11:**

From: **BlackBelt**

"Do you like being touched or petted? I know this is awkward, but I have always been so tempted to see what your hair feels likes. Yes, fangirl creepy moment. But I had to ask to get it off my chest. Sorry!"

Hiei: Sure, I like being touched and petted, just not on my head...-smirk-

Vhee: -.-+

From: **Chaseha-Wing**

"...Hiei your doing this because of sweet snow right? ...Y don't you just kill Vhee, seel the sweetsnow or whatever it is you want, and just take the object? And if you can't kill her because she's human, then control her mind so that she just gives whatever it os to you, then disapear. That's perfectly legal as long as you don't hurt her, No offence Vhee."

PAUSE

(A/N: Okay, this is a problem I see with these Q&A things, usually with Hiei. People always ask why are you there, or why don't you just kill the author? Well, he can't answer that because it's a story plot, without him there's no Q&A, get it? And yes, it's OOC for him to be here asking fangirl questions, really, REALLY FREAKIN' OOC! But that's the way it is, ok?)

Hiei: -comes back from kitchen- Did I miss another heart wrenchingly boring question?

Vhee: Nope! Didn't miss anything! Next!

From: **Shezka-Foxe**

"Yellow! Okay, I get the whole wiry hair thing, gross, I understand...

(Vhee) If Hiei proposed to you, would you consider your life complete, and everything you've ever worked hard for accomplished? (I'm surprised no one has asked you this yet)"

Vhee: _**YES, MY LIFE WOULD BE COMPLETE! AAAHHH - **_No.

"Hiei, have you ever encountered any of the animals in demon world that nearly took your life?"

Hiei: Yes, they're dead.

"Do you consider my questions stupid?"

Hiei: You like being insulted?

"Have you ever met Raizen, face to face? Talked with him? Is Raizen mean at all? I mean, he's the strongest demon in Demon World, surely you must've wanted to challenge him? Or fight him?"

Hiei: No, I didn't meet him. I would have liked to fight him in his prime, though.

"If you did meet Raizen before, what happened/what did you two do?"

Hiei: Just imagine it for yourself since I never met him.

Vhee: -snickering-...Lemon...-snorting-

From: **Darkeiko**

"Um, what would you do if you ever found out your father's identity?"

Hiei: Kill him.

Vhee: Why?

Hiei: Guess.

Vhee: Hum, because he went with your mother, got her pregnant, and left her when she needed him the most, in turn abandoning you and Yukina?

Hiei: No, because I want to be the only one with hair that stands up.

Vhee: That was sadly funny...

"Final question! What kind of training did you have to endure before the Demon World Tournament?"

Hiei: Whatever Mukuro threw at me. I had to be at her beck and call every day.

Vhee: -raises eyebrow-

Hiei: Not like that, you perverted moron.

Vhee: Whatever. Next!

Hiei: -growls-

Vhee: -sneers-

Hiei: -snarls-

Vhee: -sneezes-

Hiei: -laughs- Moron.

Vhee: Phooey! NEXT

From: **chin12300 **

"Why do Hiei want the chapter black tape? It's seem pointless to me."

Hiei: I wanted to post it on YouTube.

Vhee: 700,000 hits and 567,432 comments on the first day.

Hiei: Something like that.

Vhee: And 10,000 videos of people watching it and posting their response.

Hiei: Like their eyes bleeding.

Vhee: And puking on themselves and shiting themselves and going insane screaming horribly as they run into the night and then their friend comes in and sees the camera and thinks yeah I'll post this.

Hiei: ...Yeah.

Vhee: Too bad you destoyed the tape.

Hiei: Sure about that?

Vhee: We saw it!

Hiei: Or did you?

Vhee: I hate you.

**Dream: Yes, we all hate each other here. 'Til later now, buh bye!**

Hiei: I get more screen-time here than I do in the story...

Vhee: OOC


	8. Happy fun time

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH

* * *

**Dream: Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't updated as quickly. I did warn ya about that, didn't I? This has also been changed to M cuz I am paranoid. There is so much cussing and adult content I had no choice. Sorry, Vhee has a dirty mouth and mind, yo. I think I'll keep the f-ck bleeping cuz it's funny. Unbleeped f-cks are special. So yeah. M rated now OoOoOo.**

Vhee: What happens?

**Dream: Oh, you'll see...**

Vhee: O.O

Hiei: Please kill me and get it over with.

**Dream: Nah...but you'll wish I did...-evil laughter-**

* * *

Heads or Tails

Chapter 8: Happy fun time

X -x-x-x-x- X

Green eyes carefully examined my neck. "I don't see any damage. I think he went easy on you because it's his body."

I swallowed, my throat burning. "I think he went_ harder_ because of that."

Kurama smiled gently. "At any case, you seem to be fine. I have a few questions I need to ask you."

I nodded. "I figured. Is that why you brought me alone to this room?"

One eyebrow raised and then he closed his eyes and chuckled, shaking his head. "Oh, I have reasons for everything I do. But you know that, don't you, _Victoria?_"

The way he said my name sent a shiver down my spine and right to the wrong spot. "Uhh..."

"You see..." and he stood up. "...you intrigue me..." Vines grew on the walls and up the door, closing me in with him. "And when I am intrigued, I must discover all I can to be satisfied."

I looked around, backing away from him as he approached me. "Uhm..."

"Do you know what intrigues me, _Victoria?_" I shook my head frantically as my back hit the wall, only to be held in place by vines. He got right in my face and licked his lips. "_You_."

I gulped. "Wha...? W-Why?"

He chuckled _dark._ "Why? _Oh._..I can smell your attraction to me. It excites me." He moved my hair off to the side, leaning in. "This is quite the interesting situation, don't you agree?"

I was panting now as he smelled the skin on my neck, his nose tickling me. "I...don't...why...please..."

"Please, what? You don't want me?" He bit back as he faced me, raising another eyebrow.

I never really thought about it like that. Yeah, he was cute and all and yes I was attracted to him but he was almost in my eyes unattainable. Like the guy you know you will never get no matter how hard you try. I didn't want him but I didn't_ not_ want him... "I...like you, yeah..."

He grinned. "Good. That will make things easier." And his hands slipped down my sides, rolling over my curves, sliding back up to cup over my breasts, eliciting a moan from my lips. "You like that?"

I swallowed. "Y-Yeah..."

"Do you want me to do it again?"

I nodded shaky as my thoughts became all jumbled. "S-Sure...if you want..."

"Oh, I want so much more than just simple touch, _Victoria_...so much more," he whispered in my ear as he massaged my chest, moving down to my hips and the apex of my thigh, gently rubbing me through my pants.

His hand began to slip into the waistband going lower and _lower,_ my body quaking and heating, tingling all over like my bones were quivering inside my limbs. "I want you to know something, _Victoria_..."

I let out a questionable moan.

"I much prefer you like this..." And just as his hand reached where I could feel him most, he turned off the Gazer. "Now I can fuck Hiei all night long."

I screamed as my body hit the floor, the blankets entangling my legs. I panted and looked around, seeing I was alone in my room.

I blinked a few times.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!"

HGJSRGKHFSKHGKJFHS I JUST HAD A WET DREAM ABOUT FRIGGEN KURAMA?! WITH YAOI UNDERTONES?! **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!**

I sleep with the Gazer off so I don't break it and I untangled the blankets seeing - yup, sure enough; Hiei's body responded to my dream.

There's another HxK moment for ya.

"UGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!" and I facepalmed over and over.

What the freak was wrong with me? That was the grossest thing I've ever imagined! Except that one time it was me and my old high school teacher Mrs - er, uh...never mind.

I shook my head and stood up, trying to make Hiei's stupid body calm down. I grabbed my necklace off the side table and turned it back on, not wanting to look at the reaction to my insanity.

_I can still **feel** it though eeeeeewwwwwwwww._

Oh, wait I skipped what happened, didn't I? Well, Hiei tried to choke me again and everyone clamored to get him off me as he screamed and bellowed horribly out of character.

"I'll show her close proximity within fifty feet!" Hiei kicked as Yusuke pushed him away.

"Hiei! Calm yourself!"

"Calm myself?! How would _you_ like to be trapped inside a worthless female?!"

Yusuke balked. "I wouldn't like it but I wouldn't try to kill my own body!"

Hiei fumed and stomped away, making it, guess what, fifty feet before we were both shocked, Hiei hitting the floor and me gyrating like I was trying to do the worm on Genkai's floor.

"Well, that was entertaining," Yusuke remarked monotone.

Hiei stood up and growled at me. "Get up you moron!" I blinked. "Now or I shock us again!" I did and stepped forward to help the distance. "Follow me." I sighed heavily as he led me to where the bedrooms were. "This is yours and this is mine. Anytime you leave, you let me know. Anytime you go anywhere, you let me know. If I don't want to go where you are, you won't be going anywhere, _period_. I swear to whatever god you pray to I will shock us both anytime you piss me off. Understood?"

I took a deep breath. "And the same can be said for you. Anytime _you_ piss _**me **_off, I can do the same."

He glared me down. "Just stay away from me. Forty nine feet away from me." He stepped into his room and slammed the door.

"DITTO YOU JERK!" I turned to see_ Kurama_ standing behind me. I jerked and turned back, hearing him sigh.

"I wanted to tell you...I had no intension of torturing you." I looked up at him. "I figured it might jolt you enough to talk."

"You were bluffing me?"

"In a way, yes. I don't know if Hiei thought I was serious or if he knew I was bluffing . He should know it was the latter," he finished a little louder as he glanced at the shut door. "I just wanted you to know. I wouldn't hurt an innocent."

I looked down at the floor and back up to him. Gone was the scary Kurama and back was the calm, kind Kurama that I loved. He looked nothing but gentle and sincere and even a little remorseful and I smiled at him in relief. "Okay, I understand, I guess."

He tilted his head, that thing he does. "You seem to know a lot about us."

I giggled nervously. "Yeah, well not everything and this place is a little different than what I know. Like Hiei would never scream like that in the anime. I wonder what else is different?"

He chuckled. "Perhaps an awful lot. There is no way to know. I hope...we don't disappoint you." His eyes flashed again with something and I shook my head.

"Nah..." It went uncomfortable between us. "So...how far is fifty feet? I feel like I need a tape measurer."

He chuckled again, and I remembered how much I liked that sound. "Well, I think when he is in the bedroom you can still go to the living room and kitchen. You won't be able to go outside."

Then it hit me. "Hey, why didn't Hiei go jump in a tree or something?"

He looked a little surprised but recovered with a smile. "He probably knows your body won't be able to withstand the elements."

"Oh...okay. Yeah, that wouldn't be good."

It went silent again before he shifted. "Are you hungry?"

I nodded. "Yeah, actually. Yukina tried to cook earlier but, uh..."

"Yes, I know." He made a sound and turned. "I think Yusuke has leftovers in the fridge."

"Alright..."

And after that I ate with the group and endured 5000 questions about my world, which I tried to evade cuz I remember Star Trek saying if you're from the future then you shouldn't tell the past people about it and stuff so I tried to stay bland. And then we went to bed cuz it was really late.

So you're telling me my subconscious turned that nice moment I had with Kurama into a SEX DREAM?! _I'm f-cked up, man._

I sighed and rubbed my face, taking in the calm silence before I heard a roar next door and then stomping and then oh shit Hiei just busted into my room and he's chasing me around it and oh God help me.

"What the hell?!"

"I'm gonna kill you!" he snarled as I hopped on the bed, holding out the desk chair like a circus trainer to a lion.

"Didn't we already do this dance last night?"

He seethed and paced back and forth. "I am trapped inside _your _body. A _human_ body. A _human __**female**_ body."

I deadpanned. "I'm not seeing any new information here."

He growled up at me. "You ignoramus! What happens to human females once a month?!"

I thought about it for a minute as I regarded his flared nostrils and tiny pupils like he was strung out on crack. _Oh, yeah. I was due for that, wasn't I?_ "Oh."

"Oh? OH?! You little -!" and he lunged for me again.

"Hey, gimme a break! You think I like waking up with a raging hard on every morning?!"

I ran from him as he chased me and I got far enough away to shock us again. Insert hilarious cartoon break dancing as we both fell to the floor.

"Well, they're awake," Yusuke commented dryly as he looked us over.

"It seems so," I heard Kurama and bolted up standing.

"Kurama! Uh, hi!" I sweat-dropped puddles onto the floor.

He blinked. "Hello."

"So, yeah! Nothing interesting or intriguing happening here! Nothing at all! Just two people trapped in different bodies of the opposite genders! There is nothing sexual about this!"

And they all gave me WTF looks. Yusuke leaned into Kurama. "I think that shocked her _too_ hard..."

"I agree."

And I laughed really awkwardly and rubbed my neck as Hiei came up behind me. "And you! Stop trying to hurt me! This isn't my fault! This was all just a random set of highly unlikely coincidences."

He grit his teeth at me. "Come to the bathroom with me."

As we went and I followed, only out of curiosity, I heard Yusuke whisper, "We sure it ain't sexual?"

I closed the door behind me. "How do I make this stop?" he demanded.

I shook my head. "You don't. It goes five days."

He growled. "And what do I do in the meantime? Sit on the toilet all day?"

"You put on a pad in your underwear." He gave me a look that said "I'm about to feast on your spleen" and I sighed. "A pad? Surely Genkai has some for us young ladies..." Someone knocked on the door. I opened it and there was Genkai holding out a box. She shoved it at me and slammed the door. "Oh. I guess she did."

I opened the box and took out a maxi pad. Hiei looked like he was gonna vomit violently. "Now we put this in your underwear and it will catch the...leaking."

His eye twitched. "Underwear? I'm not wearing any." I blinked.

You know...when I pictured Hiei saying that, it certainly was not in this context.

"Wait a minute. MY JEANS! TAKE THEM OFF RIGHT NOW BEFORE YOU RUIN THEM!"

Everyone looked at the bathroom door.

"This is your fault, you moron! You did this to me and now I have to suffer your body's functions!"

"I forgot about it, okay?! I didn't know anime people could do this stuff!"

"Apparently you are under the impression that we are not real. I can assure you; we are. Or should I drop my pants and prove it?"

"Oh, God it _is_ sex..." Kuwabara whimpered.

"That's so gross! It'll get on the floor! Sit on the toilet first!"

Yusuke gulped. "What position is _that?_"

"I will do as I wish and you will just have to clean it up since this is all your fault!"

"Oh, it was an accident, you jerk! You want my help or not?"

"Just put it in the jeans."

"It doesn't work that way."

"What difference does it make? It'll stick, won't it? Just do it and get it over with."

"Okay, what the hell." Yusuke knocked on the door. "What are you two _doing _in there?"

I turned to the door. "Smokin' a blunt! Leave us alone!" I sighed and faced Hiei again who had an eyebrow raised at me adorably. "Okay..." I turned off his Gazer and undid the jeans.

_I'm undressing myself, yeah this still isn't as bad as the dream._ "So, sit on the toilet." He rolled his eyes and did so as I stuck the pad in the lining of the jeans. Thankfully he hadn't stained them. "You really need underwear. It'll hold it in place better. I'll see if they have some extra pairs here." I looked up and even though it was my anime eyes glaring at me, I could see him. I thought I saw some relief too but he'd never admit that. "It'll be okay. It sucks but it isn't the end of the world. I am sorry this happened to you...I'm sorry for everything..."

"How much do you know about me?" he calmly asked, his stare not wavering.

I looked away while he took care of anything and pulled up the jeans, reactivating the Gazer. "Well...some stuff."

"Like what?" his own voice jolted me to look at him.

"Like...how you stole the Shadow Sword and fought Yusuke and then the Saint Beasts and..." His glare intensified.

"You know."

I gulped and fiddled with his bandages again. "Y-Yeah..." His eyes widened and before he could say anything, I blurted, "I won't tell! I promise! I would never!"

He narrowed them at me. "And why not?"

"Because...I know you don't want her to know..."

He stared at me, an unreadable expression on his face, only to turn and scoff at me."You know nothing." And he walked out of the bathroom, briefly pausing to groan and hug his stomach, then kept going.

"Yeah, nothing except my cramps are a bitch."

* * *

Random asshole: Okay...so...I'm confused.

Vhee: -sigh- What is it?

Asshole: When the Gazers are on, do they have the right genitals? You gave the impression that the Gazers changed everything, including that, meaning with them on, they look like their own genders.

Vhee: Yeah?

Asshole: So how can Hiei be having a period? What - when the Gazer's on, he's bleeding out of his -

**BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP**

Vhee: Let's just say he died a death too terrible to write.

Now it was breakfast time and oh what a fun experience this was. Why? Because Yukina is cooking.

How about a plate of black rolls of charcoal that should be sausage and brown eggs with strips of ash that used to be bacon?

Some guy: That's an American breakfast, not Japanese!

Vhee: _**OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STFU!**_

_Maybe _they were trying to be nice to me and cooked an American breakfast cuz they're super awesome like that. Emphasis on_ tried_ _to_ cuz yeah, friggen Yukina.

"You didn't finish telling us about your world," Kuwabara said with a full mouth.

"Yeah," Yusuke joined. "I wanna know how popular we_ really_ are."

I sighed. I guess there was no escaping the fact that I had to tell them_ when_ I was from. "Okay...so my world is kinda in the future from yours."

Yusuke choked. "The future? How far into it?"

"Like...seventeen years in the future..."

"_**WHAT?!**_" was the response all in unison.

"Yeah, the Japanese anime ended in 1994 and the American dub ended I think in 2004. Your show is actually pretty old. You have a following, no doubt but it isn't as celebrated as it once was."

"American dub? What does that mean?" Kuwabara asked after they all calmed down.

I picked at a burnt sausage. "There are two versions. The Japanese version and the American version."

They all looked at each other. "But...this _is_ Japan..." Yusuke started slowly.

Kuwabara scratched his head. "We aren't the Japanese version?"

"No..."

And they looked at each other again. "Okay, I'm confused," Yusuke drawled. "What is the difference between the two versions?"

My eye twitched. "One is in Japanese. The other is in English."

More exchanged looks. "So..._we_ are the American version?" Kuwabara thought aloud. "But that doesn't make any sense! We should be the _Japanese _version!"

"I don't get it," Yusuke rubbed his forehead. "We speak English...but...we're Japanese...and live in Japan...what the hell..."

And their brains melted a little bit.

"Koenma did say the Reality of Change would send her to a reality that was as close as possible to what she imagined," Kurama began his lecture. "Which means there is a reality where we speak English even though we live in Japan."

"Exactly!" I sighed in relief. "I bet there's a reality where you guys sound like the Japanese version too, but since I wasn't thinking of that, it took me here to this one."

"Lucky us..." Hiei spat from the living room.

I looked over and he was curled up on the couch, trying to look like he was just sitting but I knew that position all too well. I know Hiei can tolerate pain but he's in my body now, a _human_ body, and again my cramps are killer. I felt a wave of guilt sweep through me as I looked down at my plate.

_I've caused Hiei pain..**.I**...am the one hurting him..._

"Still don't get it, but whatever." Yusuke shook his head and laughed. "Maybe the whole world speaks English here. I never thought about it."

"Yeah, but I can't read English," Kuwabara said as he finished his plate, making me gag in response.

"Well anyway, it seems time moves more slowly here than it does in my world, or something like that. I dunno."

"So seventeen years...you're from..." Yusuke tried to do the math, resulting in an epic fail.

"2013, Yusuke," Kurama finished for him before he went brain-dead.

"WOW! Really?!" Kuwabara's eyes gleamed. "Do you have flying cars? Or holograms? Or robots?"

"That sounds cool," Yusuke joined.

I groaned. "No, we don't have that stuff." They all frowned. "Yeah, what we do have is cell phones. I dunno if you know what those are."

"Mobile phones. I've seen them," Kurama smiled at me and I looked away.

"Yeah, well these are way different. Smaller and thinner and can do so much more than just dial out. They can get online and take pictures and video."

"Wow, that's amazing!" Kuwabara picked up his plate. "Online? Oh, like the computers at the library?"

"Hey, yeah you would have Windows '95 by now, huh? I remember that. 98 is so much better and then they kinda crap out until XP."

Kurama seemed to know what I was talking about. "I shall remember that."

"Oh, and online changes so much in the way we communicate with each other. And the computers are way different than what you got now. Smaller and easier to carry."

"Laptops? We have those too." Kurama smiled like he was winning an argument.

"Yeah, but ours are smaller and thinner too. And can do so much more. It's hard to explain, really."

"Do you still have beepers? I just got one and it rocks," Kuwabara asked as he washed his hands.

We were all getting up, taking our dishes to the sink and washing our hands. I wanted to laugh, I really did, but I answered simply. "The new cell phones make those obsolete."

He looked disappointed. "Oh. So you can page people with your cell phones?"

I held my head. "Yes, Kuwabara. You can page people with them."

"Well, then that's cool."

"We have other stuff like new game systems and cars and stuff. Like VHS tapes get replaced with DVDs. They looks like CDs but with video."

"No more VHS tapes? Man, that sounds weird. But CDs that play video sounds much better. I mean, those tapes are so clunky," Yusuke laughed as we all finished.

"Yep. And there are more cameras in public places. Plus all phones are virtually camera phones. You pretty much can't do anything without it being broadcast online."

"That sounds...invasive," Kurama commented and I nodded.

"Yeah, well. You get used to it, I guess. Ya kinda have to. The world updates everyday and we all just have to catch up."

"But that's it? Doesn't sound like the future. I mean, I expected cool stuff like talking computers," Yusuke scoffed.

"One phone does talk back, sort of," I answered. "But no cool stuff like what most people thought 2013 would look like. I mean, look at 2001: A Space Odyssey. That's what they thought 2001 would be like and we ain't even close."

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. _2001. _They didn't know of anything that happened in that year. Would it happen here? Or was this world peaceful and simple and would be untouched by stuff like that? Unless an S class decided to blow it up and eat everyone or something.

I guess Kurama noticed my face and asked, "Are you alright?"

I sighed heavily. "Yeah, just kinda wore out..."

I walked into the living room and saw Keiko come walking in with Shizuru. Okay, now this chick scared me. She was tough and brash and would have no problem letting me have it and rub it in my face. I was so not looking forward to this. "Oh, hey, I told her," Keiko said as the older woman came to me.

She just stopped in front of me and stared me down. I swallowed hard and started to sweat. After a few seconds of her _looking_ at me with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth, she finally took it out and exhaled. "You should wear your hair parted to the side."

I blinked. "What?"

She put out the butt. "Yeah. Your face is too chubby for it to be parted down the middle. Wear it like this." And she moved my hair off to the right side.

"Oh, um...yeah, this isn't my hair. It's Hiei's. I'm not sure what you just did to it, so I'll wear it like this until I get my body back," I said as I put it back.

She shrugged. "Whatever."

She glanced over at Hiei who flashed a murderous glare in her direction before she grinned and turned back to me. "You can change clothes though, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I say we find you something better than this." She touched my tee shirt. "It's covered in stains."

And I looked at Hiei. "Yeah, I bet it is."

"I asked if she wanted to go shopping," Keiko said.

"_We_ are not going anywhere," was the response from the couch.

Shizuru looked at me questionably. "Koenma connected us. We can't go further than fifty feet from one another or we get shocked."

Keiko gasped. "Oh, yeah. I forgot about that..."

Shizuru raised an eyebrow. "Hm. If I were you, I wouldn't let him boss me around."

Hiei snorted. "You aren't her and she knows not to push me."

"You gonna let him treat you that way?"

I sighed. "Can we all go into the kitchen?" I walked there and the girls followed me. I saw Yusuke and Kuwabara follow too and glared. "Just us girls."

Yusuke grinned cheeky. "Why?"

"We're gonna talk about our periods," Shizuru said blandly to him and he shook his head, walking back to the living room, Kuwabara following with a disgusted groan.

Kurama was still in the kitchen and put his hands up. "No need to tell me." And he promptly left.

Yukina and Botan were in there talking and stopped when they saw us come in. "What's going on?" Yukina asked.

I looked at Shizuru. "So you know?" She turned to me. "About the period?"

"Huh? I was just saying something to make him leave. Whose period?" I gulped and looked down and she chuckled. "Oh, no way."

"What?" Keiko looked around. Shizuru just smiled at her and looked back at Hiei. "Oh..._really?_"

"He _is_ in a female body now..." Botan whispered.

"Seriously?" Shizuru grinned. "He is?"

I sighed. "Technically _I _am, or my body is...but yeah..."

Yukina let out a sad whimper. "Oh, no...that's awful..."

"Wow, I almost feel sorry for him but maybe this'll knock him down a few pegs," Shizuru chuckled.

"He's the only man to go through this. I wish Yusuke would just once," Keiko mused.

Botan laughed. "Keiko!"

"Every man should at least once. That and childbirth," Shizuru said as she lit another cig.

"Yeah, but I feel bad about it. My cramps suck big time. I didn't wanna hurt him..." I said (no duh I said it who else would be talking about this shit).

Shizuru scoffed. "It isn't your fault. But just because he feels like crap, doesn't mean he can order you around. Men expect us to do everything while we're going through it." She walked back into the living room and faced him.

He sneered up at her. "_What_."

"Yeah, we're going shopping and if you have to go with us, then you are. Deal with it."

"No, I am not or she will get shocked."

"And so will you in the _condition_ you're in," she combated and his eyes widened. "Yeah, we know. But the boys don't and if you refuse I just _might_ have to tell them. I wonder how they'll react..."

"I bet Kurama knows..." I commented and Keiko giggled.

"Sure, but Yusuke and Kuwabara don't."

Shizuru shrugged. "Kurama ain't a problem. My bro and the idiot are. You want them knowing you can't handle_ human_ _female_ cramping?" she teased, making him growl. "Then it's settled. Let's go shopping, tough guy."

Hiei stood up and faced her. "_Fine_."

"Hey, sis! Guess what?" Kuwabara asked as he came stomping in. "In her world, we're an anime series!"

Shizuru raised a morose eyebrow. "Then I better go get some tight spandex and jump around for no reason while holding a giant gun." She walked out with that, Keiko following leaving me alone with Hiei, Kuwabara and Yukina.

"You don't have to go if you don't want to..." I tried to say to Hiei before he scowled at me and began to walk out.

"You'd better follow unless you want to be shocked again."

"I should go to, just to make sure you're all protected," Kuwabara said gallantly.

"That's okay, Kazuma. We will be."

"No this Durn guy is still out there. I should go."

"We all should," Kurama announced as he came in with Yusuke.

"Yeah, hate to say it but I agree," Yusuke joined. "You have no idea what it's like to shop with Keiko, but I'm willing to suffer that to protect you all."

I looked back and forth. "Uhh but..."

Yukina smiled. "It'll be okay, Vhee. We'll have fun. We need to get out, you and Hiei more."

I nodded and was shocked to the floor. "I hate that midget..."

Kuwabara helped me up. "See? Told you he was evil."

* * *

So now begins the outing excursion from hell.

First we had to ride the train, which was a hell in and of itself. Kuwabara couldn't decide what kind of drinks he wanted causing Shizuru to beat his head in while Yukina healed him, Yusuke and Keiko argued over what stores they were gonna go to, Hiei sat and killed everyone on the train over and over in his mind and Kurama _wouldn't stop looking at me_.

Botan was the only civil one but that's because I f-cking forgot her** AGAIN**! Why do I always forget Botan?! Ugh. Okay, so she's there the whole time just in case I do it again.

So after the train we made our way into the city; _Yusuke's _city. This was fangirl central now. It looked _exactly_ the same as the anime. I could _feel _Sarayashiki City. I felt so safe here even though several monsters/psychopaths had tried to destroy it numerous times.

We made it to a nice clothing store and I was happy to see some clothes I might be able to try on. It was all nineties stuff, but hey it wasn't so bad. Jeans and tee shirts, I could do that. We agreed I would get gender neutral clothing so it would look good on both me and Hiei.

Couldn't buy a bra obviously.

I found a nice pair of jeans and a simple shirt, along with a jean jacket. I liked it. "Only one outfit and some underwear, okay? I'm not rich," Shizuru told me. I nodded and went into the dressing room.

Making sure I kept the Gazer _on _this time I put on my new ensemble. I looked pretty rockin' in it, I admit but I couldn't help but wonder how _Hiei_ would look in it.

_I've kept myself from fangirling hard this whole time, but I'll be damned if I don't check out how his ass looks in these jeans up close!_

So I turned off the Gazer and had myself a look.

Everyone turns to the dressing rooms as they hear Hiei giggling hysterically. The real Hiei knocks over a mannequin before stomping to the room.

I turned my necklace back on just as the door was pounded on. "What are you doing in there with that thing off?!"

"I wasn't!"

"We heard you, you moron!"

"Well, I just wanted to make sure _you_ looked good in these..." and he kicked the door open. "Wow, you still have strength in my body, huh?"

He pointed to me with his menacing point gesture. "You leave that thing on or so help me I will turn mine off and run down the streets naked."

I deadpanned. "It's called streaking."

He sighed in frustration as he balled his fists. "What is _wrong_ with you?"

I looked around innocently. "I was never loved as a child."

He pursed his lips. "Get over it. We've wasted enough time here."

I shrugged and got dressed in my clothes. Shizuru paid for them as well as some stuff for herself and Keiko conned Yusuke to buy her some stuff and Kuwabara insisted he would buy some stuff for Yukina.

Kurama and Botan didn't buy anything (Haha, I remembered Botan!).

So now, we had made that awful train ride for just an hour trip to the store. That seemed silly so of course logic would dictate that we should eat. And what better place than ""Let's go to my raman stand, guys."

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! ANOTHER FANGIRL WANT ACOMPLISHED! **BAHAHAHA.**

So we had to walk there a ways, just a few blocks but I was worried about Hiei. I know walking does not make this _condition_ any better but he would never admit having any trouble. I could tell he was feeling it though no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

It was a pleasant day, as we walked - the others conversing with each other, It seemed my newness had worn off pretty quickly, or perhaps they were uncomfortable around me, either way I was vapor as we walked.

Until Yusuke turned to me. "Hey, is my ramen stand in your show?"

I smiled. "Sort of. It's actually in the OVAs after the anime. It's featured in the manga too."

"So where are we in your show?" Kuwabara asked.

"A year after the OVAs. Kinda weird..."

"Whoa, it's weird for you?" Yusuke chortled. "How about this; in your world we're a friggen cartoon and oh yeah; you're also trapped in Hiei."

I groaned. "I don't need a recap, Yusuke! I know very well what's going on! Ugh, I hate when people do that. Repeat shit over and over like someone forgot! Soaps do that all the time and I get it's for new viewers, but come on..."

They all stopped and looked at me. "Uh, this isn't a show anymore, Vhee..." Yusuke finally said, and I sweat-dropped.

"Yeah, I know..."

"Maybe she doesn't," Hiei spat behind me. "If we truly are not real in her world and are nothing more than pathetic entertainment, then she will never see us as real."

I frowned. "That's not true! I do see you guys as real..."

"But you said we still look like cartoons to you," Kuwabara said and I cringed.

"Wait, we still look like freaking cartoons to you?" Yusuke asked.

"Give me a break! What's your favorite cartoon?"

Yusuke blinked. "I dunno...Bugs Bunny?"

"Well, how would you like to wake up in Bugs' body and in his world all alone and everyone in it hated you and didn't believe you and wanted to get rid of you?!"

"Geez, okay, okay!" Yusuke yelled. "God, you sure_ you're_ not the one on the rag?!"

And it went silent as everyone looked around. I gasped. "What?"

Keiko threw her hands up. "Yusuke!"

"What?! My hearing is better now!"

Kuwabara looked confused, as usual. "Wait, what? What's going on?"

"Uhh...nothing...just...Keiko's on her period!"

"Yusuke! I AM NOT!"

"You want me to tell him who _really _is?!"

"Why do I get the feeling that you're all keeping me out of something _again?_"

Hiei finally scoffed and turned to walk away.

"Where you goin'?" Yusuke yelled after him.

"Somewhere else."

I sighed heavily. "I better go."

"Should we...?" Yusuke asked.

"No, let them be," Kurama answered. "They need to be alone to figure this out together." He paused. "But I'll follow close enough."

Dammit, once again my plans to eat at Yusuke's ramen stand were foiled. _Stupid emo Hiei_. We walked for a while when we finally reached a bench. He hovered near it like he wanted to sit down, but never did. "Go ahead and rest. You probably need to."

"You think I can't handle human level pain? I've been through so much worse than this."

I sighed again. "Yeah, but you're in a body that has no idea what's going on and wants to rest. You need to take care of it just like I have to take care of yours. Unless you just want to totally mess this up."

He grunted menacingly and sat down, wincing a little. I sat next to him and kicked my feet. "So you going to the train station?"

"Hn."

Well, ladies (cuz I doubt there are gents) I just got my first "hn." _OMG OMG so damn cute eeeee. _"Uh, well...okay..." It was silent until I heard a tune being played in the distance. It came up the road and stopped for some children. "An ice cream truck! Hey, let's get some!" _Ahahaha I get a "hn" and eating ice cream in one sitting? Par-tay in the hizzouse._

"Ice cream?" he asked incredulously.

"Yeah...although I don't have any money..."

It went silent again before he took a breath. "Perhaps you don't need any." I looked at him. "You could get it for _free_..."

"How?" He tilted his head at me and I grabbed for my forehead with a gasp. "Really? But...how...?"

"Simple. Open it."

"Wait, Genkai put a seal on it."

"Pfft, she didn't put the seal on your skin, she put it on the cloth over it. Same with the Dragon. The seal is on the bandages and the cloth on the forehead. Take off the cloth and open the Jagan."

I looked around. "...but...I dunno about this...how do I control the ice cream man, cuz I know that's what you want..."

"You'll know. I'll guide you through it."

Hiei was actually being nice to me and looking at me and oh God it was really _Hiei_ and I just wanted to get along with him more than anything and I sound really f-cking pathetic right now. "Alright..." I deactivated my Gazer and reached for the bandanna, all the while crimson orbs staring at me. _Those damn eyes..._

It was off and he nodded. "Good. Now concentrate. Imagine the slit of flesh and open it."

I did as he said and pictured all the times he opened the Jagan in the series. I tried to imagine my own eyes opening and place it on my forehead. I was starting to feel a slight pull when - "Hiei, _what_ are you _doing_?"

My eyes snapped open and I looked up to see Kurama. "Nothing much. You?" was the sarcastic answer.

Kurama narrowed his eyes. "It looks like you are trying to get her to open the Jagan. Victoria, put the cloth back on immediately."

"But...did I do something wrong?"

"No, but Hiei did. Or perhaps he didn't tell you that when you open that eye it will overpower your human mind and take you over?"

I gasped as the bandanna was back on and reactivated my necklace. "WHAT! You what?!" I shrieked as I stood up, fists shaking.

Hiei shrugged. "I figured it would wipe out her mind. Then perhaps the Jagan would listen to my orders and then I could go as I pleased and not have to listen to her constant whining."

I screamed and kicked him in the shin, making him yelp. "YOU BASTARD!"

He jumped up. "How dare you!"

"How dare _you_?!"

"Stupid human!"

"Cocky demon!"

"Brat!"

"Jerk!"

"Idiot!"

"Jackass!"

"MORON!"

"TROLL!"

Ever have two Sims attack each other? It went kinda like that next. Literally we were rolling on the ground as I slapped him and punched him. I dunno if he was hitting me, more like shoving me and pushing me and pulling my hair._ Hey why isn't he __**hitting**__ me?_

Both our Gazers went on and off randomly as we rolled on the pavement and Kurama just watched with an eye twitching. "Um."

Finally, he pushed me off him and snarled as he stood up and turned his Gazer back on. "You...!"

I stood up thankfully as myself and got right in his stupid face. "I hate you! I hate everything about you!" (Anybody hear Three Days Grace?) "Kuwabara was right! I was thinking about you last because I like you the_ least!_" He went to retort but I kept going. "Everyone does! Yeah, you are the most disliked character on the show! _Nobody_ likes you!"

I vaguely heard Kurama say my name. "Everyone hates you, Hiei! In fact I was just in a chatroom talking with some people a while ago and we all agreed. They were like 'I dunno why he's even in the show, he serves no purpose at all! He's so worthless!' and I was like 'Yeah, totally!' So there Hiei, _no_ _one_ likes you. At all. _Ever_."

"_VICTORIA._"

I blinked at Kurama's harsh tone and looked at him. He shook his head at me with a look that simply said "shut the f-ck up". I turned back to Hiei and he wasn't looking at me, just off to the side at the ground. He didn't seem mad, just..._oh God._..

"Uhh..."

"You think I give a damn what a bunch of _disgusting_ humans in a different dimension think of me?" He closed his eyes and chuckled; that dark one he uses to hide in. "Please..." He turned and walked away. "You should follow or you will get shocked over and over. I could care less since this is your body. I wonder how much it can take in this _condition?_"

I sighed as Kurama gave me another look, this one saying "you idiot," and went with him to the train station.

_I didn't wanna say those things...why did I? God, I'm so horrible and stupid...so **stupid**..._

* * *

"Maybe he has hormones now?" Keiko commented after I told what happened, minus Yukina of course (and Botan cuz who gives a shit about Botan).

I looked at her from across the kitchen table. "Huh?"

"He's in your body now, right? But that's just his mind. The brain and chemicals and stuff are yours. Maybe stuff hurts him more now."

Shizuru shuffled the cards. "Makes sense."

I nodded. "I guess. What can I do? He's been locked in that room all day..."

Shizuru looked at the fridge. "Well, I know what works best."

So now here I am walking into the devil's pit with buckets of ice cream. This is starting to sound like a Sue fic. What's next; we bond and fall in love within 3 chaps? That would be so totally awesome. (-_-)

I opened the door, glad it wasn't locked and stepped in, seeing him sitting on the bed just staring out the window. He had taken off the cloak and was now in the torn shirt and jeans. "Didn't I tell you to leave me alone?"

"I know what's wrong with you."

He half scoffed half snickered. "Other than being trapped in your body?"

"Yeah, you're PMSing."

He blanched and snapped his head to me. "What."

"I couldn't figure it out; why you were acting so strange and screaming and stuff but now I know. You're being affected by my body like I would be during this time."

He blinked. "Oh, that's just great."

"No, it sucks but thankfully I have something to make it better."

He huffed, crossing his arms. "Is it a cure?"

I giggled. "No. Just something to make it better." And I got all brave and crawled on the bed with him. "Ice cream."

He became disgusted. "What, that again?"

"Yep. Here try this one." And I handed him the vanilla.

"This is pointless. Food won't help anything."

"No, but I know my body and what it wants and it wants to be comforted. Trust me."

He glared. "I'll _never_ trust you."

I have no idea why...but that shit really hurt. "Okay...can you at least trust that I want to take care of my own body right now?"

He made a rude noise. "Fine. If I don't like it, I'm not eating it."

I deadpanned. "I'm shocked and dismayed."

I handed him the vanilla tub and a spoon. He took a bite and swallowed with a grimace. "I don't like it."

"Really?"

"Really. What flavor is this?"

"Vanilla; it's the basic flavor."

"Well, it's hideous."

"Try this one. It's all Genkai has." I handed him the strawberry. I watched his face as he took a bite of it and he relaxed ever so slightly. "You like it?"

"It's tolerable," was his answer.

_So Hiei, _I thought with a giggle. "Uhm, I also wanted to tell you something..."

"What now..." he sighed as he took another bite.

I took a bite of the vanilla and gulped. "Well...I lied..."

"Oh, what - you actually matter in the world?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, okay, I lied about you and the show in my world."

"I don't care."

"You might. Because you're actually one of the most popular characters."

He stopped in mid swallow and looked at me. "Yeah, right."

"It's true. I only said that stuff because I was mad. You did just try to erase my mind and shit."

He shrugged. "So what, I'm really liked by a bunch of humans? How laughable. Like I care what anyone thinks of me."

"Mostly human females."

And he choked. "_What?_"

I nodded. "Yep. It's a toss up between you and Kurama but I really do think you win. In Japan, Kurama wins but in America, you do."

He blinked ever so innocently, that thing he does when he is truly mystified. "Females? Why?"

I chuckled. "Ever look in a mirror, hotshot? You _are_ pretty cute." _What the f-ck I just told freaking Hiei he was __**cute. **__I'm gonna die horrifically._

He shook his head, taking another spoonful. "I fail to see how that matters."

"It matters."

"To superficial human girls, I suppose."

"Ah, so you admit you know you're good looking, then?"

He choked again. I was liking this. "I did no such thing. I could care less how I look."

"Oh really now? Then why don't you walk around with green skin covered in eyeballs?"

His eyes widened, but he quickly recovered with a chuckle. "Heh. That drains my energy faster, you moron."

"I have a name."

"I don't care."

"It's Victoria. Or Vhee."

He gave me a look. "_Vhee_?"

"Yeah, see I hate Vicky and Tori just doesn't work so I chose my own nickname. I think it fits me."

He chuckled again as he took another bite. "I think moron fits you." And then he shot his hand to his head and held it, groaning in pain.

"I think it fits _you_ more now," I said laughing at his misery.

"What did you do to me?! You poisoned me!"

"No, it's brain-freeze. It happens when you eat it too fast. The blood is rushing to the cold spot in your mouth and that causes the pain (yeah, I'm smart). Probably wouldn't happen to demons but you're in a human body now so...yeah."

He moaned and shook his head. "Ridiculous. You humans all the more prove how weak and pathetic you are."

I shrugged. "Maybe. I dunno..."

It went silent before he went for more ice cream and we ate together not saying anything.

"Am I your favorite?"

And it was my turn to choke. "What?"

"You heard me."

"Uhh..."

"I am, aren't I?" He grinned, showing shark teeth. "That's why you thought of me. You'd have to be thinking of someone hard to use the Mirror. Admit it."

"I uhh...I dunno...I like Kurama and Yusuke too..."

"But you like me best, right?" and he leaned in, spreading some of the ice cream on my lips and licking it off slowly, sucking my bottom lip. Before I could react, he threw me on my back, ripped off my shirt and dumped the strawberry ice cream - which had melted - all over my chest, then straddled me.

He leaned in and huskily whispered, "You're just what I always wanted..." He let out a sultry growl and licked my earlobe. "...a female Kurama with huge tits."

My body hit the floor again as I jolted from yet another f-cked up dream. "OH DAMMIT!"

Needless to say that didn't happen last night but the rest of the convo did. After the brain-freeze we said nothing and I left to go to bed.

"Urg, why am I having sex dreams?! I never have those! Except those times in high school!" And I facepalmed again. I left the Gazer on this time so I didn't have to see if my lovely new bod was reacting to it again.

I mean come on...Hiei's body reacting to himself WTF.

I groaned and went back into my bed, hearing a knock at the door. "Yeah?"

Hiei came in a with a confidant smirk. "I know what's wrong with you."

"Huh?"

"Sex dreams? Yeah, your voice carries."

I gulped, turning beet red. "Y-Yeah? So what?"

He chuckled. "I might be having PMS but you're suffering mating season. Have fun with that." And he slammed the door, laughing manically as he went back to bed.

I blinked a few times.

"WHAT THE SHIT SPRINKLED FUCK?!"

~TBC

* * *

**Dream: Ah...another fanfiction cliché turned upside down. I wonder how Miss Vhee shall handle this predicament?**

Vhee: Thats awful!

Hiei: -laughing hysterically-

Vhee: O.O I didn't know he could do that...

**Dream: How cute. More questions!**

**Q&AWH CHAP 12:**

From: **Trappersgirl**

"Hiei, how is it that when you were in demon form that one time, and you got defeated, you went back to human form? Wouldn't you stay in demon form if you were knocked unconscious because that's your true form and you were out cold so wouldn't be able to maintain your disguise?"

Hiei: I was born in my seemingly human form. Some other apparitions are as well. When I raise my spirit/demon energy to a certain level, my _true_ form comes out. As for Goki he really did look like the monster and used his energy the other way, to disguise himself. So, unfortunately I look like this naturally...

Vhee: That's good though...

Hiei: For you rabid fangirls.

Vhee: Hee.

From: **BlackBelt**

"Can I pet you once? Just to see how it feels and then never again!"

Hiei: Where do you wish to pet me, woman?

Vhee: Quit teasing her...

"What is it you like to cook?"

Hiei: Food.

"What brings a smile to your face? Or makes you laugh or happy?"

Hiei: Massive carnage.

Vhee: Ugh...

"If for some unexplainable reason you ever had to get a job within the human-society...what would you prefer it to be or what do you think you would be good at?"

Hiei: Professional hit man.

Vhee: Didn't see that coming.

"Another "if for some unexplainable reason" question. You going on a date with a girl and you were left in charge of it; what would you do and where would you go?"

Hiei: The bedroom, and I think you know the rest.

Vhee: ...

From: **Aeir-Ravenia**

"Have you ever been in a hospital?"

Hiei: I had to go when the fool broke his leg after he tripped on my foot...accidentally.

"Have you ever had a random moment? For example: You went for karaoke. O0"

Hiei: Sure. Once, I randomly killed this guy for no reason.

Vhee: Surely you had a reason?

Hiei: He blinked.

Vhee: -.-'

"Vhee- I. Evny. Your. Writing. Skills. Honest."

Vhee: Oh, um, thanks!

"If you were the creator of YYH, what would you do to it?"

Vhee: Absolutely nothing. Except no freaking Mukuro! And maybe Gonzo could have made them hotter...And maybe a horror plot line, like a serial killer that can't die or something...

Hiei: Stupid.

Vhee: AND I WOULD PUT HIEI WITH KURAMA!

Hiei: You would kill yourself first. I know you.

Vhee: ...Yeah...

"Have you ever played the computer for 5 hours straight?"

Vhee: Pfft, try having the poor thing on for _8 _hours. Sims 2 and The Movies. Years I'll never get back...

Hiei: Good. You'll die faster from rotting your brain.

Vhee: Dur...wut?

From: **DarkDragon913**

"...I know i'm a horrible person...ONWARD!"

Hiei: At least you admit it.

"What do you do to pass the time/for fun? Just chill with Vhhe? Train? What?"

Hiei: I kill fangirls.

Vhee:** :**O

"About how many times have you had sex total?"

Vhee: ...

Hiei: -thinks- Carry the one...About 50 times.

Vhee: And you're only 27 so when did you start?

Hiei: When I reached maturity.

Vhee: And when was that?

Hiei: Years ago.

Vhee: Ugh!

"Have you heard about the pairing HieixBui, and how do you feel about it?"

Hiei: Indifferent.

"What would you do if Yusuke and Kuwabara got together? (or Yusuke and Kurama or Kuwabara and Kurama?)"

Hiei: Laugh my ass off.

"Sorry for so many question! Thanks if you answer them and if you don't I still love you!"

Hiei: Really? YAY!

From:** Kana**

"Hey, Hiei I had a totally valid question?

In the movie poltergeist report, you broke your sword on Yakumo's arm while fighting him...

...now here's the question...how did you fix it? Or did you just threaten that one demon again who made, the sword, to make you another one?"

Vhee: Now THAT'S a question a lot of us have, and not just in the movie, in the eps you break your sword twice. WTF?

Hiei: Oh, for the, love of rice! It's a f-cking carto-

-really big fire truck goes by blaring it's sirens and blocks him out-

Vhee: Huh?

Hiei: Never mind. I repair my sword with my flame, welding it back together.

From: **Shezka Foxe **

"(For Hiei) Ye know, what I find hilarious is that here walks in one of the sexiest guys in the anime, the bad ass of the whole series, and everyone thinks you're the cutest thing since kittens. Including me, actually I did a quick little survey, and found that most of you fans ARE your fans because they think you're cute and adorable. Isn't that ironic?"

Hiei: Sure.

"What were you thinking exactly when, in the third season at the beginning, everyone kept picking on you for saying the word hot?"

Hiei: I wish I hadn't.

"Why did you say it? I mean, we all know you're a flamer...but come on Hiei..."

Hiei: I wanted to be funny.

"Did you do like, screenshots for the beginning of the series? You know when you see the opening theme and you and everyone else is jumping all over the place..."

Hiei: Uh huh.

"How come, in the first theme, when you're leaping over Kurama, why do you shove/push him down?"

Hiei: He was hogging the camera.

From: **Kurama's Sister**

"Vhee:

Have you seen the YYH movie? "

Vhee: Uh, which one? Never mind. I own both of them. Poltergeist Report is the most famous, though that's not really it's name. It's Bonds of Fire or something like that...The other, I believe its' name is, The Golden Seal. P.S. Never watch Golden Seal in the English Dub. HORRIBLE.

Hiei: We all had the flu.

**Dream: Thankfully, it has been redubbed by FUNimation now.**

Hiei: We re-shot it exactly the same.

Vhee: Yeah. Sure.

**Dream: Thanks for all the love! Next week I may not update cuz my mom is having surgery. So it may be a while. But I shall return!**

Vhee: Keep her in your thoughts!

Hiei: -starts laughing hysterically again-

Vhee: Is he okay?

**Dream: -reads catnip label- I see nothing about demons here.**

Vhee: -_-


	9. Some stuff happens

Disclaimer: I don't freakin own YYH

* * *

**Dream: Heyo! Sorry it took so long but I had to take care of my mom. The surgery went very well and I am back to cause more havoc.**

Hiei: Joy and rapture.

Vhee: I'm so glad.

**Dream: Yes. And now some smut.**

Vhee: WHAT?!

Hiei: It better not be with me.

Vhee: HJGFSHJSFJDHGKJSDH

**Dream: Well, smutty thoughts anyway.**

Vhee: **:**O

Hiei: You are evil...I like it.

**Dream: Why thank ya.**

Vhee: He likes her and not me...

**Dream: Oh, get over it. He'll hate me very soon...**

Vhee: O.O

Hiei: -_-

* * *

Heads or Tails

Chapter 9: Some stuff happens

X -x-x-x-x- X

I think foam was coming out of my mouth as I fumed on my bed. No really, white poofy stuff spilling down my face as I totally lost my shit all over the place.

Mating season?! That crap is real?! That's just fannon! _Then again so were the tear gems..._ NO! This can't be true! He's f-cking with me cuz he's Hiei...and evil...and _Hiei!_ There's no way! I stomped to his room and kicked open the door, seething at his confidant smirk. "YOU!"

He blinked. "Me."

"Yeah, I got your strength to knock down doors too, pal!" And the door fell off the hinges with a huge crash to the floor. "Oh f-ck."

"Heh heh." He picked at a nail (one of mine dammit don't break those!). "You've got about ten seconds before Genkai comes here and beats you into oblivion. And I'll let her to get some peace."

"There is no way mating season is real!"

He looked at me. "And why do you say that?"

"It wasn't in the anime! It's a fan made thing!"

His eyes narrowed. "The..._fans_...make up stories about us?"

Boy, did he hit the nail on the head with that one. "Uhm...kinda...like we talk about stuff and think up theories..." He glared at me and I gulped. "But that doesn't matter! It wasn't in the manga or anime! It can't be real!"

He swung his legs off the bed and stared me down. "This isn't your little_ cartoon_ anymore. This is _our_ world and perhaps some things in here don't match your idiotic, pathetic entertainment. Get over it. It _is_ real and you will just have to deal with it like I am with you." I bit my bottom lip. "You're sucking on my lip."

Again, something I didn't think Hiei would say in this context. I sighed and hung my head. "It's really real?"

"How did you find me when you woke up in my body?"

I gasped. "_That's_ why you were out there with your shirt off and all sweaty? Oh, GOD! Dude, you stank! Is that how you attract someone?!"

He scoffed. "I wasn't trying to attract anyone. I was trying to be alone."

"EWWWWWW!"

"Training, you idiot!"

"Yeah, you can call it whatever you want..."

He sighed and rubbed his temple. My period must be giving him a migraine. "Look, I didn't want to be around anyone at that time and if you're smart - which is completely impossible - then you will do the same."

"What are the symptoms?"

He chuckled and laid back down on the bed, his hands behind his head. "Oh, I have no intension of telling you that. You wanna know? Ask someone who gives a damn."

"Oh, you little...YOU ASS!"

"You're thinking about my ass? It's already started."

"I didn't...! I wasn't...!" My eyes moved.

"Now you are."

"I AM NOT! SHUT THE F-CK UP!"

"You have a dirty mouth. Perhaps your mind will be just as dirty. I _almost_ feel sorry for you. _Almost._"

I screamed and the last thing I remember was Genkai's fist headed for my cranium and then purple stars flying around my head and birds tweeting and when _was_ the last time I Tweeted something and then some shrieking and gagging sounds right before I passed out.

The sunshine poured through my new window and I groaned rubbing my poor headache head. "Oh, I don't think I ever really liked her anyway..."

So I guess mating season was real after all and if I wanted to know what would happen to me I'd have to ask someone.

And there was only one person that would know.

_One_ person.

The _worst_ person.

The devil in sheep's clothing.

Prepare for fangirl screams as I type his name; _Kurama. _Freaking Kurama. It's always Kurama. ALWAYS. Remember that.

UGH JFHHFKFHKJHFKHF WHY IS THIS SHIT HAPPENING TO ME?!11111111111

A little girl knocks on a door, which opens to reveal a young woman with red hair and green eyes. "This is my brother who needs an operation. Can you please buy some cookies for him?" she asks pointing to a pale skinny boy sitting in a wagon.

The redhead blinks and takes out a can of mace. "How many times do I have to tell you?"

Spray in face.

OKAY! NO! That is NOT what happened at all...it was totally accidental and it was Lysol cuz he was coughing everywhere. I am _not _a bad person!

I sighed heavily and went to the kitchen, hoping to just get through this as easily as I could. After all, my mind is female and we are so much better at controlling ourselves than men. Since when have any of us heard someone say, "Well, if she had only kept it in her pants!" or "All women want is sex!" or a man scream at his girl "All you want is my body!" and run away crying? Pfft, I can handle this.

And then I walked into the kitchen and Yusuke was cooking shirtless.

"What the hell?!"

He turned to me. "Oh, hey."

"Why are you naked?!"

He blinked. "Huh? Oh, that. Yeah, the grease flipped up on my shirt and Keiko hates that so I just took it off. Easier to shower than listen to her yell."

I tried not to, I really did, but my eyes traveled down his torso to his ripping abs and back up to his arms which I always liked better. He was sweating due to cooking and it glistened off every detail making him shine like a new penny or a melting popsicle just for me. "Want some sausage?" the voice I've had a crush on since I was 15 asked and my mouth watered.

"Oh, yeah..._your _sausage, Yusuke..."

"Huh?"

And then next thing I knew, he was under me and I was nibbing on his neck. "Where did you say the grease popped on you?" I huskily asked as he tried to get away, rubbing a _very_ pleasurable spot down below my waist.

"OH MY GOD! YOU FUCKING HAVE A HARD ON!" He threw me off him and that snapped me out of my daze as I hit the wall. "What the hell?! You licked me with HIEI'S tongue! WHAT THE HELL?!"

I blinked a few times as I sat up. "You mean...this isn't another dream?"

"Another dream?! What the hell are you talking about?!" And I started crying, the gems hitting on the floor and rolling all over. "What the..."

And the pan on the stove caught on fire causing Yusuke to curse again as he went for it, burning himself and screaming as the pan went flying, flaming sausages hitting the wall and sliding down leaving a trail of burning grease to the floor.

Yusuke was blowing on his hand and sticking it under cold water when Yukina came in, gasping at the scene. "Oh my!" She turned to the combustion of meat and shot her ice powers, freezing the sausage and putting out the flames, but that also froze the room and Yusuke who had his hand under the water and now his hand was stuck in a frozen stream. "OH!"

Yusuke swore things even my foul mouth had never thought of and Yukina unfroze the room just as Yusuke pulled his hand away and fell on his ass, sliding on the floor from the melted ice to the counter that held other breakfast ingredients, including flour for pancakes which fell on him and exploded.

Now the room was covered in wet flour and burnt breakfast meats.

Kuwabara came sasquatching in and bellowed, "YUKINA! What happened?!"

"Oh, Kazuma...it..."

"Why are your tears on the floor?! What made you cry?!"

She looked to where he was pointing and then to me. There was no sadness, no fear, no disappointment, no nothing. Not a single emotion crossed her face. She looked up at Kuwabara. "I was upset that Vhee fell and Yusuke burned his hand, but all is well now. I put out the fire with my powers." She wiped her eye. "It's okay now."

"Yeah, swell," Yusuke spat as he stood up. "I'm gonna go take a nice scalding shower and burn about eight layers of my skin off." He stormed out and I just looked down, feeling ashamed.

I guess being a female means jack shit. My brain is still that of a male demon who apparently is a giant pervert.

Genkai came in and growled. "You just cause chaos everywhere you go, don't you? Seriously, did the ass kicking last night leave no impression? "

"Relax, Genkai. It was all Urameshi's fault. He hurt Vhee and made Yukina cry. I'm gonna kick his butt...when he gets out of the shower..." and Kuwabara offered to help me up but I did that on my own. The flour on me was dry so I dusted it off and ran outside.

Or tried to when I made it to the door and facefaulted to the hardwood. "Damn you, Koenma!"

Which caused Hiei to howl and run out of the room. "What did I tell you about asking me permission first?!"

"Screw you, man! I've had a really bad morning!"

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Who did you try to seduce?" I looked up at him as he lorded his stupid ass over me. "Anyone could be a victim in your clutches. Tell me, who was it?"

I sneered. Then I grinned maliciously. "Yukina, jackass."

And he paled. "_What?_"

"Yep, I totally went for her. You don't believe me, go look in the kitchen. Her tears are all over the place." I think he actually turned green. Apparently this mating season makes you have lots of stupid confidence. And pure wickedness. "Just think Hiei; I almost kissed your sister with _your_ mouth."

His nostrils flared and before he could reach me I footed him in the abdomen. Right in the ovaries. That doubled him over and I stood up, lording _myself _over _**him**_. "TAKE THAT YOU BASTARD! THAT'S FOR NOT TELLING ME THE SYMPTOMS!"

"Symptoms?" _That voice_ sent a chill up my spine and before I could react, a hand was pulling my ear into a bedroom.

"Wait! The connection thing!"

"This is well within fifty feet," he stated as he closed the door. "I thought so but now I have confirmation. You are in the mating month?"

"Hiei's body is. And mating month? You mean this shit is gonna last a whole MONTH?!"

Kurama shook his head. "No. It lasts a week and is just one month a year."

"Oh. Like a period only once a year." I rubbed my hands together. "Ha! That jerk! I only have to suffer this one week and he has to suffer mine once a month until we switch back!" and then I laughed like Melvin from Dexter's Lab.

"Did I mention it gets worse throughout the week, until it peaks with the intense urge to mate that is almost uncontrollable?"

I stopped dead and gulped. "W-What?"

"Hiei probably has the mental will to control it. You...probably not."

"WHAT?! I'M GONNA WANNA HAVE SEX?! WITH HIEI'S _**DICK?!**_** WHAT AM I GONNA DO**?!"I wailed and hyperventilated.

And Kurama waved some leaf thing under my nose and knocked me out.

* * *

When I woke up again I had another killer headache. "Oh man, he chloroformed me..." I sighed and heard a knock on my door.

"Vhee, are you awake?" was Yukina's soft question.

"Yeah, unfortunately..." I grumbled, seeing her open the door with a tray full of tea.

"This might make you feel better."

"You forget I'm not the one having cramps."

She giggled. "This is a special brew my people used to make. It quells the desire to mate."

I blinked. "Really? Wow! Yeah, please give me some."

She set the tray betwixt us (bet you don't see that word often and yes, it_ is_ a word). "But I will say the formula is for women and you are inside a man...I'm not sure if it will affect you the same way, even though he is of our blood."

I coughed the whole sip I just swallowed all over the floor. "W-what!" I managed to squeak between hacking.

She smiled ever so gently. "You don't have to hide it. I know. I have for a while."

I rubbed my burning throat. "Ohh...I figured..." She looked at me. "The anime seems to suggest that you know."

She blinked a few times. "Oh, I see." She giggled again. "How odd." She took a sip of her tea and paused when I stared at her. "Hiei and I are twins, remember?"

"You're going through mating season too?!" She nodded and took a drink. "Ho my gawd! Then Hiei knows you are but won't say anything 'cause he's an asshole but he knows and OMIGOD what about Kuwabara?!"

She sat down her cup. "What about Kazuma?"

"Does he...know? And do you...want to...with him?"

She looked away with a blush. "Sometimes, but I know I can't. We aren't ready for that. I'm not sure we ever will be. I love him...I know that...but I'm not sure if I'm _in_ love with him...or even what that means..."

I sighed. "Yeah, me too. I've never been in love. Not really." I looked at Hiei's bandages. "I mean with anyone rea..." I stopped and cleared my throat before I said something monumentally stupid and Mary Sue.

Random asshole: You love -

Vhee: -dumps ten billion cheese balls on him- Ahem.

Yukina hummed as she drank. "The blend is wonderful. I think it will help." I sighed and took a drink. I was expecting it to be awful cuz her cooking is but this was delicious! I said so and she laughed. "Yes, I am able to make tea and not much else."

The door knocked again and I heard Botan. "Can we come in?"

"Um, sure." And then Botan, Keiko and Shizuru were in my room. "Wow...uh, what's up?"

"Red told us that you might need 'womanly cheering up,'" Shizuru said as she lit another cig. "In other words; girl talk."

I looked at Keiko and looked away feeling sick. "What did Kurama tell you?"

"He told us that Hiei's body is in heat. And that means you are," Keiko said as she sat down next to Yukina on the bed. Shizuru took a chair and Botan sat indian style on the floor.

I nodded. "Yeah, did you talk to Yusuke yet?"

"No, he's still in the shower. Why?"

I looked away. "No reason."

Botan loudly and obviously cleared her throat. "So..."

"So what. We technically do the same thing," Shizuru commented dryly. "I know I get horny once a month."

"Shizuru!" Botan scolded and she shrugged.

"Just sayin'. It's not a big deal."

Yukina smiled. "I'm just glad I can help since I am experiencing it too."

Keiko gasped. "You are? How odd that you and Hiei are at the same time..."

Awkward silence.

Yukina tilted her head. "Oh, Keiko doesn't know? I thought you would've told her."

"YOU KNOW?!" Botan fell over.

Yukina blinked innocently. "Yes."

Keiko looked around. "Know what?"

"That Hiei is Yukina's brother," Shizuru stated as she blew out smoke.

Keiko gasped. "The one she's looking for? Wait a minute...what?"

I sighed heavily. "Hiei doesn't want her to know but she does anyway and I guess she doesn't want him to know that she knows 'cause it might upset him and she doesn't wanna rock the boat. So everyone knows about 'cept you and Kuwabara but I guess you know now."

Keiko just stared blankly. "Oh, uh...wow, okay." She looked at the smoker. "Why didn't you tell me?"

She shrugged. "I saw the tape saying he was her brother. I figured it wasn't my place."

Keiko nodded and gently hit Botan on the leg as she sat up. "Why didn't _you_ tell me?"

She wailed with big anime tears. "'Cause Hiei woulda killed me!"

I shook my head and smiled. "No, Botan...he wouldn't." They all looked at me. "Think about it; when Ruka trapped him in that tent, he could have killed her - he_ should _have, but he didn't. He let her live after she humiliated him in front of everyone." I smiled. "And Botan...when he grabbed your wrist in that creepy house to keep you from putting the seals on him, did he hurt you?"

She put a finger to her chin. "No...he didn't have that strong of a grip on me now that I think about it..."

"That was after the Dark Tournament and according to Koenma, he had the strength of Toguro at that time. Think what Toguro did to Yusuke. Hiei coulda snapped your wrist like a twig and he didn't."

Botan gasped. "Oh, but he wouldn't anyway because of the rules. You can't hurt a ferry girl."

I shook my head. "You don't get it. He doesn't hurt girls period."

Keiko nodded. "Yeah, like I remember him just putting me off to the side and leaving me there. I was unable to move or fight back and he could've done so much to me, and he didn't."

We all looked at her. "Keiko...you remember what Hiei did?" Botan whispered.

She shrugged. "I know he kidnapped me and Yusuke beat him. I don't really know everything because Yusuke won't tell me."

Botan gulped. "Well, that's what happened! He knocked you out and kidnapped you and Yusuke beat him silly!" She laughed like she does when she's scared shitless and rubbed her neck.

Keiko scrutinized her. "Is it?" She turned to me. "Really?"

Botan gave me a pale pleading look and I inwardly rolled my eyes. "Yeah, that's what happened. He didn't hurt you."

Keiko didn't seem convinced but nodded anyway. "Alright."

I sighed. "Guys, I really just wanna be alone right now and I know you wanna help but I dunno if you can. I just have to stay away from men, I guess."

"But...wait." Shizuru stood up and put out the butt on the wall. "Wouldn't that body want females? Or is Hiei gay?"

Insert another spit-take from me and Botan at the same time. "OH GOD!" I screamed. "I don't know that, man!"

She laughed. "Well, if you like guys and he likes girls wouldn't his brain be attracted to girls? Or is this all a mind thing?"

I groaned, holding my head. "It is totally a mind thing, okay?" And I left out the part that I find women attractive too. Don't get me wrong, I like guys more - MUCH more but girls can be pretty hot too and there have been times that...er - uh...oh shit; if Hiei's brain _does _like girls then that means the like _I_ have will be that much stronger and I'm f-cked.

However, none of the chicks in this anime dress like some others do with giant bewbs flopping and jiggling every other frame. Maybe it won't be so bad since they all look like lesbians. And not the good kind either.

She shrugged. "If you say so. Let's leave her alone, guys."

Yukina stayed behind. "Drink it up. It'll be okay." She smiled and left me to my thoughts.

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock...

Well, this was exceptionally boring. What the hell was I supposed to do now? Lock myself in this room and drink tea all day? What am I, British?

Rim-shot.

_Eh, I guess I have to go outside sooner or later. _So I finished my tea and walked out.

And saw Yusuke standing in the bathroom door, dripping wet and wearing nothing but a towel.

The blood drained from his face as I regarded the water rippling off his toned biceps down his shining torso to his panting stomach. His hair was matted to his face, water droplets slowly running down his innocent cheeks finally falling off his chin.

And I blinked. "Huh. Nothing. Zip. Nada. That stuff works! Thanks Yukina!" And I happily marched away, leaving Yusuke to recover from his heart attack.

I strolled into the kitchen to see Hiei at the fridge, freezer door open and eating the strawberry ice cream straight out of the bucket. "AH HA!" I pointed an accusing finger.

"Ah ha what?" he blandly retorted as he slammed the door and went to a stool.

"You like ice cream! ADMIT IT!"

He blinked and took another bite. "I never said I didn't."

I sputtered and stuttered. "You...you didn't?"

_Quote from chap 8: "It's tolerable," was his answer._

Oh, I guess he didn't. Damn. "So, do you only like strawberry?" He said nothing and just kept eating. "Would you try any other flavor?" Still nothing. "What are you gonna do when it's all gone?" Nope, nothing. "Did you know that Kuwabara has pictures of Yukina naked?"

He spit it all over the counter. "What?!"

"Haha, I win."

"You!" He slammed the spoon down. "Why don't you go choke on something?"

"Why don't you go stick your head in a gopher hole?"

"Get a purpose in life."

"Get an emotion in life."

He grunted. "That makes no sense. Must you always prove how idiotic you are?"

I crossed my arms. "Must you always be such a prick?"

"How can one be a prick? Do you even know what that word means?"

I huffed. "It's a human term, okay? It means asshole!"

He chuckled. "Pricks and assholes, huh? You got it bad..."

"UGGGGGH! For your information, Yukina gave me some special tea to help with it. 'Cause you know she's going through it too." He looked up. "And she totally knows, by the way." Guess _I'm _the prick now.

He narrowed his eyes. "Knows _what_?"

"That you're her brother. She told me."

Random asshole: Okay, hold up.

Vhee: What.

Asshole: You're just gonna tell him? Just like that?

Vhee: Yeah. Cuz I hate fics where they just keep it secret for endless chaps and just ugh. It gets old. So yeah. Now die. -snaps fingers and he is eaten by a Syfy style yeti-

Some guy: You know he'll be back.

Vhee: Yeah, I know. -snaps fingers and he is eaten as well- Ah, I feel better.

Rabid fangirl: YYH QUOTE! YYH QUOTE!

Vhee: ... -and Mr. Yeti eats her too but not before she glomps him-

The look on his face was a dangerous gleam, that _one_ he gets. "You're _lying_."

"Am I? Go ask her yourself if you don't believe me."

He snarled as he stood up, throwing the spoon across the room. "_You_ told her!"

I swished my hips. "She already knew. Has known since the Dark Tournament. _She _told _**me**_."

He spat at me. "As soon as this is over, I _will_ kill you." And he stomped off without me following him and soon... "AGH!"

Yeah, it hurt me too but it was worth hearing him react. "And that's what you get for messin' with me," was my smart remark as I got up off the floor.

Perhaps his body was giving me confidence. Perhaps I was stronger now. Perhaps I was always just an evil bitch so who gives a f-ck.

I shrugged and walked over to his smoldering body. "Hehe, shit works both ways doesn't it, hot stuff?"

He growled as he got up. "Figures I'd be trapped inside someone suicidal."

"Oh, please. You won't kill me. I'm human and a girl."

"What does your being female have to do with anything?"

I smiled. "You don't hurt girls."

"You must have me confused with that fool. I have hurt women before."

"Name them."

He blinked a few times. "_Name_ them? What kind of asinine request is that?"

"Well, if you hurt some women then tell me their names."

He rubbed his temple. "I never got to know my opponents personally, you idiot."

"Then what did they look like?"

His head snapped up. "_Look _like? What are you..."

"If you hurt or killed some women then tell me what they looked like. Explicit details, please."

He shook his head in true exasperation. "What is _wrong_ with you?"

I shrugged. "I just can't believe you hurt any girls unless you give me details."

"I refuse to play this ridiculous game with you. I'm not telling you anything."

I grinned, knowing Hiei speak. "And that means you didn't do anything."

He considered me. "How do you figure that? Your little show tell you that?"

"Somewhat," I admitted. "I just know you wouldn't hurt girls."

He sneered at me. "You know nothing. How many times do I have to tell you this isn't your pathetic world anymore? I am me and not whatever it is you think I am. I can and _will_ hurt you."

"Then why didn't you kill all those ice apparitions in the village?"

And oop - whoop, that went too far. Me and my big mouth. There it went, popping like a balloon that was too full of hot air anyway. I felt it and stumbled back, still in shock, non believing that this actually happened. He coulda punched me, blackened my eye, bloodied my lip, gone for my neck again, kicked me, shoved me, thrown me, but no.

Hiei fucking _slapped_ me.

Right across the face, simple as can be. _Slap_ and I jerked back, losing my footing, eyes wide. It wasn't that hard, not really, not as hard as he coulda done, and I suppose that could be my body at play or the fact that _I know he wasn't really trying. _

But that's not the point. The point is how _degrading _the act of _slapping_ someone is. Like they're trash and below you. Like they don't even deserve to be _really_ hit. Like a child, a whelp, a loser.

Like a _woman._

A _man_ slapping a _woman._

I gasped. "You...You...YOU BASTARD!" and I slapped him back. Really hard. His bodily strength came into play as I knocked him back a few feet, my own hand stinging from the contact. "HOW DARE YOU?!" I roared. "YOU_ NEVER_ SLAP A WOMAN! You as a man should never slap a woman! It's so degrading! DON'T EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!"

He rubbed his cheek with hate shining in his eyes. "It's _my_ body I hit; I will do as I please..."

I threw my hands up. "I can't believe this! This is totally out of character for you!"

He gave me an unreadable look. "What does that even mean?"

"I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE!"

"...I hate you and everything you stand for," he finally spat venomously.

I sighed heavily. "I didn't even do anything to you..." He inhaled. "ON PURPOSE!" I sighed. "Like for instance, maybe the boys would get a kick out of you picking your nose and eating it!" I turned off my Gazer.

He quirked an eyebrow. "Oh, really? Maybe they would get a kick out of your chest."

I gasped. "You what!"

"I told you not to push me, girl." He turned off_ his_ Gazer and bolted to the kitchen.

I ran after him, trying to turn his necklace back on. "God, you're a bitch on PMS!"

* * *

The gang sat in the kitchen _trying_ to enjoy the tossed salad Kurama had made for them when Vhee came stomping in and grabbed her shirt intending to flash them.

Hiei tackled her with a screech, pulling on her hair. "DON'T YOU DARE!"

"What's the matter? You don't want them to see my grotesquely large milk sacs?!" she yelled back.

"About as much as they wanna see my TINY PENIS!" he finished with a shrill scream.

Kurama deadpanned. "The necklaces are off."

Kuwabara took a bite. "Yep."

Yusuke shook some dressing. "The clothes are a clear giveaway. You two need to shut the hell up and get over yourselves."

Hiei turned to him. "Hey, screw you, Yusuke!"

The ex detective glared. "No thanks. You already tried that, remember?"

Vhee stopped. "You what?! You tried to have sex with _him?!_"

Hiei sputtered and turned red. "I wasn't trying to have sex with him! I'm not sure what I was doing!"

Yusuke snorted. "Well, your tongue sure was sure as it licked my neck."

Vhee grabbed a steak knife. "YOU LICKED HIM WITH _MY _TONGUE?!"

Hiei held up a dinner plate to shield himself. "Well, if you had told me about the symptoms and helped me!"

"Do I need to get more leaves?" Kurama blankly asked.

Genkai took a bite of tomato. "Sure, or I could knock them out."

Shizuru held up a hand. "Nah, I'll take care of this." She stood up and strolled over to the bickering pair as her form cast a shadow over both of them, causing them to pause and look up. She rolled up her sleeves.

Hiei let out a high pitched shriek and ran like hell out of the room while Vhee just stared her down.

"Touch me and you die," was all the little ginger said.

"Maybe, but I'm sure I won't now," was the response as the taller female grabbed the knife, kicked the redhead in the shins causing her to yelp and fall down, stomped on her back and pulled her hair, forcing her into a choke hold. "Leave. The girl. ALONE. We got that, short stuff?"

A gag sound was all she got. "Good. Guess without all the fancy stuff and strong body you got nothing, kid. Now where is that girl..." she mused to herself as she left the humiliated pile of flesh laying on the floor.

"OH GOD NO!" Hiei wailed forty nine feet away. "I WON'T DO IT AGAIN! I PROMISE!"

Insert more Mortal Combat punching sounds ending with weeping as Shizuru came strolling back in wiping her hands. "And there you go. Now let's eat."

Vhee stood up like nothing happened and walked into the living room seeing gems littered all over the floor. "_This_ is how Yukina found out, you little moron."

Hiei wiped his face. "She already knew, you jackass. I told you that."

Vhee snorted. "As soon as I get my body back I'm..."

"You _what?_" Hiei challenged as he stood up. "You coulda fought back against her even in my body and you didn't. Case in point; you don't hurt girls." He paused. "Except me it seems."

She snorted. "You make it easy."

"No, I'm in_ your_ body. That's why. You still aren't really hurting _me!_ HA! I WIN!"

And he ran around the room singing his victory as Vhee rubbed her temples. "Maybe I should make some toast in the bathtub..."

~TBC

* * *

**Dream: Yeah, yeah. I know. It's shorter but hey at least a few chaps in here were 5k so there. Life got in my way and I'm glad I wrote anything at all and I had to give _something _after two weeks. **

Vhee: It's okay. We understand.

Hiei: No we don't. First a two week wait and now this short crap? I say we boycot the story and never review again. That'll show them.

**Dream: -_- Nice try, honey.**

Vhee: People can't be that mean...right? Hello? -taps glass-

**Dream: Well, I can still make it longer!**

Hiei: Oh God not -

**Q&AWH CHAP 13:**

From: **Liana Wolfe**

"If I gave you a brief couple page cameo on my fan comic over on Deviantart, would you kill me?"

Hiei: No, since I don't know what that is. Though I may kill you out of boredom.

"If you were to suddenly become human, what would you do (And no, the answer can't be 'kill myself')"

Hiei: Well, first I would troll Facebook and get like 800 friends, then post vids on YouTube of me falling off my skateboard, then I would go to a bar, get wasted, and f-ck some random chick.

Vhee: Is that what you think humans do?

Hiei: The male ones in my age bracket, yes.

Vhee: Not true, there are many responsible 27 year old males in human world.

Hiei: Fine, then I would kill you. Is that a better answer?

Vhee: I would totally fav your skateboard vids.

Hiei: Mmm hmm.

Vhee: Moving on...

From: **Trappersgirl**

"The only thing I guess I can think of is, do the guys visit you while you're in demon world, or you them? The barrier is down so it would be pretty easy for anyone to cross between worlds who knows where to go. It just seemed at the end of the series that you all went your seperate ways and everything and I'm just curious if you guys stay in contact."

Hiei: I visit Human World only for my needs. As for Demon World, Yusuke loves it, and Kurama has dealings there, though I can't mention what they are. The fool is the only one I don't see, and I am utterly heartbroken. I mean, am I not good enough or something?

From: **HeeHeeHee01**

"Why do only part of your clothes disintegrate when you use the Darkness Flame? Or really any other time your clothes are destroyed? I mean, if you are powering up to the point where your own clothes rip themselves from your body, wouldn't it make sense for the rest to disappear? God, now I feel like a pervert..."

Hiei: My shirts are made poorly but my pants are top notch.

From: **Kaori Minamino**

"And here's a tub of ice cream for you Hiei, and a box of chocolates for you Vhee! Happy almost Valentine's Day!"

Vhee: Valentine's Day! Got a Valentine, Hiei? Hmm?

Hiei: Yeah, tall, long red hair, green eyes...

Vhee: NOT funny.

Hiei: -lisping- Or maybe the cute one with brown eyes and way too much hair product.

Vhee: Dude, you suck.

Hiei: -normal voice- You wish.

Vhee: OH YOU PERVERT! -throws a brick at Hiei's head-

Hiei: -brick dissipates- Amateur.

From: **ninjagirl91**

"Alright I have a question for hiei. If you started going on a murderess rampage and yukina showed up will you stop mid kill like when you saved her the first time. You seem to be taken out of a train of thought when she shows up."

Yukina: -shows up out of nowhere- Hello, Hiei! Hello, Vhee! I just came to return your razor. Well, goodbye! -leaves-

Hiei: ...

Vhee: I think he lost his train of thought.

Hiei: She uses your razor?

Vhee: And yet he hears that! Next!

Hiei: I expect an answer, woman.

Vhee: Yes, and we have slumber parties where we tickle each other. Next freaking question!

Hiei: That's not what I asked, you insufferable idiot.

Vhee: You were thinking it! -points an accusing finger-

Hiei: Moron.

Vhee: NEXT!

From: **Kurama's Sister**

"Hiei: Which pairing is worse HieixKuwabara or HieixYukina (I hate them both)"

Hiei: Gee, the one where I'm f-cking my _SISTER_.

"Do you think Kurama looks like a girl?"

Hiei: Especially when he strips on Thursdays.

Vhee: -starts to yell- Aw, hell, I'd slip a 20 in his G-string.

Hiei: I know _you _would.

"Does your hair ever go flat?"

Hiei: When it's wet.

"What would you do if Yukina had Kuwabara's kids?"

Hiei: Like I said before. Nothing. Let them. He'll be in for a world of hurt when all his sons set his house on fire.

"For Vhee, Would you ever write yoai?"

Vhee: That depends on so much. I would need to be a little more popular here before I would try something like that.

Hiei: -raises eyebrow-

Vhee: I mean no. No way!

Hiei: -shakes head- You will never get any sleep, girl, with the way you go.

Vhee: Quit threatening to kill me in my sleep! It won't work!

Hiei: That's why you wake up every hour.

Vhee: You watch me SLEEP?! YOU - Wait. You watch me? At night? Without my bra on, in bed?

Hiei: I could care less about your undergarments.

Vhee: That's not an answer.

Hiei: Will you be my Valentine?

Vhee: Ugh. Next!

From: **Trapped in Reality**

"Hiei, you're in a room with a bunch of kids who all want to touch your hair (b/c your hair is so fascinating), and Koenma is watching you. What do you do? Yeah, I'm running out of ideas for questions. Sorry."

Hiei: Open my Jagan and make them all pass out. That doesn't hurt them and Koenma cannot do anything about it.

Vhee: But what if when they pass out they crack their heads open? Blood everywhere. Koenma would have your ass.

Hiei: Koenma would be too busy running from his burning office.

Vhee: Oh, okay then. Next!

From: **BlackBelt**

"Hello again Hiei! I hope you had good holidays!"

Hiei: Uh huh.

"What class in school do you think you would enjoy?"

Hiei: Chemistry.

Vhee: Seriously?

Hiei: Explosions.

Vhee: Oh, ja.

"What would you like to get as a Valentine's gift?"

Hiei: A shrunken head.

Vhee: Ass.

Hiei: How about peace and quiet?

Vhee: NEVA!

"Is your goal in life just to reach your full potential in power-and even then try to push past it-and protect your sister or is there anything else you hope to do?"

Hiei: I hope to marry, have 7 kids, live in a 2 level house in the suburbs, with a white picket fence around the front yard. Ooh, and a dog. Yeah, a cute little doggie.

(Anyone else hear Chuck Huber here?)

From:** inspiration-arts**

"I have one question and some comments. My question is for Hiei: What/Who would you give up your Jagan for?"

Hiei: If I needed to, my sister.

Vhee: Aw, really?

Hiei: NO U

From: **Hiei Emiko**

"Is it really so difficult for you to smile once a while?"

Hiei: It makes my nose bleed.

"Which user am I whose reviewed your more than twice? Love this still, but made a new account since I'm trying out a couple of things."

Vhee: I dunno. I would have to go through all my reviews to see who else has this style of typing. Which I won't do, cuz I'm lazy as hell. But thanks for reviewing!

Hiei: Multiple accounts=BAN.

Vhee: Why, cuz you tried to troll and flame and got bannod?

Hiei: ...No.

**Dream: There ya go. Much longer now. -smiles innocently-**

Hiei: Not much.

Vhee: 'Bout 1k.

**Dream: I'll make both of you have sex with each other.**

Hiei: -looks sick-

Vhee: -looks thoughtful-

Hiei: Oh ugh.

Vhee: Huh? What? No I'd never wanna sleep with the hottest guy in YYH. WTF man. Ew no.

**Dream: Yeah, okay sweetie.**

Hiei: I'm sleeping with one eye open tonight...

Vhee: Don't you always? Ha.

**Dream: Jagan jokes are lame.**

Hiei: Yeah. Besides if I slept with _that _eye open you'd all be acting out my dreams.

Vhee: Is that why I clucked like a chicken last night?

**Dream: Is that why I killed Mrs. Sanchez?**

Vhee: ...What?

**Dream: Nope. Nothing. -more innocent smiling-**

Hiei: She did dance naked in front of the window.

Vhee: And she was a hundred and two...

**Dream: Yup, nothing bad happened. Review? Or Hiei might control me again...**

Hiei: That would be terrible.

Vhee: I'm never sleeping again, apparently.

Hiei: Apparently.


	10. Actual plot development -no wait really?

Disclaimer: I don't freakin own YYH

* * *

**Dream: I detest, loathe and abhor posting on the weekends, but seeming as how I didn't want it to be_ three_ weeks I had no choice. **

**I really have no excuse for why I didn't update this time for two weeks. Personally I blame YGOTAS and DBZA for rotting my brain and stealing my bunnies. Either that or I'm just a great big old shithead and lazy as f-ck. **

**However, I would like to thank everyone for the triple score! I wouldn't have gotten it without ya (obviously)! So amazing! I love you all -huggies- And thank you FF for giving us all an OC slot. Some people hate it but if you hate it then don't freaking use it. Duh.**

Vhee: Look, Hiei; I now have a slot!

Hiei: It says OC. Get a named slot and then I'll be impressed.

Vhee: -_-

**Dream: Onward! And this'll be a big one, guys. In length and story. Shit's getting real up in this bitch. THANKS AGAIN!**

* * *

Heads or Tails

Chapter10: Actual plot development -no, wait really?

X -x-x-x-x- X

I really don't even remember what's going on right now. Maybe I should get my ass to the computer more often, huh? Anyway, the last thing I remembered was yelling at Hiei for some reason. Then we ran around in circles in our underwear following a huge cake eating contest.

I'm not even trying anymore.

Okay, okay, he was glaring at me like he always does and I really was starting to get annoyed about that. I mean, yeah I stole his body and switched him into a human female with menstrual cramps but was that really a reason to keep stabbing me over and over in his head?

He grinned horrifically. Oh, I guess my brains leaked out with that one.

I sighed. Having Hiei hate your father and mother for even seeing each other and wanting to travel back in time and set them ablaze with the flames of the underworld and watch them combust and melt into ooze was not as fun as these fanfics made it look. It ain't funny, it ain't cute, it isn't KAWAII DESU or any gay bullshit like that.

It's totally horrible. My anime fantasy was not at all like this. My fantasy involved me, Hiei, Marik Ishtar and Edward Elric all trapped in a room with no door and all they have to defend themselves with are bottles of chocolate syrup. Just paint the rest of that picture for yourselves, okay?

So...I started to think of something I could do to cheer him up. Of course it would be easier to convince the devil not to be bad anymore, but hey - I like a challenge.

What could possibly elicit a...not a smile cuz he doesn't do that...not a happy feeling cuz he doesn't do that...dammit, not a moan - stop it pervy brain!...a...contented feeling perhaps?

Hey Beelzebub, wanna stop torturing humans, pretty please?

Yeah, okay.

What could be a common ground that we could share - other than we share each other's bodies and shit? I heard a huge howl of laughter from the kitchen and cringed at the voice that produced it. I noticed Hiei cringed too with me. Ah ha! Victory! We both hate Kuwabara!

Okay, not hate per-se, I just can only handle him in small doses. And by small I mean a reaction shot in the DT where he doesn't talk. That's about it.

I grinned as I got out of my chair and approached Hiei on the couch. "What did I tell you about staying in your corner?" he snapped.

"You hate Kuwabara, right?"

He blinked up at me. "Hate is a strong emotion that would actually require me caring about what he does."

"He totally wants to bang your sister." His eyes narrowed into a glare. "So you hate him. Lemme tell ya; he grates on my nerves too. So...I have an idea to cheer us both up!"

He blew out some air. "Oh, I can't wait to hear this." I told him my plan and his face went from disgusted to surprised to somewhat bemused. Finally he responded with a dark chuckle. "You are a very wicked little child."

"Hey pal, I ain't that much younger than you and Yukina. Sooo...whad'ya think? You in?"

He considered me. "For what purpose?"

"To entertain us and mind f-ck them."

He shook his head. "Very wicked indeed."

I grinned maliciously.

_This might just work._

* * *

After Yusuke went to talk to Keiko, Kuwabara was left alone in the kitchen. He was trying to open a bag of peanuts when he looked up and saw Hiei glaring at him. "What do you want, short stuff?"

Hiei scoffed and sat down at the table. "You to stop talking."

"Hey, I can do whatever I want in this house...within reason. At least I'm not skulking around like a loser."

"Oh, please," Hiei retorted with an eye roll.

"Heh, what's your problem anyway?" Hiei raised an eyebrow at him as if to say "really?" Kuwabara chewed a peanut. "Other than that. You've always been a jerk." He swallowed. "I bet I know."

"I simply cannot wait to hear what genius your brain has in store for me."

"It's because of Yukina." Hiei blanched. "You like her, don't you? I knew it!"

Hiei shook off the shock and chuckled. "Oh, you_ fool._.."

"Admit it, Hiei; you totally like her! I can tell by the way you look at her."

Hiei balked and looked like he was about to vomit. "In what way do I look at her that makes you think that?"

"You stare at her all the time with this longing and stuff. It's so gross! She would never like you!"

Hiei picked at a nail. "Did you ever think that it wasn't longing but jealousy?"

The teen choked on a nut. "Huh - what?"

The fire apparition chuckled again darkly. "Oh, Kuwabara...I have no feelings for Yukina. I am simply jealous of what she has..."

Kuwabara started to sweat as the room got dark. "And what is that...?"

Hiei looked up and made direct eye contact, smiling viciously. "_You_."

The human almost fell from his chair. "_WHAT?!_"

The demon chuckled again. "You poor, poor thing. I knew you couldn't handle it."

"YOU LIKE _**ME**_?!"

"Yeah. I thought it was obvious."

The carrot top found himself panicking and gasping for air as the walls closed in. "Oh, God no! Why?! You're always so mean to me!"

Hiei shrugged. "I think Yusuke explained it to me. In this thing called school if a bully picks on you sometimes that means they like you. That's how demons court anyway so I assumed humans did as well."

Kuwabara scrambled to his feet. "You're Vhee."

Hiei blinked. "If I was, I would be wearing her clothes."

The teen gasped. Hiei was indeed wearing his own clothing. "No! It can't be! You have to be Vhee!"

Hiei scoffed. "Oh, moron!"

Vhee came stomping in with her hands on her hips. "I have a _name_, you know."

"I don't care. Tell Kuwabara who you are."

She looked around. "Uhhh...huh?"

"He thinks we are pretending to be each other again."

She laughed. "Ohhh...Well then, just turn the Gazers off." She pressed the button and a signal flared, revealing another Hiei "I'm Vhee and he's Hiei."

Hiei did the same revealing a new Vhee still wearing Hiei's clothes. "See now, _Kazuma?_"

His brain shattered as the ceiling caved in, meteors crashing into his skull and setting his eyes on fire. "NOOO!"

They reactivated their Gazers and Vhee came up to the stuttering child. "Oh, did you finally tell him?"

"Yeah, he isn't taking it well."

"I told you he wouldn't."

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" the frazzled human finally wailed, pulling at his hair.

Vhee blinked. "I told him not to tell you."

He grabbed the girl's shoulders. "Please tell me this is a joke! Please! In the series thing, it isn't true, right?!"

She shook her head. "No, in the series, it shows he likes you but he never says anything."

Kuwabara cried hysterically. "Why tell me now, you freak?!"

Hiei shrugged, non-caring. "What can I say, this female body is making me_ feel_ things..."

"_**THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!**_"

"What the hell man?!" Yusuke came in and looked around. "What can't be happening?"

"Hiei says he likes me! And Vhee says it was in the show!"

Yusuke looked back an forth. "Dude, they're tricking you."

"No, look Urameshi! They're in the right clothes and they turned their necklaces off to show me!"

Yusuke's eyes widened. "For real?" He turned to the switched pair. "This shit's for real?"

"What? You have a problem with people that have that kind of sexual preference, detective?" Hiei snapped.

Yusuke stuttered. "No! Not at all! I just...wow. _Kuwabara? _Really?!" He paused. "Why not me?"

Vhee squeaked. "What!"

Yusuke rubbed his neck. "I mean...we get along better and Kuwabara is...Kuwabara." He shuddered.

"OH GOD, ARE YOU GAY TOO, URAMESHI?!"

"NO! I just don't understand why he'd like _you!_"

"What, I'm not good enough to like?!"

"By someone desperate maybe!"

Vhee blinked. "They are actually arguing over this."

Hiei picked another nail. "No homo."

Yusuke waved his hands. "Okay, okay. I'm not entirely shocked Hiei's batting for the other team but if I had to guess someone for him to be into, it'd be Kurama not you."

Vhee backed away from the ex detective. "You're not shocked? And why not?"

Hiei got up. "No homo!"

Yusuke shrugged. "Well...he's just so stiff and closed off."

Vhee fumed. "And that makes him gay?!"

"NO HOMO!"

"I still can't believe this is happening..." Kuwabara whined pathetically.

"And it isn't," was the calm voice that spoke through the carnage. All turned to see Kurama. "They _are_ tricking you."

They group looked at the gender switched trouble makers. Kuwabara sniffled. "But they're in the right clothes and the Gazers..."

"They switched clothes I would guess and actually turned the Gazers _on_ instead of off to trick you."

Hiei sat down and ate another peanut. Vhee crossed her arms and immediately uncrossed them with a disgusted look on her face. "Even with the Spirit Gazers their bodies still smell the same." He pointed to Vhee. "This is Hiei because it smells like Victoria. And that is Victoria because it smells like Hiei."

Kuwabara and Yusuke both looked like their brains melted a bit. Kurama sighed. "Just trust me. They are tricking you."

Yusuke looked at them and back at the fox. "I trust Kurama. When has he ever been wrong anyway?" He grinned. "Awesome prank!"

"Awesome?! Urameshi, that was horrible! I think I lost years off my life!"

Vhee snorted. "Hmp, mission accomplished."

Hiei pressed his Gazer revealing another Vhee. "It was my idea, guys."

"Well, duh. Hiei would never think of anything like this." He slapped a hand on the other Vhee's shoulder, who promptly turned the Gazer back on. "Well done! You did a great job."

Hiei smirked. "I have to admit, it was entertaining for a while. That is, until you two started fighting over me." Both teens went pale. "Had no idea you felt that way about me. I better steer clear from both of you." He grinned and walked out, Vhee following behind giggling.

"No homo."

* * *

After we switched clothes WITH OUR EYES CLOSED (or at least mine were) I patted Hiei on the shoulder. "That was great! You did so well!"

Hiei snorted. "That was ridiculous."

"Oh, come on! You had fun; admit it."

He scoffed. "It might have been until they started arguing over who should be with me. Makes me wonder about them..."

I sighed. "No, trust me. Kuwabara's in love with Yukina and Yusuke's in love with Keiko. That's how it is no matter how much the yaoi fangirls want it to be different."

Although Yoshihiro Togashi_ did_ want Hiei and Kurama to be togeth **ERROR!** Windows could not open file. A system reboot is required.

"What the hell is yaoi?"

-needle scratch-

"Huh? Oh, boyxboy. For some reason in my land, girls like anime guys hooking up. Which is weird 'cause they don't like real guys slapping meat."

Hiei rubbed his temple. "I'm sorry I asked."

"Yeah, me too. Anyway, you have to admit it was fun."

"It was slightly entertaining. Honestly, I have no idea how I let you talk me into doing something like that."

**OOC.**

I shrugged. "You intimated a great me which shows you've been paying attention to how I act. We're totally bonding."

"We're _totally_ not. I only put up with you because I have to."

"Ugh, Hiei. Why can't you admit that you had fun in there?"

He crossed his arms. "I will when you admit that you're a worthless excuse of chemicals." I sighed heavily. "You even called yourself a moron."

"That's because I was imitating _you!_"

"Heh, and what a swell job you did of it. They probably would've figured it out soon enough. You know nothing of me." I pulled at my hair. "Quit that."

"You are unbelievable. We had a good laugh and when it's over, you take it back like it was nothing. I know you wanna keep this whole 'I'm an unfeeling bastard and too cool to laugh' thing up, but I'm really trying here, Hiei."

"You are really trying, yes," he snorted indignantly.

"UGH!"

"I shouldn't have allowed that farce in the first place. I think your idiotic brain is affecting me."

I pointed in his face. "Yeah well, _your_ brain is affecting _me_ and making me evil!"

He scoffed. "Yeah, no - you're just evil." He walked back to his room. "Let's pretend that you don't exist and I am finally at peace."

I stomped my feet. "Ditto, you jerk!" The door slammed. "UGHCBSRTYFHBHGVNCJSADI!"

I fumed and plopped on the couch, pouting like a child. He looked like he was getting off on Kuwabara's brain exploding and Yusuke losing blood flow to his eyeballs. I _know_ he did. I saw him grinning. And now he acts like nothing happened. Like we weren't a team and totally in sync.

_Why does Hiei have to be so Hiei?_

I groaned and sat back to see Keiko staring at me. "Hello." She smiled a little. "Men are jerks. Want to go outside and talk about how men are jerks?"

I blinked. "Uhh...sure I guess. Yusuke made ya mad again?"

She looked around. "Yusuke, yes. He did. I am so mad right now. Let's go outside and talk." She walked to the door and I followed feeling something was off.

It was like an newb was writing her dialogue.

But maybe she was so furious that she couldn't speak normal. Maybe she was fuming so hard it broke her brain. Maybe she was just trying too hard to be nice to me. Maybe I'm just a big ol' idiot cuz that bitch wasn't Keiko and I'm being carried by a flying demon up in the air while she laughs at me!

"What a fool!" she cackled. "This was entirely too simple."

"WHAT THE PUKE STAINED MAGGOT COVERED FUCK?!" I kicked and flailed my legs as the lizard thing that smelled just like my expletive carried me higher and higher. "WAIT! DON'T GO FIFTY -" Zap.

Apparently the zap only affects me cuz the smelly dude did nothing. Until Hiei busted through the door and looked at the scene before him. "HIEI, HELP! I DUNNO WHAT'S GOING ON!"

He blinked. "Which is your usual state of mind."

"Keiko" turned to face him. "Hello there." Yusuke and co. came out and gasped as they saw the guy holding me approximately 49 feet in the air.

"What the hell?" Yusuke swore and looked back at Keiko.

"Oh Yusuke, we're just playing around." She licked her lips seductively.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You're not Keiko."

She laughed. "Well, duh."

He clenched his fists. "WHO ARE YOU?!"

She swished her hips to the side. "My name is Durn."

Kuwabara gasped. "Oh, he's the guy we were supposed to be looking for but instead we've been sitting around the temple doing nothing for no reason!"

**PLOT HOLES!**

"What the f-ck?!" Yusuke screamed. "How do you look like Keiko?!"

"Correction; this _is _Keiko. Or at least this is her body. I used the Mirror of Change. I assume you are familiar with it."

All of them paled.

"WHAT?! You switched with Keiko?!" Yusuke's energy flared and exploded outward, kicking back Durn's hair. "Where. Is. She."

"Where my body is being held. I'm sure she is having fun."

* * *

"OH GOD, IT SMELLS!"

* * *

Durn chuckled. "At any case, I have her and now this worthless cretin." He pointed to me.

"How did you get the Mirror of Change?!" I screamed.

He snorted. "When you activate them, they stay behind. I was able to get to them again and switch bodies as well as realities since I have that item too. I intend to collect several items 'til I find what I want."

"Which is?" Kurama asked darkly.

"To find a Reality of Change that travels with you. I realize now this is what I need but for some reason any Reality of Change won't take me to the right reality when I wish for it." He shrugged. "It seems each item protects the other no matter what reality you are in."

"That makes absolutely no sense," Yusuke deadpanned.

"I didn't expect you to understand. Your file says you never listened to any training when you were Spirit Detective. How would you know how the items work?"

"You read my file?"

Durn smiled sickly at the half breed. "I did. And I found out all the things I needed to know. Like Keiko Ukimora's name. It was easy to switch when I knew her name and what she looks like."

Yusuke became green. "Wait. Did you switch before of after eight this morning?"

Durn blinked. "What difference does it make?"

"Because they were breeding at seven thirty," Hiei drawled.

"HIEI!"

"What? I have human ears now and I still heard you. Be quieter next time."

Durn rolled his eyes. "I switched like ten minutes ago. Besides you're not my type." And he grinned at Kurama.

"Why is everything slash all the time?!" I wailed in the air.

"Shut it, Vhee!" Yusuke powered up. "I think we need to end this. That thing up there is weak. I can't even sense any energy from it."

"Yes, I'd say it's an F if anything at all," Kurama added.

"What?! I was taken by a f-cking _F_ CLASS?!"

Hiei scoffed. "And in my body too. I rest my case about you and your worth to the world."

Yusuke's finger glowed. "One shot at two percent of my strength would vaporize it."

"_I'm_ up here you idiot!" I wailed.

Yusuke paused. "I bet Hiei's body could handle it. Whad'ya say, Hiei?"

Hiei thought about it. "And _she_ would feel the pain...yeah sure, go for it."

"WHAT THE F-CK?!"

"Sorry, but that won't be happening." And all looked to see Durn holding a gun to Keiko's head. "If you go after that girl or my little friend, I will blow your lover's brains all over you."

"But you would be the one to die," Kurama supplemented, gently brushing across his hair, no doubt a deadly seed of torment in his hand.

"And Keiko would be stuck in a demon body. A _male_ demon body, by the way."

Yusuke growled. "Then I'll just get the Mirror and switch her with someone else!"

Durn grinned. "And who would that be? Another innocent that doesn't deserve to be switched?" Yusuke was shaking, ya know that anime thing anime does. "But that won't be a problem. See this?" He held up a bracelet on his wrist. "This is a pulse reader. If the lovely heartbeat of this creature stops pounding my people will immediately kill the real Keiko in my body."

Kurama glared. "Your people?"

"Yep. I have people." He backed away, still holding the gun. Another weak demon came out of nowhere and picked him up. "Such a shame. You all are so strong you don't even consider low class apparitions around you because you know they can't hurt you. They didn't even register on your radar."

He flew higher. "Soon I will have all I need! The objects I desire and the body that will make me the ruler of all!"

"He wants Hiei's body!" Kuwabara stated the obvious (of course who_ doesn't_ want Hiei's body?).

I screamed as my creature flew higher zapping me and Hiei over and over and over until I blacked ughhhhhhhflabbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzziiiiiiiiishjka

* * *

Yusuke roared and kicked a hole through the wall. "Calm yourself, Yusuke," Kurama stated with no emotion as the mazakou fumed and paced.

"I don't believe this! He has Keiko and he switched them! He could do anything now!"

"Apparently he wants to find a Reality of Change that travels with a person when they use it, so he can come and go as he pleases from any reality. He also wants Hiei's body and since the Jagan and the Dragon are part of his body, his power would be large. At least large in realities where people can't fight back, and I'm sure that's also part of what he wants." Kurama looked to the floor.

"Well, how are we supposed to find them? Their energies are so weak we can't track them!" Yusuke shouted.

Kuwabara shook his head. "I never thought we'd be beaten by guys that are literally no threat to us."

Kurama stepped over something. "There are ways to track them. Unfortunately they broke the connection spell." They all looked to the floor. "Pull away long enough and it severs."

Kuwabara knelt down and poked something with a stick. "Guys...he's still smoking a little."

* * *

I woke up with a pounding headache and all of my body felt like I had licked a light socket straight out of the shower while holding a hair dryer with my other finger in a toaster. I grumbled as I sat up, seeing I was in a creepy cellar or basement or prison cell...whatever cliché shit this was.

I looked around and saw my foot was chained to a wall. "Oh, Lord..." And there was Hiei's voice. I gasped and reached for my Gazer but it was gone. "And the bitch stole my necklace. Perfect."

"What bitch...?"

I turned to the voice, which sounded like one of Chris Sabat's throw away voices, and cringed at the small, dirty, shirtless, fat demon staring at me. Imagine Yoda and ET having a kid. You might come close. Throw in some werewolf blood too while you're at it. "Uhhh...what the f-ck?"

The creature blinked. "V...Vhee?"

I blinked. "Huh?"

It looked down, tears forming in it's eyes. "It's me...Keiko..."

My mouth dropped. "Oh, shit."

She started crying. "Oh God, Vhee! What's going on?! It _is_ you, isn't it?!"

I scooted towards her. "Yeah, it's me. They took my Gazer. He told us everything and kidnapped me. But he was in a human body the last time I saw him...Agh I have no idea what's going on!"

She sobbed harder, snot running down her deformed nose and congealing all over her naked, hairy chest. "I can't stand it! It's disgusting! The stench! I can smell himself with his own nose and it's like being in a trash truck!"

Indeed; he smelled like he slept in diapers after showering in piss infused vomit while letting skunks screw all over him. She gasped for breath. "AND THESE THINGS KEEP STICKING TO MY LEGS!"

I looked down. "Oh God. Yeah, that does suck."

"How do you do this?!" she wailed.

Well, for instance my guy doesn't look like the devil seed of a science experiment gone wrong. That kinda makes it easier... "Uhm...It'll be okay. Yusuke will find us."

"Oh, Yusuke! What if I can't switch back?! If he...and I...and - OH NO!" She screamed and sobbed harder.

_At least y'all had sex one last time..._ I sighed heavily and reached over to pat her. Instead she threw herself into me and let loose fluids all over my shoulder. I silently mourned my green tee that I will never wear again after this and soothed her as best I could.

Yeah, picture Hiei comforting some ugly ass alien monster hybrid that's crying into him. Beautiful.

The door opened and we gasped moving away from each other a little. In entered Durn swaying Keiko's hips as he sauntered over to us. "Well, well, well. Are the girls bonding with each other in here?"

I glared. "How did you get away from the cops?"

He glared back. "You were the girl in the car."

I smirked, semi fangirling at how Hiei's face looked doing that. "Yeah, and I saw you bleeding on the ground."

He chuckled and checked his nails. "I crawled over to the items and used the Reality of Change to get me to a reality I recognized. Then I used the Mirror, since I had it in my pocket, to change to the closest low class I could find." He looked at Keiko. "Funny how fast he told me his name when I pointed a police pistil in his face." He shrugged. "I'm sure the poor fella died rather quickly in that human body what with the bullet holes in it."

"Why were your eyes yellow in my world?"

He looked down at me.

Random asshole: Because she forgot that detail.

Vhee: STFU! I don't have time for you! Important scene going on here!

Durn shook his head. "Your world is odd. My eyes stayed the same."

Asshole: LAME.

Vhee: -snaps fingers and an Acme anvil stomps him-

"Wait, wait, wait. You traveled here to take a weak body and do what exactly? Get your ass handed to you by Yusuke? That makes no sense!"

Ah, f-ck it; it's anime.

"No, I came back here because I knew I could find a better body to recover in. I soon realized you had been transported to this world as well, and low and behold, in Hiei's body. What fortune has smiled on me!"

I narrowed my eyes, channeling my inner flame powered jerk. "What does that mean?"

He grinned. "Simple. Once I find the Reality object I desire, I'll be able to go as I please and do as I wish and no one will be able to stop me, especially while I'm in that body." He licked his lips. "I can't wait to see what destruction that dragon could cause." He started walking toward us. "I just need one thing." He knelt down to me. "Your name."

My eyes widened. "What?"

"We never did finish that conversation."

"But...I...can't you use Hiei's name?"

"You would think so but no. It switches the spirit so what I need is the name of the true soul and what they truly look like. I already know what you really look like thanks to being in your reality..." He grinned. "I just need your name."

I gulped. There was no way I could let him have Hiei's body. He wanted to hurt people with the dragon and do God only knows what else with his powers and I couldn't let that happen. Plus, I couldn't let Hiei down like that. Just give up and hand over his body totally proving everything he thinks of me right.

"No."

He sneered. "There are ways I can make you talk."

I steeled myself. "I said no."

He stood up and looked over at Keiko. "How about you? Do you know her name?"

Keiko paled and my stomach went cold.

Oh crap, did she?!

-checks previous chapters-

AW FUCK! Chap 5! She was there when I said my full name! WHAT THE HELL MAN THIS SHIT I'M GONNA JUST CRAP ALL OVER THE PLACE I CAN'T EVEN THINK OF CUSS WORDS URGFLABBAGABBITYWAGGERDAGGER!

She backed away from Durn. "I...I...don't remember her name."

He snorted at her. "Sure you don't."

"I really don't! It's a strange name for me to remember!"

"Yeah, it's American!"

Durn sighed. "This is going to be a hard choice. Which one of you to torture to get my answer."

"She doesn't remember! Leave her alone! Besides if you torture her, you might kill her and then you lose your leverage against _Yusuke Urameshi_ and what do you think he'll do when he finds out you killed her? He don't give a shit about me but he loves her. You'll be wishing your father never came into your mother."

He raised a morose eyebrow at me. "You have a very dirty mouth. We shall see what other things it says very soon." He chuckled. "You are thinking that Hiei's body will be strong and will be able to take it. That is very true... I doubt anything that happens in here will do any permanent damage to it. But one thing is for certain..." And he grabbed my head and slammed me into the concrete.

"Oh, Vhee!"

"You will most definitely suffer."

He walked off as I drug myself up, feeling something drip from the corner of my forehead down my cheek. The cell door slammed and locked as Keiko helped me up. "Anyone that says you ain't strong is an idiot..." I grumbled, wiping the blood off Hiei's face with his hand bandage.

She sniffled. "What do we do now?"

I shook my head. "We hope he doesn't turn on you and wait for Yusuke to rescue us."

She rubbed my back. "I won't let him hurt you."

I smiled. "Hiei can take a lot of punishment. It'll be okay..."

_The question is how much can** I** take..._

* * *

Kurama held up the Demon Compass. "I managed to take some hair from Hiei's head during the many times Victoria was unconscious. This should lead us right to them."

"What about the seals on his stuff?" Kuwabara asked so eloquently.

"The seals are on the fabric not the skin. She knows that. If she removes them she might be able to fight back against him," Hiei explained, still rubbing his electrified arms.

"How does she know that?" Genkai growled.

"I told her."

"Idiot, I made her think only I could remove them."

"Well, she needs to know she can remove them at this time."

"We don't have time for this. We need to go right now!" Yusuke pointed to the redhead. "Turn that thing on!"

Kurama nodded and did so, the compass activating and giving out a signal. "There are not that far. It seems Durn is extremely cocky for someone challenging _us._"

"Watch it, Kurama. I almost heard pride," Hiei smirked as the human fox rolled his eyes. All eyes turned on the gender switched Jaganshi and he growled in irritation. "What?"

Yusuke sighed. "You gotta stay here, Hiei."

"The hell I am."

"You gotta. You're in no shape to fight in that body and I doubt you could anyway."

Hiei glowered and picked up his katana. "Really now?" He flipped it around and sliced the legs clean off one of Genkai's chairs. "Most of my sword skills require no strength. I had to learn when I had no energy after my Jagan implant. Trust me, I can fight."

"But you lost your speed!" Kuwabara said with concern.

Hiei scoffed. "Pfft, which makes me about as fast as you and we still let _you_ come with us."

"Well fine! See when I care about your safety again!"

"Please, you were just protecting the _girl_."

"I can't expect you to do that, now can I?"

Hiei's eyes narrowed dangerously. "And what is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"You didn't care one bit about her and you just stood there and let them take her."

Hiei snarled, aiming the tip of his sword at the human's neck. "And I suppose I should've just let him kill Keiko? That would have been smart."

Kuwabara didn't even blink."You didn't care and you still don't."

Hiei gave a venomous snort. "Of course I don't. She stole my body. She could die for all I care." He turned to Yusuke. "I won't let anything happen to your woman though."

Yusuke gave an unreadable look. "Yeah, thanks. Just be careful in that body and try not to get killed." Hiei twirled his sword and slapped it back in the sheath. "We got limited time before something really bad happens. Let's go." All nodded.

"I can help!" Botan announced on her oar above them. "Just give me the compass and I can make a portal straight there!"

Yusuke smiled at the reaper. "Botan, what would we do without you?"

She laughed. "Ya know, most people forget about me."

* * *

The stomping footprints came louder and louder and we both shivered, holding onto each other and you know I was trippin' to be holding this stinky ass dude close to me. The door opened revealing a new guy standing there. "Hello." He played with my Gazer on his neck. "I thought a change of dress would be nice. I intend to use this little gem even when in Hiei's body."

He was tall with long white hair that was pulled back in a sleek ponytail. His had modest muscles and piercing yellow eyes. Kinda a cross between Sakyo and Sensui in character design. He was dressed in a sharp business suit and grinned as he put on some sunglasses. Oh good, now Toguro. "Allow me to introduce my associate."

In walked a huge guy with bulging muscles adorned in a ripped shirt. I could feel something crackle when he stepped in and it must be his energy. How strong he was, I had no idea.

"Faulk, please go hard enough to get my answer. As for her..." Durn pointed to Keiko. "Eliminate her presence."

"What - no!"

This Faulk guy disappeared only to reappear with Keiko unconscious on the ground. It was so fast I barely saw him chop her in the neck. I gulped and looked up at my soon to be tormentor.

Durn picked up the small thing that held Keiko. "Again, go hard enough but not too hard. I don't want my dragon destroyed."

Faulk simply nodded and cracked his knuckles as Durn left us alone, the cell door slamming with an echo.

Okay, so when did this shit get serious? Right now, that's when.

He reached behind him and pulled out a syringe. "This is all I need to do to you," he stated.

"Oh...but...um..." Needles. That never goes well in fanfics. "Please don't..." I begged pathetically.

He grabbed me instantly and choked my neck as he brought the needle to my left arm, shoving the point in. "He's nuts if he thinks I will let him have any happiness after what he has done to me." He injected the substance. "_Ko. Ni. Ro._" He let me go and I hit the floor, coughing.

"Wha...w-what?"

"That will ensure he does not get what he wants. And in the process _he_ will die." My eyesight got blurry as my skin began to burn. It was like I was on fire and freezing at the same time. "You are exactly what I needed..."

I...I...can't...too much...God help me...PLEASE, SOMEONE HELP ME! I CAN'T DO FIRST PERSON ANYMORE!

* * *

The compass on Kurama's arm beeped just as they exited the portal. "Something is wrong. Hiei's energy has increased. Or should I say, the energy Hiei has trapped inside his body."

They gasped as they looked at the warehouse that held the two girls. "The dragon. She activated it," Hiei whispered.

"Something_ is_ wrong, guys..." Kuwabara's eyes widened as he felt it. "The dragon is..._wrong_...It's angry. It's all wrong! We gotta get in there!"

* * *

She screamed as the flames surrounded her, grabbing at her head, gems hitting the floor as the bandages burned off the right arm, the seal powerless to stop it. "That's right. Soon it will take control and destroy all it sees. Do not try to fight it. It will happen no matter what."

Durn came running in. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"

Faulk chuckled. "This is for the woman you stole from me."

"THAT WAS 300 YEARS AGO!"

"I never forget."

Durn sneered and pulled out a compact. "Oh, yeah? Keiko Ukimora." A beep signaled with a flash and the man blinked a few times then screamed when he saw the flames filling the room. "VHEE! WHAT HAPPENED?!"

Faulk grabbed the man and pressed the necklace around his neck. It revealed a young human female who was crying and trying to get to the small Jagan master. "Dammit, he switched again! You won't escape me!" He ran out, leaving the two girls alone.

"VHEE?! CAN YOU HEAR ME?!" Keiko tried to call to her but the other girl could not hear anything. "VICTORIA!" Keiko screamed as the flames got larger, turning black, the pavement cracking and falling in from the pressure.

The poor woman trapped inside the fire demon screeched as the dragon began to jump from the right arm, the flames licking the walls and crumbling them.

Keiko had no choice but to run away as the floor fell in, creating a hole between them. "Oh...!" she sobbed as she watched the room come apart and the ceiling cave in.

She ran for her life.

* * *

"Okay I agree; something's wrong!" Yusuke shouted as he finished off the last of the weak apparitions guarding the place.

Kurama cut his whip through his last opponent and Hiei easily decapitated his last, cringing as he heard the sound of his own dragon.

A stronger male came out and was holding a dead body. He was at least a B class, still weaker though as Yusuke powered up to face him.

"This was Durn. He switched back to escape me. Now I can die in peace."

Yusuke gasped. "What?"

"I activated the dragon. It will destroy us all."

"You WHAT?!" Hiei roared. "How?!"

Faulk simply threw the body on the ground. They all turned to hear Keiko screaming as she ran out. "KEIKO!"

"Yusuke! Oh, Yusuke!" She ran into him, crying. "Yusuke! She's still in there! The dragon! You have to save her!"

The dragon shook the building and Hiei ran to the sound, the others trying to stop him. "Don't follow me! I am the only one who can control it!"

Kurama met his pace. "Are you sure?"

"It's a long shot but it might respond to my spirit."

The redhead nodded. "We'll get out to safety. Good luck, Hiei."

They shared a glance of goodbye and understanding before Kurama turned back.

* * *

_Can't breathe...Can't move...Who am I?...Do I have a name?...What am I?...Am I anything but this pain?...Was I anything at all?...Was I anyone?...Do I matter?...Will it matter if I'm gone?...Maybe I should let go and let it take me...Just let it take me away...It'll be over then...I won't matter...It won't matter...Nothing will...Nothing does...Just let it take me away..._

"...IA!"

_What was that?...A voice?...Who was it?...Doesn't matter..._

"VICTORIA!"

_Is that my name?...Do I have a name?_

"DAMMIT, YOU MORON! FIGHT IT!"

_Oh, that does it Hiei, quit calling me a moron! Wait, what?_

My eyes opened and I could see someone standing across the room from me. It was..._Hiei _and he was calling to _me_. I couldn't respond with nothing but a wail as the dragon pulled away from my arm.

"FIGHT IT! FIGHT IT AS HARD AS YOU CAN!" he told me as he tried to make his way to me, only to have the floor cave in more and both of us fall in.

He crawled through the rubble as the dragon pulsated, black flames jumping off it and singeing anything it touched. He yelped as the flame burned his - _my - _skin and my eyes widened at him clutching his arm in pain.

_Just like what happened at the Dark Tournament..._

Something snapped inside me and I screamed, holding back the energy, like yanking a chain in my mind._ Please help me do this...anyone please...!_

_**You want me to help you?**_

I blinked at the voice in my head. _Oh God, it gets weirder!_

_**Yes, I suppose it does. I've been watching you and I hate to say, you amuse me, girl.**_

_Are you...the Jagan?_

_**I am. And I can help hold it back, but not for long.**_

Oh man, another fanfic cliché for us all! _You **can** talk! Do you talk to Hiei too?!_

_**Now what would be the fun in that? I can't let him know I actually have intelligence. That would make him not trust me.**_

_I guess so...hey, does the dragon talk too?!_

_**Only to me. Now, try to concentrate, dear. I can help but only a little...**_

I swallowed. "Okay..." The Jagan opened, the bandanna and seal destroyed along with it and I felt the pain lesson a little as the energy was pulled back. I watched as Hiei looked at me in shock, then continued towards me.

It was getting harder to keep it in, like holding a really full bladder and all you want is to let it out.

_**That's what you compare this to?**_

_Hey, you said I was amusing._

_**I am rethinking this.**_

Hiei was close to - well, I guess _us_ now - and held out his arm. The dragon reacted and pushed out more, and I screamed as the electric fire pulsated. "OH GOD!"

_**Shhh...try to think of anything else but this...**_

_I cant!_ I sobbed as Hiei grabbed a hold of me.

"Energy is attached to the spirit! Let's see what happens when I do THIS!" I saw a glow surround him, the Gazer shorted in and out from it, as he tried to raise his energy.

The pain was immense..._to the point where I can't think..._

_**Think of something else, dear...anything else...**_

I tried to think of..._I did get a new song recently before all this happened..._Notes played in my head slowly as I closed my eyes...

_...I can tell by your eyes...you've never been by the riverside..._

_**That's right...you just stay there and we will take care of this...**_

Hiei raised his energy as it burst through my body to the dragon. "Come on! See that it's me!"

_...Oh...my God...I see..._

The Jagan pulsated in time with his energy. The dragon roared and swirled around us, as if to challenge Hiei's authority.

_...how everything is torn...in the river deep...and I don't know why...I go...the way...down by...the riverside..._

"It's me...OBEY ME!"

_...I walk to the borders on my own...fall in the water just like a stone..._

The Jagan glowed brighter than ever as Hiei's energy continued to rise, surrounding us in a purple aura.

_...Why do I go here all alone?_

The dragon gave one last screech before it dissipated.

_...Oh...my God...I see...how everything is torn...in the river deep...and I don't know why...I go...the way...down by...the riverside..._

_**Good job, child. Now sleep...**_

I slumped forward and_ I swear someone caught me..._

~TBC

* * *

**Dream: Well that was intense. And I think part of this chap felt like an abridged ep. Personally I blame Team Four Star and LittleKuriboh for poisoning my brain.**

Vhee: I mean...wow.

Hiei: Hmp.

**Dream: That's his impressed grunt.**

Hiei: It is not!

**Dream: The song was was Riverside by Agnes Obel. I was listening to it while I was writing. I recommend it, especially the Lu Lu Rouge remix. I figured having song lyrics is another fanfiction cliché people do so I went for it.**

Hiei: So what, you're parodying fanfics now?

**Dream: Somewhat.**

Vhee: You already did that. -looks at story list-

**Dream: This is different.**

Vhee: How so?

**Dream: I'm taking this seriously. **

Hiei and Vhee: -look at each other-

**Dream: As much as I'm capable. Questions!**

**Q&AWH CHAP 14:**

From: **Kurama's Sister**

"Hiei: Okay what do you think of Fanfics where you end up preggo just cause your a half koomire?"

Hiei: Prego is good on pasta.

"What do you think of Hiei/Yusuke?"

Hiei: It makes me hot.

"Speaking of Yusuke you swore you'd get revenge on him but you never did...And why were you so mad when Yusuke died the second time?"

Hiei: I was going to get my revenge but then we became teammates. And he got my respect when I saw him fight for my sister. Why? Because no one kills a member of my team. No one.

"Well I get to go back to the big soft white room now. ~Kira"

Vhee: You have one too? I mean-ahem...

Hiei: Too many pillows.

Vhee: NEXT

From: **Hiei Emiko**

"No, but seriously, just the way Mukuro LOOKS at you Hiei screams R-A-P-E. I think she's scary, to be honest. Who knows, maybe I will write a fic on it."

Hiei: Whatever.

"Oh, and the only reason I like Yu Yu Hakusho is: It's at the very end of the list of animes."

Hiei: Okay.

"And why do I love/am obsessed with Hii-chan? His stature reminds me of Yami Yugi from Yu-Gi-Oh!"

Vhee: YGO was my first anime love. I will ALWAYS love YGO and have a special place for it in my heart. You never forget your first time.

"But Don't worry Vhee, I love Hiei for different reasons. And, sadly, I do know a someone who would gladly cut her wrists if Hiei wanted to start drinking blood. Until then, Hii-chan. I'm just giving some blood in a bag I stole from the local hospital."

Hiei: -goes out to the balcony and waits-

Vhee: What are you doing?

Hiei: -looks down- Perfect. -throws bag down and a woman screams-

Vhee: Did you just-!

Hiei: -appears in living room- Yes, yes I did.

Vhee: Wow.

Hiei: The ultimate water balloon.

Vhee: The ultimate therapy bill.

"(whispering) Hey Vhee, you know what? If Hiei really actually tried he would probably be able to take over the world just by accessing his fangirl base."

Hiei: I heard that.

Vhee: ...

Hiei: Like I would raise an army of fangirls. It would be horribly ironic, but I refuse to stoop to that level.

From: **inspiration-arts**

"YOU POSTED MY REVIEW! WHO! -lights several firecrackers and tosses out the window- So, my questions: Hiei, why do you say "fail" at the end of some questions? (I really don't care if I sound like a dunce.) "

Hiei: -points to me-

Vhee: Win and Fail are internet terms or Memes. If you can't figure out what they mean...sorry.

Hiei: EPIC FAIL

Vhee: SIGH

"What possessed you to steal the Shadow Sword?"

Hiei: The devil.

"And if Kuwabara doesn't change your view of humans, then why doesn't Keiko? I'm really curious."

Hiei: If Kuwabara doesn't change my view of humans, then why doesn't Keiko? That is an oxymoron...you moron.

Vhee: -laughs-

"P.S.: Hiei, if you try to kill me, you'll die. Capiche? But you're still f-kin' awesome. You know what I mean."

Hiei: Uh huh.

From: **Shezka Foxe**

"Guess what? I virtually have a life!"

Hiei: Congratulations.

"My baby brother is an official fanboy of yours now. How do I know? When you're not on the scree he starts crying his head off. And only at 2 years old...I'm so proud. (cries)"

Hiei: Another life wasted and ruined. My master plan is working.

From: **BlackBelt**

"Is there a holiday that you do enjoy?"

Hiei: There is one in Demon World, it has no human translation, where you go out, find a victim and hunt and taunt them for days. Then you kill them.

Vhee: You're making this up!

Hiei: No, I'm not. Ask Kurama. It has other purposes but the main purpose of it is to make a large kill to impress a female with. Now that I think of it, it is like the demon version of Valentine's Day. Of course we do it much better.

Vhee: Of course.

"I'm sorry if this is insensitive or personal-you don't have to answer; if your mother were still alive would you want to protect her like you do your sister since she cared for you so much?"

Hiei: ...No. She was an adult capable of making her own decisions. I think she proved that.

Vhee: But would you save her if someone was trying to kill her?

Hiei: Yes. But I wouldn't be protective of her, watching her like I do my sister.

Vhee: Hum.

Hiei: What?

Vhee: You were intelligent and nice...for once.

Hiei: I am always intelligent, you moronic ass.

Vhee: And there goes the nice.

"Would you ever care to go to the beach?"

Hiei: I wouldn't care to go anywhere.

From: **Trapped in Reality**

"How old is Hiei?"

Hiei: 27. I have already revealed that.

Vhee: Is that human years or...?

Hiei: It is how long I have been in existence.

Vhee: Okay. Wait, you were 27 last year, which means you will be 28 this year.

Hiei: Your point?

Vhee: You gonna tell us your birthday?

Hiei: No, I'll wait for a fangirl to ask and then ignore it.

Vhee: Yes. Next!

From: **Aeir-Ravenia**

"Onto the dreaded Qs- These r 4 BOTH of u btw."

Vhee: Yummy.

Hiei: -shakes head-

"Stupidity sux. Agree?"

Hiei: Uhhh...

Vhee: Wut did she say?

"If there was Kuwabara and a zombie version of Kuwabara himself, which would u prefer?"

Hiei: Zombies don't talk.

Vhee: The real one of course! Zombies smell bad, what with the rotting flesh.

"Reality and fantasy. City and countryside. Your choice? (pick 1 of each)"

Hiei: I have no fantasy and I hate the city.

Vhee: Opposite for me! Heh heh, did you make these questions like this on purpose so we would be opposite?

Hiei: Doy.

"What would you do if you(Vhee) didn't have a computer and wasn't able to write this great story?"

Vhee: Cry.

Hiei: Laugh.

From: **musiclover882**

"hiya, i'd like to say how wonderful I think your writing style is Vhee. There've been so many time I couldn't stop laughing...or fangirling...-feels ashamed- BUT nonetheless! -turns to Hiei- Hiei-sama I love that I can hear your personality more (via-Vhee;) And though you said you haven't listened to much music, what genre do you like best, I kinda pegged you for a rock/metal fan...Sense the lyrics tend to be a little more gorey but...i'm still curious have a nice day :)"

Hiei: -shrugs- I really don't care. It does make me laugh when I hear the lyrics to human "metal" songs. What was that one...? -thinks- "Die you little bitch, I'll taste your blood, Make you a corpse, And then f-ck you alive?" I don't know, something like that. Pitiful, how they try to sound dark and morbid.

Vhee: W-where did you hear that song?

Hiei: The ferry idiot.

Vhee: Botan?!

Hiei: Well, it had to be her because it was blasting out of her room at the old hag's.

Vhee: Doesn't she share that room with Yukina?

Hiei: -thinks-

Vhee: -blinks-

Hiei: -eyes widen- I...need to go check something. -disappears-

Vhee: I think somebody will find their CD missing.

**Dream: Ah, a nice long doc now...That makes up for the wait.**

Hiei: No, it doesn't.

**Dream: I swear to Koenma I will Hieibara you.**

Hiei: -unsheathes sword-

Vhee: I'm gonna go watch more DBZA. Like now. -runs-

-kung fu punching sounds-


	11. Prepare to sh-t bricks

Disclaimer: I know, a month. Yeah yeah, I'm a fuckin' asshole, okay?

* * *

-doorbell rings-

**Dream: Hm? -answers-**

Delivery guy: Here.

**Dream: What? Another bouquet of black roses? -reads card- "My condolences?" It hasn't been _that_ long since I updated! And they couldn't come up with something better than "my condolences?"**

Vhee: It's better than that one that said, "I'm glad you died you stupid bitch."

**Dream: Why does everyone think I died?!**

Hiei: I'm not sure, but it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I posted it on Facebook.

**Dream: Come on people...I mean really? I get it's been a while but...I couldn't help it! This weird thing happened to me! It's called LIFE and it totally got in my way making me do chores and shit. Go figure. Then the longer I spent away from the comp the more depressed I got which just got worse and worse. Plus the one plot bunny I had left that Hiei didn't kill ran away and left me hanging with FOUR stories. Two here and two on my joint account. So it just snowballed into giant clusterfuck where all I did was stare at my comp wanting nothing more than to blow it up with a bazooka! -panting-**

Vhee: ...

**Dream: ...**

Hiei: Wouldn't it just have been easier to say you died?

**Dream: -_-**

Vhee: Cuz you did.

**Dream: What?**

Vhee: Yeah the pressure of not writing gave you an aneurysm and you died. I had to ask Koenma to bring you back.

**Dream: ...**

Hiei: Why on Earth would you do that?!

Vhee: Um, because she's my creator and without her I cease to exist!

Hiei: ...Which means if she died you wouldn't be able to do anything at all. That glaring plot hole aside, how did you get the ruler of all Spirit World to bring back a worthless woman who basically died of natural causes?

Vhee: -picks a nail- Oh, I have my ways...

A young woman with red hair stands at the desk of Koenma.

"BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK!"

Koenma throws his gavel. "Okay, fine - I'll bring her back! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!"

Vhee: You know how I do.

Hiei: Unfortunately...

**Dream: Ah so that's why the middle of my brain hurts. I thought something was wrong. Good to know. Anyway, shit's gettin' even more serious.**

Hiei: What like everyone dies and frees me from this torment?

**Dream: Worse. You have to make a moral decision.**

Vhee: O.O

Hiei: ...

**Dream: ...**

Hiei: I hate everything.

* * *

Heads or Tails

Chapter 11: Prepare to sh-t bricks

X -x-x-x-x- X

_I'm floating...here and there...just flying_...a_nd then...WHAM right on the hard ground what the f-ck?!_

"Hey, that's my body you idiot!"

_Hiei?_

"Well, excuse me; I've been carrying it all day!"

_Ugh, Yusuke._

"You didn't have to throw her like that," Hiei growled back.

"Aw, Hiei...are you starting to care about her after all?" Kuwabara chimed and then I heard another thunk as a skull hit the floor. "AGH! I didn't think he could hit hard anymore!"

"I don't care about HER! I care about MY _BODY!_ Now call that worthless ruler and get this fixed once and for all!"

I was about to sit up and yell at him for being such a bastard when I realized I couldn't do that. I couldn't move, open my eyes, scream - nothing! _What the hell is going on?!_

_**Hush. **_

_Ja...Jagan?_

_**I suppose you can call me that.**_

_What happened?_

_**Something is wrong...the poison he injected was not what we thought...**_

_It activated the dragon...right?_

_**That's not all it did...**_

_What's wrong? What happened? Why...can't I feel anything?_

_**I think...we...are sick...**_

_What? Sick? Hey, come back! Keep talking to me! Don't leave me here alone!_

A blinding light filled my head and I was suddenly standing in a field of some sort. It was covered in flowers, which I noticed didn't look right. They were flat and one dimensional. And the sky was purple. Funny shaped clouds blew gently through it and I swore I heard a melody from far away. "Huh?" I blinked and looked around. "Where am I?"_ I know this somehow..._

"You are in the place of your wildest dreams...your biggest fantasy."

It was the Jagan, whose voice I never explained to you guys, oops. I can't think of a voice actor right now but when I do I'll let you know. I turned and saw a shadow figure standing a few feet from me.

"My biggest fantasy looks like _this?_"

It nodded I guess. "This place gives you comfort whenever you think about it."

I looked around and suddenly the melody became clear.

_In my field of paper flowers...and candy clouds of lullaby...I lie inside myself for hours...and watch my purple sky fly over me..._

"Oh ugh, really? Evanescence? As if this thing couldn't get more Mary Sue!"

It came closer. "Relax. I generated this from your mind. It's your favorite song and you always imagine it when you listen so I figured you would enjoy it. Was I wrong?"

I sighed. "No...I like it...a lot." I smiled as I looked around. "Thanks...what happened? Are we okay?"

"No...This was all I could do to preserve your mind."

I gasped and stepped back. "What?"

"We are under attack."

I thought about it and suddenly remembered something from chap 8. "Wait...Kurama told me if you opened and activated you would take me over and wipe my mind. Why haven't you done that?"

It chuckled darkly. "Your _Kurama_ doesn't know everything. He was operating under the assumption that I do not have my own intelligence. He does not know how Evil Eyes work, he only knows what knowledge has been passed on to others. We never reveal ourselves."

I blinked. "And yet you did...to me." It said nothing. "Wow."

It sighed. "I had no other choice. This situation is...unique."

"Yeah no shit." I looked at the shadow. "Do you have your own form or...am I just gonna look at something from an episode of Ghost Hunters all day?"

"You are very demanding. Don't you want to know how we are under attack?"

"Sure, but you're kinda freaking me out." It sighed heavily and Hiei appeared. "No, not Hiei. I never thought I'd ever say this, but I'm kinda sick of him right now."

"Hiei" rolled his eyes and became taller, hair growing longer and lighter. The eyes on his head turned purple and where the Jagan was became a glowing gold eye. "What the f-ck?! Not Yami Marik!"

"What, you like him, right?"

"NO! Still weird! Choose something for yourself and stop trying to please me!"

He sighed and the golden light from his eye enveloped him. I looked away at the light and when it diminished I gasped at the boy standing in front of me. He looked like Sniper a little bit, mixed with half a dozen anime boys that had that hair style. "Better?"

"Similar to Sniper but I guess it'll do." He shrugged as I heard a few rumbles of thunder in the distance. "Do you have a name?"

"No."

I smiled. "Well, you need one. Something better than _Jagan_."

"Is this how you intend to distract yourself from our impending doom?"

"Yep, sure is. Now let's see..." His attitude was a lot like Hiei's but still not like him. Plus I wanted there to be some semblance of who/what he is in his name. I knew the perfect name for him cuz I always liked it. "Jinei."

He blinked. "Jin...ei?"

"Yeah, it fits you perfectly."

He looked down then out towards the field. "No one in all my years has ever given me a name."

"Well now someone has."

He looked back at me. "You are a very odd little girl. I'm glad I didn't erase your mind."

I smiled. "Yeah...Hey wait - I thought you said Kurama was wrong about that!"

"I said he didn't know everything. I didn't say he was wrong."

"Ugh..."

* * *

"So let me get this straight...the Mirror was destroyed and all we have is a Reality of Change that will leave us stuck in whatever reality we go to?" Yusuke drawled in monotone.

"Yes, that would be the gist of it," Koenma replied sucking his binky. "However there is a way around this. Durn said that his Reality objects would not take him to a place where the Reality of Change would travel with you. That is because they protect each other from abuse. But Durn didn't know how to wish for it properly. You see, there are ways around every rule."

Kurama stepped forward. "You can wish to go to the reality that has that object?"

"Yes, and another Mirror of course."

"How would finding that Reality of Change help us?" Hiei snapped.

"Because then we could come back, doofus," Yusuke chided.

Kurama chuckled at the daggers Hiei shot the ex detective. "And take Victoria home. We could travel as we pleased."

"But we have worse matters than even that," Genkai announced as she came in.

They all looked up. "How is she?" Kurama asked.

"Not good. Whatever was done to her is killing her and Hiei's body."

Everyone gasped.

"What do you mean?" Hiei asked looking toward the bedroom that held the girl. Yukina was entering it with a tray of cool towels.

"Basically, something has attached itself to her energy. Since she has none, or close to none, it is destroying her quickly. Her very soul is being ravaged. That is why the dragon reacted violently. It was trying to get away from it."

Hiei looked down and walked to the window, his back to everyone. "And I made it go back..."

"I also think the Jagan is attempting to stay the execution as it were. It's fully activated and emitting a large amount of energy. But this...whatever this is will suck it dry too. Then her life energy."

"The Jagan is protecting her?" Yusuke asked.

Genkai sipped some tea. "Looks like it."

Kurama pondered. "How strange..."

"I found out what it is!" Botan screamed as she flew into the room, knocking everyone back.

"AH, GOD BOTAN!" Yusuke shrieked as everyone else groaned.

"Sorry! But we found a syringe in the rubble and analyzed it!" She came to Koenma and looked solemnly to the floor. "It's Sepi..."

Koenma dropped his pacifier. "Oh, no..."

Yusuke sat up. "Okay, what's Sepi?"

Kurama sighed heavily. "Just what Genkai said. An energy eating poison. Though usually it does other things to the victim first...perhaps it is because she has no energy of her own...At any case, it will eat her life energy and kill the body she inhabits."

Hiei rubbed his face. "Great..."

Kuwabara looked as Yukina left the room, her face saddened more than he had ever seen. "What do we do now?"

Koenma looked to the fire demon. "That depends on Hiei..."

Hiei looked up. "What?"

"This is your decision, Hiei. You have to choose what we do next."

Kuwabara stood up. "Wait, what are you talking about?" They all stood, except Koenma and Genkai.

"Hiei...if we switch you back with her...you will be the one that dies."

* * *

STEVE BLUM! That's it! Wow, I can't believe I forgot his name! I mean hel-lo? He's in everything. Ahh man, it's true what they say; what you don't use, ya lose.

So anything exciting happening out there?

* * *

"What do you mean Hiei's gonna die?!" Kuwabara wailed.

"What the hell?!" Yusuke screamed.

"There's gotta be something else we can do!" Kuwabara joined.

"Shut up! Both of you!" Hiei finally silenced them. He turned to the Prince. "Koenma...will you make me switch with the girl?"

He sighed heavily. "Since she is not from our world, I'm not sure what the rules are for this. I can't really force you...and you are very valuable to us..."

"So Hiei is more important 'cause he can do your bidding?" Kuwabara snapped.

Hiei scoffed. "Which I don't anymore anyway."

"Oh, cram it, tiny," Yusuke snickered. "You know you'd help us if we really needed it. You always do."

Hiei spit out some air. "So...I don't have to switch with her, in which case I get stuck in this body forever?"

Genkai chuckled. "Either that or you die."

"Glad to see all of you care so much about _her_ in there," Kuwabara growled. "Does no one give a damn that she's gonna die? An innocent young girl?"

"I_ do_ care." All looked to see Yukina. "She really hasn't done anything wrong."

Kurama nodded. "Yes, if we are to believe her, all she ever did was...like us."

Hiei rolled his eyes. "So what? We didn't ask for her to come here. Look what she's done!"

"She led us to someone we've been looking for for months and helped stop him from destroying who knows how many lives," Koenma calmly answered.

"_I_ stopped the dragon. All _she _did was get captured!"

Kuwabara clenched his fists. "And tortured by that guy and is now in who knows what kinda pain!"

* * *

"So then we twist the last stem and presto! A pretty little crown for you!"

"I'm already wearing a necklace and bracelet. Do I really need a crown?"

"Well, I don't wanna mess up my hair and I did make it for you."

Jinei sighs. "I really hope they find a way to save us soon..."

* * *

"This is_ not_ my fault!" Hiei yelled.

"No, but you're acting like it's no big deal that's she's gonna die for you!"

"And what does it matter to me if she does? She is no one to any of us." Hiei began to stomp off and was stopped by a hand on his arm.

"Hiei...she doesn't deserve to _die_..."

He sighed and looked into the eyes of his sister. "And I do?" He chuckled morosely. "Yes, I suppose I do, I'll admit that - but do _you_ really want me to die instead of her?" Her eyes widened. "She told me."

She blinked away tears. "I...does it really not matter to you than an innocent will die to spare your life? I...didn't think you could be so cruel..."

His eyes widened before he sneered and ripped his arm away from her. "Why am I suddenly the one who is wrong? _I_ am the victim in all of this. I didn't see any of you losing your bodies, or suffering this humiliation. You all really want her to live instead of me?" He chuckled and shook his head. "Some _friends_ you are." And he left.

"Oh, God..." Yusuke groaned as he plopped on the couch.

Koenma sighed as he continued sucking. "He has a point. Just who are we willing to sacrifice?"

"There has to be another way!" Kuwabara paced the room. "Is there a cure for Sepi?"

"There is an antidote...but the plants that make it have gone extinct," Kurama admitted sadly as he joined Yusuke on the couch.

Koenma's head popped up. "There is still a way! And we have the object to help us!" He held up the Reality of Change. "All we need is the right wish..."

Yusuke looked at the object with trepidation. "And what's that?"

Koenma smiled. "The bigger question is who. It will only take one."

And everyone looked at Kurama who promptly sweatdropped. "Uh..."

"You are the King of Bandits, correct?" Koenma smiled wider.

"Good at finding stuff and strategizing," Kuwabara added.

Yusuke sputtered. "Hey, why not me! I'm the hero in this series!"

**WHACK!**

Botan's oar fit nicely upon his head.

"What do you say, Kurama?" Koenma offered. "We can decide what's next after we get the objects."

The former fox thought about it."I suppose it would be better to have the items just in case. And I do agree I would be the best candidate." He took the Reality of Change. "What do I wish for?"

"Simple. You wish for it to take you to the reality that will fix all of our problems."

* * *

"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts...deedle lee dee dee, here they are a'standing in a row...big ones, small ones, some as big as your head..."

Thunder crashed before I could continue which was good cuz I didn't know what came next in that song, unless you counted "I never would've had to do this with Mufasa."

"What's going on?" I asked as the sky grew dark.

Jinei stood up, the paper flower jewelry falling to the ground. "It's getting worse...my energy...I am weakening...I will be unable to keep this fantasy much longer."

The flowers turned to dust as my lullaby clouds turned to hateful faces, melting into a black storm headed right for us. "A bit melodramatic isn't it?!" I screamed as the wind blew my once beautiful field away.

"I'm sorry..." his voice drifted as his form dissipated. "I must reserve my energy. _I must lock you away..._"

"WHAT?! NO!" The dust of my flowers kicked up around me and twirled into a vortex that swallowed me up into darkness. I wanted to call Jinei's name for help but...as I fell I did something really stupid and lame and obvious. "_HIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!_"

Yup, I'm officially a Sue.

And oh, yeah - I'm kinda nonexistent at this point which means I can't talk anymo

* * *

"Don't mess this up, Kurama," Yusuke said and received a look from the former thief. "Hehe, right." Kurama held the object in his hand and closed his eyes. Silently he made his request and pressed the button. A beep sounded and he was gone in a flash of white light. "How very Star Trek."

Hiei sighed and left the room. He knew Kurama could handle himself but it was still nerve racking to depend on one person to save his life. _Although technically his life was not in danger at the moment..._

He entered the room that held the girl. Yukina was once again at her side, making sure she was okay. It was a strange sight to behold, mostly because the girl's Spirit Gazer had been destroyed and she now looked like him. So it was his sister..._tending to him..._

He shook his head and stepped forward. Yukina sighed heavily. "Something changed. She was calm and peaceful just a few minutes ago. I think I even saw a smile or two. Then she yelped and now...she's just still. Like a statue."

He came closer as Yukina adjusted the blankets around the girl. He looked down at the object around his neck and cringed. Something about watching Yukina tend to himself was unnerving so he removed the necklace.

Deactivating it, he handed it to Yukina. She looked up and gasped. "But..."

"I took it from her in the first place," he spoke now in the female's voice. "She should have it."

She nodded with a small smile and put it around Victoria, reactivating it. Once they saw the actual girl laying there she gasped with her hands around her mouth. "Oh, Hiei! Something _is_ wrong!"

The girl looked pale, her eyes sunken in with black circles under them. "Botan said the Gazer reflects your true soul. This means her soul is sick!" Yukina cried.

Hiei sighed inwardly at his sister's tears. "She'll be alright. Kurama has gone to retrieve the items to help us. It'll all be fine."

She sniffled and wiped her face before they could become jewels. He went to leave as her voice again stopped him. "She told you?" Silence swept between them and he heard the floorboards creak. "Don't you have anything to say to me?"

He had s_o_ many things to say to her, and no ways to say it. He didn't have the mental strength to deal with this now. All the ridiculous feminine hormones in this body were messing with him in ways no one knew about. He actually had a passing thought to run to his sister and embrace her. He shook his head and reached for the door. "Not like this." And he left.

* * *

So far nothing seemed out of place, but he had to be cautious. Anything here could be dangerous, since he had no idea what kind of world he was in. He had landed in the forest and soon realized he was quite a distance away from Genkai's temple, if it even existed here.

He ran a few blocks before he reached a clearing over a hill, seeing Sarayashiki City. He sighed in relief. So far things seemed normal. He ran toward the city and soon realized that the city was not like his world at all.

The lights were...he wasn't really sure what they were but everything, every building, every road, anything at all was made...out of plants.

He blinked as he stood in the middle of this photosynthesis utopia, and watched as numerous people walked around him. They were laughing and smiling, totally carefree and happy. Most were barefoot and all the clothing was made from fauna as well.

And he looked down to see he was indeed dressed the same way. "Uhm..."

"Hello there! Joyous day!" One greeted him and he sweatdropped.

"Uh, yes."

"Joyous day!" Another.

"Yes. Indeed."

"Joyous - !"

"Yes, joyous day, I know," he deadpanned. The female simply smiled and skipped, yes skipped, merrily away throwing rose petals as she did. He sighed heavily. "Apparently, this world is..._joyous_. Certainly seems peaceful. Where can I find the Reality and Mirror of Change here?"

"Kurama?"

He turned and saw the amethyst eyes of Botan staring at him. "Botan?"

"What are you doing here?"

Like the rest of the human populace, she was dressed in green leaves covering private areas. Like she wrapped a giant leaf around her and that's it. Although she did have some pink flowers in her hair, which he noticed was down. "Botan, I need to see Koenma." Since she was here, surely he would be.

"Of course! Anything for you, Kurama!" And she grabbed his hand. Before he could protest, wings sprouted out of her back and they were flying into the air.

He gulped as they got higher and higher, and yelled in surprise when her grip let go. She caught him immediately and held him under the arms as they flew. "You are mighty strong, Botan..."

She laughed. "What are you talking about, Kurama? I'm the weakest one in our bunch! You know that!"

He sighed as they flew, not to Spirit World but to Genkai's temple which was in a different area. Instead of being hidden in the woods it was right outside the city. She soon landed and he looked at the temple completely redone in plants. "Very nice."

"Kurama, you act as if you never saw it before!"

He chuckled and dusted himself off. "Where is Koenma?"

"Inside as always!"

He smiled and walked inside seeing Koenma in nothing but a leaf loincloth, drinking out of a huge rosebud. "Kurama!" Was _everyone_ so loud here? "What brings you here?!"

"I need to ask you something. I'm looking for two items."

"Sure, Kurama! Anything for you! After all, we all have this because of you!"

He gulped. "What?"

Botan laughed uproariously,. "Oh, Koenma! It's like he doesn't remember taking over Spirit World and Human World becoming our supreme leader!"

And he facefaulted.

"Oh look, Koenma! He fell to the floor!" And they laughed hysterically.

He got up and rubbed his head. Was everyone...intoxicated here? And if so, why would the Kurama in this world wish to make it be like this? He certainly had no desires of_ anything_ close to this.

Except for that one _weird_ dream he had years ago...

He shook his head and stood up. "So...can I have the items?"

"It's like he thinks he has to ask!" Koenma was turning blue. "You know all Spirit World items are in your vault, Kurama!"

"And where is that?"

They looked at each other.

More raucous laughter.

He sighed. "I shall find it myself then..." They were holding onto each other as they wailed in hilarity. He was about to leave when a question struck him, and he was always too curious for his own good. "Botan, how do you have wings?"

"Kurama! You gave me that potion, remember?! We all have wings now! Much better than walking!"

He left shaking his head as they laughed even harder.

_Something was wrong here..._

He checked every room and found nothing of any value. Certainly his vault would not be anywhere near here. He traipsed out into the woods, knowing that if his vault was anywhere he could find, it would be covered in his own energy signal. He knew the tricks of concealing hiding places, so he figured that was the best place to start.

He was just a few minutes into the forest when he heard voices. "OH!" It sounded like Kuwabara in pain so he ran to it. He stopped when he saw him laying on his back, Yukina feeding him berries. "More, my love! MORE!" She fed him another and he screamed in what appeared to be agony. "SOOOOOO _GOOOOOOOOOOD!_"

"Even though it burns? The Jipson berry has an awful spice!" Her voice was loud too even for her.

"NO! _NOOOO!_ _**IT'S WONDERFUL!**_"

Kurama felt his eye twitching at the display so he just walked away. He soon came across Yusuke and had to turn away quickly because the mazakou was bathing in a river. He mumbled to himself as he followed the strong scent of roses, soon finding what appeared to be a tree house made of a single gigantic rosebud.

He could feel his own energy signal all over it, so this must be the vault. He climbed the tree with ease since there were footholds for it. He made it inside and gasped as he saw many wondrous items that he himself had stolen in his own past.

He just hoped the two he was looking for were here.

He combed through piles of gold and jewels and...junk. Worthless junk. Surely, he had more than this here? If he truly took over this world and the Spirit World...which was hard to imagine.

He gasped when his hand found the Orb of Baast and the Forlorn Hope, which he noticed was intact. Next to it was the Shadow Sword and he gulped. He did have more than simple gems.

"Why are you looking at those?"

He froze at the voice of Hiei and turned to see him in just another leaf loincloth, arms crossed and glaring at him. He steadied himself. "I...am looking for two items I need."

"And what would those be?"

Why not. "The Reality and Mirror of Change. Do you know them?"

Hiei snorted. "I know every item in here, fox."

He balked. Hiei never called him that, plus the tone was almost like...

_...a pet name._

He swallowed hard as Hiei went to another pile and picked up two small objects. "Here. Why do you need them?"

At least Hiei wasn't loud here. "I just wanted to find them. I hate it when I can't find something."

Hiei chuckled. "Yes, I know."

It went silent between them as Kurama regarded the items in his hand. One looked like a compact, though it was solid gold. The Reality was the same way. Same in size and design but solid gold. "Hmm...interesting."

"So, want to find some more items?"

He turned and yelped when he saw Hiei was completely naked now. "Oh, uh!"

"I'll jump in the pile and you find _this_..." and he pointed. The room went blue...then purple...then RED. "I love it when you blush, _Kurama_..."

"_What_ is going on here?"

Hiei stopped grinning. "What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me?! What's wrong with _you_?! Why is everyone so happy and loud all the time?"

Hiei blinked. "Because the pollen you continuously put into the air makes them that way."

"And how did I take over this world and Spirit World?"

"You created the pollen and released it into the air. Everyone became addicted to it and will do _anything_ to get more of it. It makes people feel euphoric and in near orgasmic states all day long."

Kurama stood up, keeping his eyes locked onto the smaller male's. "Even you?"

Hiei chuckled. "No. You gave me the only antidote."

Kurama felt his blood drain. "Then...why..." his eyes darted.

"Though I am not completely immune to it. I may not be as _joyous_ as everyone else here, but the amorous effects remain..." and he started coming towards him again.

"And I am all for this?"

"You made this house for us, Kurama..." And wings sprouted from his back, large ones with black and purple flames running through them. "I like this amnesia game. Let's play another."

Kurama sighed. "First answer me this; what is the state of Demon World?"

Hiei quirked an eyebrow. "You know that. You destroyed everything."

He gasped. "Why would I do that? Why would I destroy my own world and turn this place into insanity?"

Hiei crossed his arms. "This ceases to be fun. You know very well the death of your mother made you go insane. But I could care less what you do with your insanity as long as you continue to be with me. You're...not thinking of leaving me...are you?"

Kurama held the items tightly. "In a manner of speaking, yes..."

Hiei gasped and stepped back, wrapping himself in his own wings, which Kurama was thankful for. "You wish to leave me? Why? What have I done to upset you?"

"N-Nothing..."

"You...want to leave me...?" Black liquid welled in Hiei's eyes and spilled down his face, making black gems on the floor, which cracked and leaked out blood.

"Uhh..."

"You wanna leave me after all I've given up for you?!" he screeched and released his wings, Kurama cringing in response. "FINE! IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU, NO ONE WILL!"

He had no other choice. He grasped the Reality of Change just as long black claws extended out of Hiei's fingers, fangs dripping with more black liquid as his whole body was covered in black fur.

"What did I _do_ to you?"

Black flames erupted from his right arm, the flower bud melting around them. "YOU CHANGED ME! AND I LET YOU! KNOW WHY?!"

He shook his head. "No! TAKE ME HOME!" He pressed the button just as Hiei made his attack, talons stretched for his face.

"**I LOVE YOOOOOOOOU!**"

And he was gone in another flash of white.

* * *

The temple was quiet, errily quiet. No one said anything as they waited. Kurama had been gone hours and who knows just what kind of world he had ended up in. A loud crash made them all jump up and look outside.

Kurama was face first in the pavement. Yukina gasped and ran to him, immediately healing him. He sat up and rubbed his neck. "Oh...my..."

"You look like you've been to hell and back," Yusuke commented.

Kurama deadpanned. "You have no idea." He held up the items. "I have them. We can switch them back now."

"What about the antidote?" Yukina asked.

Kurama held his head. "Demon World was even more destroyed there than it is here. And I didn't want to say anything, but even if it wasn't extinct in that reality, it would have been difficult to find. It's clear in the darkest pits..."

"So you have no cure." He looked up at the voice of Victoria to see her standing in Hiei's atire.

He sighed heavily. "No, Hiei. I do not. You will have to decide wheteher or not you will switch with her." Hiei looked off to the distance and walked back inside. "Why is his Gazer gone?"

"He gave it to Vhee," Yusuke shrugged.

They went back inside to follow him and found the trapped fire apparition in front of Genkai. "I need to reach her," he demanded.

Genkai raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"The Jagan is fully activated and open. I need someone with psychic abilities to link me with it. You are all there is."

"Why do you need to reach her, Hiei?" He looked down. "Do you wish to ask her if it's all right that you let her die?"

He growled. "I need to talk to her! I _don't_ need to tell you my reasons!"

"Oh, now you wanna talk to her..." Kuwabara scoffed.

"Shut up. I have proved I can still use my sword and I will on your face. Will you help me or not?" he finished to Genkai.

She sighed. "It would be difficult but since the Jagan knows you it may work."

"Will it hurt you, master Genkai?" Botan asked tentatively.

She shrugged. "I'm not sure. I've never done it before."

Yusuke facepalmed. "Oh, ugh."

"Relax, dimwit. I won't risk my life for these two idiots." She walked to the bedroom.

Shizuru lit a ciggarette. "Which is old bat speak for she totally will. You better not push her too hard, pint wad."

Hiei sneered at the elder Kuwabara. "I just need to ask one question. As soon as I get my answer, I will stop."

"You _are_ gonna ask Vhee if it's okay if she dies! You bastard!" the younger Kuwabara wailed, only to be silenced by the older.

"Shut it! At least he's asking."

Keiko sniffled and Yusuke put an arm around her. "She went through all that and now she's gonna die...I should've done more to save her...maybe if he hadn't knocked me out I coulda stopped him from injecting that stuff in her!"

Yusuke held her as she cried. "No, stop that. It wasn't your fault. None at all...it's okay..."

Hiei groaned at the nauseous display, but what made him more sick was his eyes were starting to sting. It was like her crying automatically made him want to. Yukina had the same effect on him.

Damn stupid female hormones.

He went into the bedroom with Genkai and sat next to the girl. "Deactivate the necklace. We don't need anything in the way." He nodded and did so, showing both gender switched people as they really were.

"Put your hand on her forhead."

"You mean my forehead and _my _Jagan."

"You want my help or not?" Hiei grumbled and did as he was told. Genkai took her hand and placed it on top of his. Her energy flared and surrounded them as the others poured into the room. "Concentrate. Try to reach her mind like you would if you had the Jagan."

Hiei nodded and closed his eyes. Opening a connection like he used to, Genkai's abilities coursing through him. _Can you hear me? Let me in._

_**Nnnn...**_

That wasn't much of a response but it was proof she was there somewhere. "I can't reach her."

"The Jagan is blocking us. I'm not sure why..." She grunted as the Evil Eye pushed against her. "It's okay. We're here. Let her go. We just want to talk to her..."

"Why are you talking to it? It doesn't undertsand you."

She snorted. "Shows how much you know about your own organ."

_**Nnnnoooo...**_

That voice was _not _hers and he gasped, his eyes shooting open. "What the hell?"

"Told ya," Genkai chuckled. "It's okay. We won't hurt her. We just need to ask her something."

_**...can't protect her...if...bring barrier down...**_

He couldn't believe it. The Jagan had intelligence. _Real_ intelligence! He always felt the instincts of it and even emotional impulses but never true consciousness like this. This was definitely something he would have to log away for later...

"You don't have to protect her, I will...just let us in for a few minutes..." Genkai pleaded.

"Why are you protecting her anyway?" Hiei finally snapped. "_I_ am your master and I say let me in!"

Genkai sighed. "Great way to get in his good graces, Hiei..."

"It is not a _he!_"

She scoffed. "And to think, you're always the one spouting about how the Jagan demands and deserves repsect."

Hiei growled at the idiocy of it all.

_**...I like her better...**_

Hiei gasped as he was evolped in darkness, floating in a void. He looked around and saw a small light. He guided himself to it soon realizing it was a lit candle and the girl was sitting in front of it. "You." He was back to himself and she was herself.

She looked up. "Me."

He sighed. "I need to tell you something. Can you understand me?" She nodded as she looked at the flame. "There is a poison in my body. The one you currently inhabit. It will kill my body and the soul inside it very soon. We have found a new Mirror of Change and can switch back now. But if we do..."

"You will be the one that dies instead of me?" She slowly looked up at him, the fire reflecting off her face.

"Yes."

"You're asking me if it's okay not to switch back."

He groaned. "I hate proving those imbeciles right..."

She stood up and faced him. "Hiei...I would never ask you to die for me. I wouldn't ask anyone to do that for me...especially not me..."

"Why, because you're so worthless? Save your pathetic human drivel for yourself. Why would you die for me? Hmm? You like me that much?"

She looked down then back up. "Hiei...you and your friends got me through some tough times in my life. I wouldn't hurt any of you. You guys didn't ask for this. I know you don't wanna be trapped in my body but maybe Koenma can find a strong demon body for you and you can kinda get a better thing."

He scoffed. "Nothing would make this better."

"I know...but you don't deserve to die."

"Heh, and you claim to know my past. You should know that I do."

"I thought you were over that." His head snapped to heers. "Uh, I mean I thought Mukuro helped you get over that or whatever..."

"I am _over it. _I am merely stating a fact."

She sighed heavily. "My answer is you don't have to switch. I won't ask you to. You do what you want. You always do anyway."

He frowned. "You think you know me so well, don't you? You think you know what I'll do? Know how I think, how I feel?" He got real close to her, inches away from her face and she squeaked. "I'll show you. I'll show _all_ of you."

And he gapsed as his eyes opened.

"Did you get your answer?" Genkai asked as she pulled her hand away, the Jagan glowing again.

Hiei swallowed and ignored the concerned faces of everyone staring at him. He inhaled deeply and stood up, looking straight at Botan who was cradling the items.

"Do it. Switch us back."

~TBC

* * *

**Dream: Yeah, Yeah I fuckin know! Don't even okay? If you suffered the writer's block I have you'd be cheering me for even cranking this out! I had to post something and I hated splitting it like that but I HAD NO CHOICE. An update _had _to be made. I don't have many writing days like this, or like any ever so here it is. The best I could do. STOP YELLING AT MEEEEEEEEE!**

Vhee: No one's yelling at you. :(

Hiei: No, they are. Can you hear them? In your head?

**Dream: Aw fuck it. Here's some Q&A.**

**Q&AWH Chap 15:**

From: **BlackBelt**

"I'll start with Vhee this time around

Would you prefer to live in a place where it has snow-like near a mountain, a place near the beach, or is there another type of land you would rather live at?"

Vhee: Oh, I dunno. I like all of that. To be honest, pictures of Chicago and Tokyo make me feel like that's the piece of me that's missing. One of those cities maybe? Lol, like I'll ever live in Japan, but Illinois isn't too far fetched...

"What would be the most perfect birthday/Christmas/etc gift a person could give you?"

Vhee: Uh...internet?

Hiei: Moron.

Vhee: Well, I could've said a billion dollars but I didn't want to sound lame...er...

"What is your favorite fruit?"

Vhee: Lemons!

Hiei: -dark chuckle-

Vhee: I'm serious, you pervert.

"Ok, now its back to Hiei"

Hiei: Wha-hoo.

"If I ever gave you a voodoo-doll. Who would it be and what would you do with it?"

Hiei: I choose...Yusuke...and I would make him...

Vhee: Sleep with Kuwabara?

Hiei: Sure that works, then afterwards he'll kill him.

"Is there a person you would find worthy enough to be Yukina's mate?"

Hiei: ...

Vhee: Not really.

"Why is it you think fangirls love/lust/squeal over you?"

Hiei: They squeal because their brains don't work, they don't _know_ what love is, and they lust over me because they are horny little devils.

Vhee: Jerk.

From: **Shezka Foxe**

"Hehehehehehehehhe...I KNEW Botan would play that CD. -stops and looks over her shoulder- Neh, thought someone was going to kill me for a moment there. You know, when it comes to Yukina, Hiei is just a over worried mother hen when come to her. That's what makes Hii-chan so cute! "

Hiei: Whatever.

Vhee: You're unusually calm today, Hiei. What's up?

Hiei: -shrug- Just excepting the fact that I will never escape you.

Vhee: ...T-that...is the nicest thing...you have ever said to me! -blubbering and sniffing-

Hiei: Your nose runs.

Vhee: -blows loudly- Ahem. Next!

From: **Trapped in Reality**

"I'm sorry to tell you, but Amy Lee went main-stream...So anyway, ...I'm sorry; it's been forever since I saw the series, and I can't remember villians' names. In the demon world tournament, Kurama makes these cherry tree things grow out the ground. How old were the seeds in the ground? I thought they were a thousand years old themselves."

Hiei: They were one thousand years old. I said Kurama was a little over one thousand. I don't know how much, he never told me.

Vhee: It's weird how long you guys live.

Hiei: Yes, and you will be a long forgotten memory when I reach that age.

Vhee: ...Unfortunately, I am aware of that. -sigh- Next!

From: **inspiration-arts**

"Hiei: I have nothing to say to you. I don't care how happy you are to hear this."

Hiei: Actually, you wasted my time just saying that. And the fact that you said you have nothing to say to me, is saying something in and of itself. Go play in traffic.

Vhee: Ugh...

Hiei: Lemme guess? Next?

Vhee: I HATE IT WHEN YOU ARE CALM! BE LIKE HIEI!

Hiei: Okay, how about I slit open your back, pull out your spine, and then shove it down your throat?

Vhee: Much better. Now it's next!

From: **i-eat-midgets-and-ice-cream**

"hiei when is your birthday,man?"

Hiei: And there it is. When is my birthday? The day star number 12769376354589546 blew up.

Vhee: Wow.

"what is your fav season?"

Hiei: Spring, I suppose.

Hiei: She didn't ask you.

Vhee: So? I can respond.

Hiei: Annoying.

Vhee: Always, dear. Next.

From: **Trappersgirl**

"And the one answer that just made me roll around laughing was Hiei's sarcasm about what he thought about Yusuke/Hiei pairing. Really hot Hiei or just a little hot? Lol."

Hiei: REALLY hot.

"And for my question...running out of them...okay Hiei, what is the worst thing you have ever smelled of? Or smelled?"

Hiei: The putrid guts of a blood eating mucus shark in the Swamp of Gluttony.

Vhee: There are so many questions I can think of from that statement but I'll go with one; The Swamp of Gluttony?

Hiei: You'd know if you went there.

Vhee: O-kay...

"And I really can't remember and too lazy to check and see if this was asked so my apologies if it was. Why do you wear so many belts? You started with one belt and ventured into four of them. Did your clothes get that stretched out or something? Or did you shrink in the wash? I'm sorry, that was be being goofy."

Hiei: Yeah, I shrunk. I used to be 6ft 5.

Vhee: -shakes head- He wore different pant types. He used to wear plain pants with a red tie and then moved to the belts. So _why_ all the belts?

Hiei: I like being aggravated whenever I have to piss.

Vhee: So when you're pissing you're pissed off?

Hiei: -sighs heavily-

Vhee: Yeah. Next!

From: **kusowatashiainingen**

"Have you two seen Invader Zim and what did you think of it? Who's your favorite character?"

Hiei: Gur.

Vhee: Yeah, Zim. My fav ep is when he gets germ seeing glasses and becomes germ phobic. "GERMS!"

Hiei: Heh.

"Thanks for reading to this junk and good luck with further events! I've got cookie dough blasts for each of you from sonic (if you know what that is). Kuso and the chaos twins."

Vhee: I LOVE Sonic!

Hiei: Shadow is better.

Vhee: ...The restaurant.

Hiei: ...Oh.

Vhee: You want some mustard for your foot?

Hiei: Tabasco is better.

Vhee: Ok then...HIEI LIKES SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!

Hiei: -eats cookie dough blast in one gulp-

Vhee: How you don't choke and die is beyond me. Next!

From: **FuzzBucket**

"Both of You:If some one were to come up and smell you, what would they say you smell like?"

Vhee: Uh...my deodorant? Which is either baby powder or...something else...

Hiei: Trees.

Vhee: How can you smell like trees?

Hiei: By sitting in them.

Vhee: And sleeping in them, and spending every waking moment in them...yeah, I can see how now.

From: **Kurama's Sister**

"Hiei: Hi how are you?"

Hiei: At peace with my inner being.

"Okay let me try this again How do you feel when you get pregnant in fanfiction just because your mom was a koormire?"

Hiei: Maybe you didn't get the hint the last time.

"And what about fanfics where you end up committing suicide? -hides my account behind my back-"

Hiei: I find those hilarious.

"Also if you died what would happen to your dragon?"

Hiei: It would return to the pits of Demon World.

Vhee: How?

Hiei: ...

Vhee: You don't know, do you?

Hiei: -earases Vhee's memory-

Vhee: Huh? Who? What was I doing?

Hiei: Ending this forever.

Vhee: I was?

Hiei: -can't believe this is actually working- Yes.

Vhee: -thinks- Yeah...well, this is a sad day, everyone. I bid you goodbye and-

Hiei: You already said all that stuff.

Vhee: Oh. Well then...g-goodbye...-sniff- -violin music plays- Goodbye Everyone

Vhe-needle sctatch-

Vhee: Wait. _**HIEI, YOU BASTARD!**_

**Dream: That was a fun day.**

Hiei: You weren't even there.

**Dream: Yes, I was. In your minds...**

Vhee: Uh...

Hiei: ...

**Dream: Yup. And if there are any typos I don't give a shit! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH don't flame me.**


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